Postdoc-Supervisor relationship problems

S

Hey, fellow PhDs and Postdocs,

I've just gotten out of my first postdoc, short and tragically. The cause is my supervisor.

My supervisor somehow holds a grudge against me since the very first day we met. And his critics are not always about work: he warned me not to speak to some other PhDs next door, he accused me for "wanting to leave" if I don't smile while working in the lab... There was a time, 6pm, I was sitting in the corridor reading my lab note, he saw me and asked why I wasn't in my office and forced me to name a thing or a person in the office that I hate... I was shocked. I don't hate anything or anyone in that office, I was just taking a break outside -- it's afterwork time after all. Then my boss started to name the things and the people one by one: "you hate the desk?, No? the lamp? or the shelf? No? Okay, so you hate Mike? or John? ..." I felt helpless to end this conversation unless I name something, so I said: "The chair is not very comfortable." My boss appeared satisfied and said: "Okay, so it's the chair then." The next day he came to my office adjusting the chair for half an hour, then the following day he came over and asked me to switch office with one of his PhD students. I have no idea what was going on with him but just did what he asked.

This kind of things kept going on and finally he exploded and threatened me to resign. And the worst part is, he threatened me by locking me up in his office and wouldn't release me unless I sign the letter that he wrote for me to quit. (continue...)

S

By that time, I've been working and interacting with many different people, other professors, colleagues, engineers or just the cleaners. (PS: I do science so just picture the labs...) I have no problems with any of them, and I actually made friends with guys in the other lab -- those my boss "forbid" me to interact with. I got to know that my boss used to "steal" results from them (they shared a lab before) until my boss left them and formed a new group. No wonder he doesn't like me to talk to those guys.

I tried to talk to the head of the institute and the HR, but they couldn't help much. My boss is a junior professor and the funding is from a third party. He alone decides how it is used. PS: he is Italian, flashes of The Godfather cross my head all the time...

Anyway, I ended up been threatened and jobless. I'm thinking about the next step:
1. Doing another PhD;
2. Continue postdoc -- hoping the new supervisor is a good one;
3. Quit academy and get some job;

For 1. I'm thinking of moving to a different area. But I've already had this postdoc experience, what are the odds that I can start over?
For 2. It seems the most possible one, what should I say about the past experience if they ask during the interview?
I hope 3. stays as backup plans forever.

And another thing, I've known that the supervisors can be harsh, especially on postdocs, but isn't it a bit too much? I wonder what to do in this situation? What if I'll meet this type again? Is it possible to convince him that I'm just trying to do my job.

Thank you guys very much, some suggestions would really help.

D

And the worst part is, he threatened me by locking me up in his office and wouldn't release me unless I sign the letter that he wrote for me to quit.


Why didn't you call the police????

No, this behaviour is not common in the workplace, academic or domestic environment. This is abuse.

S

Quote From DrJeckyll:


Why didn't you call the police????

No, this behaviour is not common in the workplace, academic or domestic environment. This is abuse.


I tried to contact the HR and the legal issue apartment, they said I need evidence or witness, and since it is not really a "harassment", the best they can offer is to "investigate it" as to give me one month time to leave...

What made me give up eventually is that the Head of the institute talked to me, he said sorry but my boss has a 5 year funding source from outside, while I'm just a newbie here, he can only choose one. -- He made his side so clear, I felt helpless.

My boss even came to me and said he was "trying to protect" me and I better "take the chance" to quit on my own.

Avatar for Mackem_Beefy

Sieajiang,

You could be writing the experience of my second post-doc, the exception being that I was able (and had no other choice but to) see the second post-doc period out. After a good PhD and first post-doc at my PhD University, I chose a second post-doc at another Uni. It was clear from my first meeting on starting the Prof. hadn't wanted to employ me. "A stop gap measure", "Very much a second choice" and "We'll just have to make do" were remarks made about me during that meeting with this Prof., the girl who was to be my (de)mentor and myself present. He'd only met me once previously for a half hour interview and if that's what he thought why did he employ me?

Suffice to say it was a rough year and I made mistakes because I didn't know where I stood with people. I twice nearly quit, but had to see out my contract simply because I would not be entitled to "Job seeker's allowance" if I did. I left without a reference (bar bland statement I'd been employed by said Uni. from Human Resources) and it took me a year to find a non-Uni. job after I left. Thirteen years previous good employment (including PhD) record gone just like that.

