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How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?
It sounds like both you and your supervisor are taking this way too seriously. It's only a conference. A mistake was made. Get over it. No need for embarassment, lengthy apologies, beating yourselves up or pledges to "do better next time".
If this type of utterly trivial incident affects you this much you risk having serious issues when a genuine problem occurs.
Relax bud. Mistakes happen.
@pm133, I am sure you're right but I guess the beginning is the hardest since I still have not figured my way around things and people. But I should definitely learn to take these things easier otherwise I will go nuts by the end of the PhD. You're right. That's why this forum is so helpful.
How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?
Ps. Make a point of listing your achievements - no matter how small they may be! And remember that what you currently count as failures are actually learning opportunities, if you'll treat them as such.
Re your supervisor's embarrassment - that's something he'll have to get over!
Keep on smiling : )
@Tudor_Queen, thanks so much for your words. In times like these when you think that you've failed and you're not good enough - it is refreshing and very helpful to read what you wrote. Thanks a lot!
How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?
I would say that this is all a part of being a PhD student! Do t worry about it! I messed up a similar proposal where the head of dept was on the panel and as a result my supervisor got a lot of stick. So what did we do, worked on a proposal together the next time around as a learning experience and won the funding!
@muspectrum, this makes me feel much better - thank you so much.
How to deal with day to day failures during a PhD?
So, I am a first year PhD student and I am far from perfect or knowing it all. I am just figuring things along the way. Anyway, I am working hard in order to improve and learn things of course. But, sometimes that's not enough right? So I happened to make a slip and apply for a small grant (for attending a conference) without being eligible for it. My supervisor told me today that he felt embarrassed that we applied for it without being eligible. The ineligibility consisted on a detail. Nevertheless I had my doubts when I saw the eligibility criteria but still didn't say anything to my supervisor.
Now, I can try and complain about it and find a million reasons why "it was not my fault" but the truth is I made a mistake. I failed. And I have to admit it and learn from it. So I told my supervisor that he's right and that I only made that mistake because my approach during these 6 months of PhD has been very much reactive rather than initiating things. And that's wrong. I told him that because I was trying not to bother him and please him by mostly saying YES, I forgot what was important - MY STANCE ON THINGS. So I apologized and reassured him that my approach will be much different from now on. He admitted that it was not only my fault but that he being a member of the board granting this grant should have known that I am not eligible and should have told me.
So I guess my question is - have you had these kinds of failures and if yes how do you deal with them? I will admit that it doesn't feel good to know that you've screwed up on your first year of the PhD but on the other hand I feel good knowing that eventhough I feel like shit, I am trying to learn from my mistakes and I know I will work hard on this regard.
Overthinking while doing a PhD. Is there a solution for this?
Hey Pjlu and Tudor Queen. Thank you so much for your valuable insight and for actually telling me about CBTh. I will definitely check it out and see if it helps. The thing is - I still can control it but I can tell that it is getting worse and that's why I want to prevent overthinking from taking over my life.
Kahn - I know what you mean. I am not that bad with writing emails myself, I am worse when it comes to interpreting the tone with which emails sent to me were written. It's so tiring - I know.
Overthinking while doing a PhD. Is there a solution for this?
Hey everyone,
I am a first year PhD student (approaching the end of the first year) and I have been going through all the matters of having proposal accepted by the commission, going back and forth with addressing comments and re-submitting it. Then, of course doing literature review, familiarising myself with the topic better - while at the same time grading students exams and papers and helping my supervisor with teaching duties.
I can say that my PhD is going well so far. I get annoyed with my supervisor and the fact that he changes whatever I write into his own style of wording (we're talking only about the proposal) but I have decided to not make a big deal out of it while it is only the proposal he is dealing with. Once I start writing my thesis, or articles - if he continues changing everything then I will have an open and sincere talk with him and tell him how that makes me feel. The problem is that he doesn't change the substance, just the wording of my paragraphs.
Anyway, throughout all this I cannot help but overthink it all. I overthink and obsess about the tiniest issues. If my supervisor writes me an email and I feel like he was angry I start overthinking about any possible reasons that I might have caused him to be mad. I also think more than I should about how my supervisor feels about me, and what the other supervisors think about me. Do they think I am good enough? Maybe they laugh about me behind my back? Maybe they've never seen a worse PhD student? All of this. And I know that most of it doesn't even make sense because I am a hardworker and I am very committed.
It's just that overthinking is killing me slowly - I can tell. And I was just wondering have you guys ever been there, and if yes - how have you dealt with it? Did you find any solutions? Thanks a lot :)
Stop with my PhD. Unsure how.
