Sue2604 thanks a lot. I know every PhD experience is different but I am also sure that a serious PhD word requires a bigger effort in comparison to almost any job. You work just for yourself (and the advisor) and it doesn't make sense to undertake a PhD without trying to work very hard aiming to very good results. After that, a person can be lucky or not, but the success of a PhD is stricly related to the effort you put on it.
You sincerely described me your experience and it does scare me a bit. I don't know if I would be strong enough for that workload, and even considering to take 4 or 5 years instead of 3.5 to finish it (i don't know if u are in the US or UK system) I am sure the hours demand is still very very high.
I am dreaming how beautiful can be a job 9am-5pm in comparison to a situation like yours (i am taking you as an example but there are plenty of PhD doing that I guess). I respect the strength you put on your PhD, though. It sounds like you have done a great job and u love your subject. that's cool!

By the way, In 3 days I am leaving for the US (PhD in september) and this week I will know if I get the job in the satellite company.
I am still thinking about it.. oh god!

Thanks for your post, it helped.

jepsonclough you are right.
My hearth is not in the PhD. I wouldn't mind to try, I think I can do it, in a successful way too.
Based on what you say, it will be hard but I could have also a social life.
I am afraid of the workload and temped by the industrial job (not high salary but you can start your career and feel relaxed).
I also am tempted to go for the grad school because of my girlfriend, but what I have learnt in this forum is that this is not a good reason.
Many people say that if my hearth is not in the PhD I shouldn't go, it will be painful, and I am not a pain seeker. I would like to have my job, go home at 5/6pm, live during the weekend, have time for extra activities and so on.
I know the PhD can be very interesting (but also the job can be, in my opinion) but means also a lot of sacrifices. Uff..
I will flip a coin

Keenbean, thanks for your answer. I see you have clear in mind your goals and your career path as a professor, and that helps for sure.
I am still considering my future, and I see myself more likely working in industry after the PhD. Anyway, I take into account that I have to publish in journals and conferences even if I don't want to become a professor otherwise my PhD will be useless. Publications are probably the only objective method to evaluate a PhD after the student completed the program.

Anyway, there is one thing I don't understand. I understand you like what you are doing but .. would you like to work 8h per day instead of 9-10, and stay with your partner/family/friend a little bit more?
I probably don't understand it because I am not too passionate, as I tried to explain in my first post. My research ends up trying to outperforms results obtain by other research group. I am not gonna save life or discovery something new, it is "just" engineering, try to improve things and obtain better perfomance.
I don't feel romance in it. It is just an interesting job (much better than many job out there).

The point is that, even if I like what I do, if I work 10h per day, I will end up hating it. I guess. I am not sure yet, just trying to figure it out.
Anyway writing things down help for a better evaluation.

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Hello guys. You don't know me but I have been reading this forum since I accepted a PhD offer, and I very liked it. This is my first post.

I am suppose to start in Sep for PhD in Eng in New York (NYU-Poly) with RA.
I have accepted the offer in April. I am quite a good student (not a genius but I used to struggle until I achieved my goals), I think I like the topic (cooperative networks, MAC algorithm, etc..), and I have an American girlfriend (I met her during an MS in USA) that is looking for a job in NYC just to continue our relationship (otherwise impossible). These are the reasons I accepted. I have been thinking about a PhD for many months but I can't say it is the goal of my life. I like interesting (aka new) problems, but it is not like the feeling you have with "I want to fight the cancer".

In the mean time I have applied for few but good jobs here in Italy. At the end of July I will receive an answer about a quite good job in Rome (management/eng for a satellite company).

What scares me about the PhD is that I remember how I was during my Master thesis due to deadlines: I didn't have time (or very very limited) for friends, I stayed in lab until very late, I woke up early every morning, I ate bad and quick food, I didn't have time for sport and, moreover, I was jealous of friends of mine with a lower work load. I am scared my life will be like that forever.
I can understand my first year will be difficult (courses again, qualifying exam, first draft etc..) but I am scared the researcher life is something close to it. Strict deadlines, a lot of very hard work (more than a job), competition to the highest level, and very very few free period and limited free time. Is it like that?

I don't want to live for my job, I would like to work for living!

I have never worked for real yet (this is a drawback of the italian system) but I see a job as an easier choice. There are exception but you will be working for 8 h per day and you can go home, have your own schedule, free on weekends, and u can grown inside the company.
I don't know the detail of the job in Rome (the company trains new grad and there are many different positions), but I think i can cope with those kind of jobs and start my career without any problem, I am confident I can do it.
On the other side, I am aware the PhD is very difficult, and I am worried I am not good enough, or it will take too long.

I wouldn't mind a tenure job but it is not my final goal. I think I would like research but I am afraid is an hard life. I am open to many career path like engineer project manager but, as you can understand, I am a bit confused.

What is your opinion and experience about PhD life? Do you have time for a life out of the lab? Thanks and good luck for everything.