This is why I never liked to discuss or present any unpublished work at conference or to other academics. Nobody can or should be trusted.

To be honest it sounds like you are considering the PhD for all the wrong reasons. I would say you need to be absolutely certain you want a PhD and you need to have very little doubt that you are good enough before you start. There are many examples of PhD students being broken by the process and you dont want to become one of them.
A PhD will be the toughest intellectual thing most people will do in their lives so dont expect anything other than 4 years of feeling completely out of your depth. This is normal.

Some other points.
1) Stop trying to plan the minutiae your life and start living it. Have kids when you want to have kids and just deal with the consequences when they occur. Plans almost never work out the way you thought.

2) There is no such thing as being too old for a PhD. I have no idea where people keep getting that idea from.

A country has no business charging its citizens to be educated because an educated society is an investment not a cost.

Also, thinking about your pension at the age of 37 is grim. I would not make decisions based on what I might need at the age of 65. I am 48 and have no pension other than the state pension to look forward to - I may drop dead next week or I will probably choose to remain active until I die. Mind you, in the UK we dont believe in letting our citizens starve in the street so its easier for me to do this than for you.
Get out there and live your life.

Absolutely spot on.
Since I finished and started running my own business I forgot all about the PhD within a week or two, most of my energy returned and I could enjoy life again. Just need to worry about earning enough to buy food now :-D

Everyone of us feels a fraud at some point of our PhD.
Those who dont are either not doing anything challenging or worthwhile or they are lying bastards.
In my opinion of course :-D

If everyone and their dog is gaining an honours degree then you would be foolish not to do the same.

That is a very difficult set of circumstances.
I cant help you with the boyfriend bit other than to say that you need to find a way of parking this right now because you have more important things to worry about. At least you found out after only a few years. Imagine dedicating your entire life to this guy and realising he was wrong for you.

Forget your supervisors. Right now they are irrelevant and you should not be needing them at all at this stage.

As long as you have a roof, your living situation is not a priority right at this moment either and can be put to one side.

Crying or therapy isnt going to help you either. Its time for you to. gather any energy you have left and fight for your future for the next 28 days. You have plenty of time to cry after that.

The point is to try and mentally block things off temporarily so you can focus on one thing - submitting. Right now you are trying to deal with too many other issues which are simply not important in the next month. Deal with those in October once you have submitted.

Then you need to decide if you can gather enough energy to fight that single battle.
Dont focus on perfection right now. Just focus on writing something which allows you to submit on time. Changes can be made later.
Remember that no matter how hard this month is going to be, it will end in just a few weeks and it will all be over, leaving you time to deal with the other crap going on.

If you are having mental health issues I would urge you to fix those before you even go near a PhD position.
A PhD will seriosuly stress your mental health and if you are already in trouble in that respect it could be disastrous for you.

As an aside, unless you went to Oxford or Cambridge there really is no such thing as a "very good university". Industry generally doesnt care where people get their degrees from. It is usually always about the person themselves. If you are struggling to get work it will almost always be possible to fix that by focussing on your CV, the skills you can sell and your "presence" during an interview. I have yet to meet a graduate struggling to get a job where I cannot immediately tell why they should be struggling within minutes of meeting them.

Really I should try and think of a way of making money by offering people a "job readiness" analysis service lol.

In my opinion it matters less where you study and more about what you do when you are there.
I would stop worrying about rankings and focus more on what each university can offer you while you are there.
You risk going into this with the wrong mindset.

The way to get it done is to mentally know what you want to do afterwards and to be more energised by that than the PhD.
That is what got me over the line.

There was a point when I remember feeling the same way as you. In fact I have had that periodically throughout my career when coming to the end of a project. It was a fear that I would never again feel that level of intensity. I had come to be addicted to it. It is a very justified fear.

Now that I am self employed, however, I get all the intensity I want with full control over the level of it.

Cut the chord to your PhD and let go.

I worked with a woman with 2 kids who said she was essentially earning nothing because her entire wage was being eaten up in childcare.

I couldn't understand why they considered that money as coming from her salary and not jointly split between her and her husband.

