Thank you for all the encouraging and thoughtful comments.

Bonzo - I think it's my topic more than money that is making me sad.
I chose this topic because of the new instruments being built. However, I have come to realise I can't fit my phd into the timeline of new instruments. So I have started doing something related but not exactly. And my sup is basically forcing me to write a paper on his pet topic. I agree with you a phd should be about imposing my own ideas into my work but at the moment I feel like I am not doing that.

As for money, it's more the uncertainty around what to do after a phd that is bothering me. I am on a reasonable scholarship so I can scrap through for now. If I am really enjoying my work, then I don't think money would be such an issue. But it's just that I feel like phd is too much like work (ie. dread getting up to go to work each morning) that I am questioning why I am here. I could easily go back to my old job and be making a lot more money.

I still want to get a phd, but maybe just on something else. Something that I can feel really excited about and want to work day and night on. I just don't know what that could be and I feel like I am running out of time..

Hi all,

I am a first year phd student in astronomy - about 8 months in.
Being a scientist has been my childhood dream. But somehow I am just not as into it as I thought I would be. I came back to study after a few years in industry because I feel like I couldn't go through life without trying to be a scientist. It's so hard to live on a phd stipend whilst doing something no one really cares about. I think it is partly my topic - it's just not that interesting. But it's also me - I am not digging deep enough into it. I imagined I would be really passionate about my research and would not care about living near the poverty line - but the reality is that I miss having a normal salary.

I haven't done anything over the last 3 weeks. I have this nagging voice in my head telling me this phd is such a drag and none of it is interesting at all. However, quitting now would mean I waste a year of my life. Plus I have no idea what else to do. I feel like I am drifting and I have no idea what to do with my career. Even if I continue with my phd I wouldn't want to be an academic anyway (which would mean my phd would be pretty much useless career-wise).

Has anyone experienced the same feelings? What should I do?? (I know no one can tell me what to do, but I just feel so lost and depressed at the moment any suggestions would be welcome)