I think the best thing you can do now is talk it out with your supervisor. It is apparent to me that you want to do the PhD and you are a dedicated person. But due to circumstances out of your reach you are being forced to take this decision. Hence, I think you should talk with your supervisor and discuss it with him/her and reach a solution together maybe? Because I doubt it is in his/her interest to lose you either. Two minds always work better than one, so give it a shot. There's nothing to lose by talking it with the person closest to you during this journey.
Good luck.
Examiner Disagreement
Congratulations faded!!!! This is so amazing. I have been following your situation and I am so happy for you. Now chill and enjoy it properly. Woooohooooooo :D
Supervisors and feedback
[quote]Quote From skyisnotthelimit:
[quote]Quote From pm133:
I
In fairness my situation is not too common. Being a lot older I knew exactly what skills I wanted to achieve during the PhD and I really only wanted pointers from my supervisor. When I was 21 I dont think I could have succeeded in this way. Now I am using the PhD to prove to myself I can become almost completely independent. I found that in reality I need specific types of support and for that support to be given in specific ways. Found out a huge amount about myself. It has been quite a journey and I wouldnt change any of it. You will have your own set of skills you want to have by the end. As long as you get most or all of them you will be fine. It is good that you care. Dont underestimate the importance of that. It means you are trying to self improve. If the feedback is varied then this is excellent. If the feedback starts to tail off once you start getting published then this is brilliant. Just play it by ear and see where it goes. There will come a time when you care less about your supervisors feedback and start to realise that you are capable of assessing your own performance. When your own assessment starts to match that of your supervisor then you will be ready to graduate.
pm 133 - this is such a great advice. I will save this post and read it when I am having doubts. thank you. all the best to you :)
Can anyone help me with research methodology please??!
Hey SakuraM. Tell us more about what you want to do, which angle do you want to cover, what do you want to focus on? things like that. because with what you have written it is a bit difficult to understand what you want to do and as such recommend any research method.
Hello skyisnotthelimit and thanks for the post!
Well, this is still a bit tentative as I am not 100% settled on the exact angle but in a nutshell what I want to do is explore the role of the UK in the current situation in the Mideast post-9/11/War on Iraq/ "Arab Spring". I'll have to revisit the history of the two entities since Britain's involvement in that region at the end of the 19th century/ beginning of the 20th and the impact of its doings then on the current situation. It involves international relations/ politics/ geostrategy, etc. I hope what I wrote makes sense.
Thanks in advance for any help!
Hey SakuraM. That is a very interesting topic. From what I see, in terms of methodology it can depend on whether you're more familiar with qualitative or quantitative methods. OR both. IT would be ideal if you could go for a mixed methodology involving:
a. literature review (that would enable you to revisit the history of the two entities)
b. in-depth interviews with stakeholders for example politicians, experts of international relations etc.
c. a survey to measure the perceptions of people about UK's role in the mentioned situation. That can enrich your research greatly. a survey always does - I think.
Good luck :)
Survey for survey please
done
Can anyone help me with research methodology please??!
Hey SakuraM. Tell us more about what you want to do, which angle do you want to cover, what do you want to focus on? things like that. because with what you have written it is a bit difficult to understand what you want to do and as such recommend any research method.
Supervisors and feedback
I send updates from time to time to my supervisor but it's out of courtesy to keep him up to date. I don't expect a resonse and I don't get one. If I have a specific issue I request a face to face meeting which both of us prefer but that is pretty rare. Things have changed in the last few weeks now that I've had feedback on my thesis draft and we've met more often as he remembers things that I should add or change. The whole PhD has been largely hands off supervision though and that's how I personally prefer it. Just need to dig myself out of the pile of crap I have landed myself in with some changes I put in this week and then I can relax a bit.......
I would definitely expect more supervision at your stage of your PhD though and it sounds like you are getting it.
Yes that sounds familiar. Some friends of mine doing their PhDs have a similar experience. Not me though. It seems like maybe because it is the beginning - my supervisors are really involved. Which is great because I am also at the learning stage myself. But sometimes it makes me wonder if I am not good enough and that's why they're always giving feedback? But then again the feedback is never the same, it is always something they want to add or remove so I guess that's ok. Especially after reading here that it is such a common experience - I feel better :)
Supervisors and feedback
Have had barely any feedback. Wonder if they read it at times!
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope it's not because they don't read it but because you're just that good :)
Supervisors and feedback
that is great to hear, thanks.