In a surprising number of families, both the "partners" consider their earnings to be their own. Each to their own I suppose but in my house everything both of us earns goes into a single pot.

Therefore, when two amounts of childcare need to be paid for it is not my wife who is essentially paying "her whole salary" to pay for all this - the childcare is coming from the joint pot.

This is important because many women stop working because they think it isn't financially worth it. But you need to factor in whether a 3 to 5 year gap in your CV is going to be a problem. A continuous CV, in my opinion, has a financial value to it in itself.

Of course, childcare is expensive but it doesn't last forever. Once the kids are in school it largely stops.

Obviously some women (and some men too actually) prefer to stay at home for a few years looking after the kids, in which case that is fine.

Yeah I did Chemistry as well. I never believed that you could be a world expert in anything in just 3 years. It cannot be done. At that stage a PhD student has learned to be basically competent. You then have a lifetime to gain genuine expertise.
Therrefore, you would do well to shelf any unrealistic expectations and focus on submitting. The viva will be uncomfortable but it will end eventually and you will have corrections to do which will frame your remaining obligations.
You have a new job which is great and that is now way more important than your PhD.
You just have to get your head down and get submitted.
Wont be long before the viva is 6 months in the past.

You are welcome. This advice comes from personal experience so I know exactly what you are going through.
It is always good to talk to someone but formal therapy isnt usually helpful when you are feeling miserable or empty. In my opinion, the large increase in mental health problems is as a result of people forcing themselves to do things when every sinew of their being is telling them to do something else. The strange thing is that when people take a moment to be honest with themselves they largely know full well what they want to do but for some reason they persist in doing something else. It is a guaranteed way to have an utterly miserable life.

So what did I do?

I left permanent employment and academia after my PhD because both environments make me miserable. Instead I re-evaluated how much money i was prepared to live on and started my own leaflet distribution business to allow me to live. All my subsequent time is spent on am effort to build up skills in specific technical areas to give me a chance of creating a technical product or service. Within 6 weeks of leaving uni, I am now able to offer software design and programming skills and could start day trading in shares if I wanted to as I have taught myself enough accounts to understand what to do.

Money is very tight and there is no guarantee I will ever earn what I used to or even succeed in creating a product but life is absolutely great again and everyday I leap out of bed full of energy. The problem is my mother's constant negativity but I have learned to block her out.

So, instead of therapy I would urge everyone to listen to their bodies, obey what it is telling you, CHANGE what you are doing and give fewer fucks about what other people think. It is OK to have a PhD and deliver pizza leaflets for 10 hours a week and then to spend another 30 hours reading technical books for the love of it.

I would agree with thesisisfun under normal circumstances but only one of them can be correct for your usage and that is because you are combining with another study. You need to use exactly the same method they used or you will get bogus results.

OK first off, you really need to knock some of this stuff on the head, such as comments about your IQ etc. It's nonsense and you are using it as a weapon against yourself. Self flagellation isn't going to help you here - you will just drive yourself insane.

Not one of us on here has a different story to tell about how overwhelming our first few months are. Not one of us. Lonely, overwhelmed, feeling a bit shit, whatever - we have all been there. It would have been nice if someone had prepared us for this before we start so we know what to expect. The first sentence in the PhD acceptance letter should read "Welcome to Big Boy/Big Girl school. Buckle up and prepare to feel inadequate for the next 4 years".

Now for some constructive advice :-D
Before you even start talking about Python or R you need to understand what problems you are going to solve with them.
For that you need books on Bioinformatics and Statistics- particularly introductory level for both - I am sitting with a Stats book on my shelf called Introductory Statistics by Wonnacott.
There will probably be a key book or two for the discipline.
Read it and make sure you understand it.
Only then can you hope to follow literature papers.
Once you have both you can then start thinking about the tools you will use such as Python and R. In my opinion, this could easily be 3 to 6 months of work to get all of this onboard so you might want to get started on a plan.

By the way, I would ignore what your supervisor thinks right now. They have already failed in their basic duty of care over you by not providing exactly the advice I have given you above. That should have been the first thing you were told. Also, you are not there to write papers. You are there to master a discipline. It seems your supervisor doesn't even appreciate that either.