Signup date: 02 Sep 2007 at 4:34pm
Last login: 02 Jun 2011 at 1:49pm
Post count: 344
Am soooooo tired!!! had surgery end of Jan, then moved house after searching for about 6 weeks – last week on Tuesday,( was obviously looking for something cheap!). Place was not in the best of condition- had to remove wall paper and paint. After wards my computer started playing up, making some funny noise (my friend asked the other day on the phone- what’s that which sounds like a boat engine in the background!) we had a good laugh when I told her it was the computer (got someone to have a look & they couldn’t figure out the prob- anyone out there who knows what it may be?). For wanting colour to cheer me up I had asked my brother to spray paint my lap top for me then his house was broken into and the laptop was stolen among his other things. the lap top wasn’t insured. am too broke to buy a new one. at the same time I cant sit on the desk top one cause the sound gives me a headache. I have since resorted to coming campus so that I can just use a computer in peace.
I would say by the time you get yourself sucked up in the PhD it will not matter where you are doing it. (just wait till you are in there). For some reasons supervisors at non red brick universities tend to be very humane and a little more helpful. Yes snobbery does exist but if you do a good work it will speak for you. At least you have the dosh to get going!
As for your boyfriend I think you need to tell him how you feel and why, you need to be understood and being concerned about you is part of that. If he doesn’t get it you may need to reconsider the relationship. Talk to your parents and explain your set backs in the language they can understand. Am sure they understand. Once you have reflected and communicated I think you will feel better to return to your thesis once more. It’s important that you deal with these things which seem peripheral because they are actually not.
In hope.
Hi Jojo
Please don't be so hard on yourself. It’s not all the time when things go as planned. I had surgery three weeks ago and I thought after two weeks I should be back on the roll, but it’s now three weeks that I have just started to feel my normal self again. I haven’t done much as you can imagine. Just when I thought I can now get back to my books, landlord announces sale of the house. The house is already sold (we knew it was coming though not as quick) so now instead of reading am now looking for a place to stay cause I have to be out in 5 weeks! And I can imagine it will take some weeks to find a place I like and settle. All am saying to you is that we are not always in control as much as we would like to be. I think you have to reflect on things .i.e. what made you unwell- was it something you could have avoided, if yes then take effective measures for the better.
Thanx Smilodon for your response. Yes mild pain killers do help esp when going to bed. I think u are right about the depression bit. i feel a combination of things; a mixture of guilt for not doing my research and not going to work accompanied by a sense of futility. sometimes i get up in a good mood and make an attempt to read or something but then something small just steals the good mood. I hope this will soon pass and am planning to go see another GP as there are several within the practice.
Had surgery two weeks ago for the removal of 2 big lumps on my breast and waist under General anaesthetic. initially I thought two weeks should do the trick, but alas, am still struggling for normalcy. I have not been going to work and i can't even bring myself to read even in bed; can't sleep on both my sides and now my back aches. As you can imagine my thesis is on hold. Consultant says it could take another two weeks to recover! Is this the normal time frame? GP was acting all grumpy when I was asking about the time frame; saying "u can go back to your books in the library tommorow if you like! it can take you 6 weeks, 4 weeks, bla, bla" Has anyone had a similar experience and if so how long did it take you to be back the roll? another thing i feel bad about not going to work ( I teach in FE part time), cause my students are a little bit behind.
For a while I had thought if I leave the relationship I would soon have more time for the research, but then boy was I so mistaken because I spent a lot of time trying to get over it. Am still recovering though I keep wondering if our deep talks (with ex) are helping or hindering my healing process. These days I set goals for myself; get out of bed when the clock goes off, go to the library and work. Allow yourself time to heal, don't be too hard on yourself, things will get better with time.
So hear you pineapple. Just to let you know that you are not alone in this. I recently split up with my boyfriend and I found doing everything else to do with the PhD really hard. I literally had to force myself to do stuff like going to the library, I think for a little while I hid myself in my books though I really struggled with going to work; had to stand in front of my students looking as miserable and spent (tried hard to be cheerful). Then after a little while it actually got worse (I suppose then I started dealing with it) lost loads of weight as I wasn't eating enough plus the stress.
by the way check this out for voluntary work! http://www.clementjames.co.uk/project/iu.htm
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