I considered various options including a Harassment and Attempted Constructive Dismissal action, however, I also needed witnesses (one person had previously left under similar circumstances, but they had to withdraw their case) and although I had my notes (effectively a diary of events) it was my word against theirs. Universities close ranks to protect their own and anyone attempting action is wasting their time and making it worse for themselves as regards future employment. Supervisors and senior academics are seldom accountable to anyone.

I suggest options 2) (new post-doc elsewhere) or 3) (non-Uni. job) above and just move on. Don't do 1), you've already a PhD = overqualified tag.

My sympathies,

Ian

S

Lan,

That's life, isn't it. My sympathies to you, too.
I'm happy for you that you've come over that phase and found the non-Uni job. Hope you're doing well at your new job.

I too submitted a note describing the threatening but it didn't make any difference. Apart from the mess, this is in a foreign country (Switzerland), the institute head even tried to keep my month shut to the HR. The reason he gave me is that the HR won't tell the Immigration office so I can stay for a while looking for jobs. He even offered to avoid the secretary so no one else could know... It sounded attempting, I nearly fell for it but I chose to talk to the HR and tell the Immigration office. I end up out of the country jobless but I feel it was the best decision I've ever made. I didn't lie or violate the law (even when under pressure and enticement), I chose to be honest and be true to myself.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and your suggestions, it feels so much better to be understood.

Cheers,

Sieajiang

H

My suggestion is to offer passive resistance.

Continue with your work. Ignore EVERYTHING he tries to do to harass you.

You failed by answering his question "What do you hate?".

Answer "I hate nothing".

Wait until he makes a massive mistake.

Do not let him win. He is a bully and a bad person.

You are in the right, he is in the wrong.

Stand up to him.

H

He is trying to impose psychological torture on you to force you to quit.

You know what he wants so you have power over him.

DO NOT QUIT.

He has no power over you.

As long as you don't quit you are winning.

Psychological torture is against the law.

Film him doing what he is doing, record him on your phone speaking to you the way he does, do all the things he doesn't want you to do.

After you have finished your postdoc you can put these films on youtube.

Who is the winner now.

Learn his plan and come up with a better one.

Make friends with everybody... get them to help you build up a portfolio of evidence that you are brilliant at your job.

I have been through something similar in a professional workplace.

Know this YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM AND GOD WILL PUNISH HIM.

S

Huxley,

Thank you very much for your encouraging post!
You are right, I was so weak at that time... I wish I were brave as you are!

I've thought about resistance and kept working on for about 3 weeks. But in the end, even the head of the institute was trying to talk me out of this.

Shame that I didn't film the threatening because I was unprepared, I thought it was a meeting or something, didn't see that coming at all. When we had a meeting with the bigger bosses, he tried to accuse me but couldn't even make a clear argument until one of the bosses got bored of his pointless details about my "bad behaviours". He was frustrated after that but he somehow managed to "buy" the head of the institute over. I was just a new postdoc there, only a superhero or a miracle can save me.

I did what I could, apart from all that, I made friends with almost everyone else, I worked with the engineers, who hated and have rejected working for my boss long before I came. But they're willing to work with me, guess that's a solid proof.

It's really a soul crushing experience, I nearly started doubting myself: Am I wrong? maybe being nice isn't a valid way to move up in academia? maybe I should push others just like what he does?

I should thank you again for your last sentence in capital, I may not be as powerful as he is at the moment (despite the fact that I'm 12 years younger than him) but I'm a better person and I hope GOD will punish him hard!

K

The best way to approach a bully is to bully back. Go to his office and yell at him for being such a disrespectful bully. Make sure you raise your voice loud enough so other people in the floor would hear you shouting at him. Do not worry, the more arrogant the bully is (which is your case, he is extremely arrogent) the more coward they are. When you are yelling at him, make sure you mention reporting him to the HR or even police if he disrespects you again. For god-sake, you have a PhD, standup for yourself.

