When I told my supervisor that I was going to be away for a bit to attend my grandfather's funeral he said, "your PhD is more important than life or death"

When I tried to explain the 'wider relevance' (don't we all hate that phrase!?) of my research about a year he simply burst out laughing.

In response to my most recent chapter he simply asked me, "were you tired when you wrote this?"

Don't think he's going to be top of my christmas card list this year!