S

Quote From KimWipes:
The best way to approach a bully is to bully back. Go to his office and yell at him for being such a disrespectful bully. Make sure you raise your voice loud enough so other people in the floor would hear you shouting at him. Do not worry, the more arrogant the bully is (which is your case, he is extremely arrogent) the more coward they are. When you are yelling at him, make sure you mention reporting him to the HR or even police if he disrespects you again. For god-sake, you have a PhD, standup for yourself.

It's extremely difficult when this bully is my direct boss, can't avoid it or fight it. It ends either way: he fires me or I quit.
I do wish to know how to alter this situation, especially with a coward and bully who has a twisted mind.

H

sieajiang:


You are NOT weak. His bullying is telling you that you are weak. You are NOT.

Who cares if the head of the institute is trying to talk you out of it. He is wrong too.

You are the superhero that can save yourself. Collate evidence of his bullying. Stand up to him. Get other post-docs to evaluate your practice, give them written feedback forms to fill out for you on what you have done and your contribution to the team. Get them to write down statements about how they have been treated. You need bargaining power.

It's not about being nice, it's about leverage and power.

He has a lot of power because he is winning funding. You can win leverage when you have a portfolio of evidence you are doing your job right especially feedback from other members of the team and their statements of what is going on.

Your boss is displaying psychopathic tendencies because he has a very strong desire to control the work being done. He is under a lot of pressure to produce results. You have to produce results at the same time as proving to him your worth as a person. This involves playing him at his own game. You need leverage.

Get results and get evidence of good practice. Are you a member of a Union? What support services are available?

Sorry it has taken so long for me to get back to you on this I have been really busy with interviews, writing assignments and organising conferences.

You are every bit as brave as me. I went through something similar in one of my professional workspaces where I was being bullied by a very powerful boss. I built up masses of evidence that I was doing my job properly and reported him to the union who backed me up. It was taken to a tribunal and all 13 of the professionals on the tribunal panel voted in favour of me and he was disgraced.

You have done very well making friends with everyone, you need as many people on side as possible. He has a weakness. He is trying to keep the teams apart. Capitalise on this and build up a forum of support. Support each other. Chat, get evidence.

You are a better person than him. I feel your pain it is soul destroying to be tortured by another human being who you just want to get along with so you can get the job done. Some people are so selfish they are evil. This man is one of them. Trust me.

H

Everything I have said is based on my experiences in Britain.

It has just ocurred to me that you are probably in the US, and it seems things are a lot harder there according to the following article. I am absolutely shocked at how little is done for victims of bullying in the US by employers, the legal system and unions. It is absolutely shocking and totally reprehensible.


According to the article:

"The bottom line is that if you’re being bullied at work, and your employer isn’t doing anything about it, “you owe it to yourself to do what you can to try and stop it,” Teach adds. “If you fail, you should give yourself credit for at least trying to improve the situation. At that point, you have the choice to stay or leave. You should make the decision that’s best for you.”

T

Quote From Huxley:
. I am absolutely shocked at how little is done for victims of bullying in the US by employers, the legal system and unions. It is absolutely shocking and totally reprehensible.”


Yep, it's a totally different system and mindset out here.

S

Huxley,

So glad to see your reply!
I can tell that you've been there, too. I'm really happy for you that you're out of this and moving to a better phase, it's good to have something to keep you busy :)


Your boss is displaying psychopathic tendencies because he has a very strong desire to control the work being done. He is under a lot of pressure to produce results. You have to produce results at the same time as proving to him your worth as a person. This involves playing him at his own game. You need leverage.

That's very very true. There was a time when I sensed his anger, I told him that I understood his pressure and it's the result that we both wanted. He seemed agreed and even shook my hand.

I thought we were okay after that conversation but he started to make assumptions based on trivial things or words, like "you didn't smile during the meeting means that you showed no interest in your work...", "the equipment supplier hasn't reply us means that you lied to me... "

By the way, he is Italian, for a while I thought maybe it's the culture or the language, seems that it's not.

Another thing is, I was there for only 6 weeks when my boss threatened me. It's hard to judge anything in such a short time, all of his accusations seemed to be his own imagination. It's equally hard for me to gather evidence or seek support. Nobody knows me well enough in 6 weeks. I kept working and fighting for another 8 weeks, worked with the engineers and other staff, tried many consultancies...

I have the knowledge of him but I failed at playing his game.

32897