Both of you are right when you say I sound unstable. I am unable to analyze the decision rationally and hence the post.

But I dont consider Phd to be a magical escape. I do have other opportunities like another non-sales job if all I wanted was an escape. But valid point. I really want to do a Phd and it may sound flimsy but I value all the knowledge and rigor. That is the reason I have been preparing for it by reading for whatever time I get in the evenings.

My worry is only my family and my age. In India people my age look at their bank balances as a measure of success and I will not be surprised if I am chided for undertaking this "foolish" adventure and forgoing all the dough I can add to my awful bank balance. A colleague was poiting out that I got promoted last year have finally reached a level where I can start saving and investing some money. I am in this trap for the last 10 years and want to get out of it. I am also worried out Phd turning out to be dissapointingly banal as I have very high regard for academicians. I have a masters in management studies.

I thank you all for your kind help. Going with it.

Applying to TA/RA positions at institutions. I have some references from friends who have done or are doing their doctoral. I am told that it adds tremendous advantage to your application. Is it true?

Thank you for your response Tudor_Queen.

Hugh, the primary reason I want to do PhD is to become an academician and carve out a teaching career. Also I value knowledge and I want to be able to read and write equally well.

Hi,

I am 34, and have been contemplating a doctoral in management for at least 10 years now. I am prepared to handle the academic rigor and competition to get in.

The only question I am grappling with is if it is too late now. 10 years of sales job can make you dull and moronic. I hate my job. My interest lies in critiquing the existing paradigms and thoughts abou poverty alleviation. I have been reading and thinking about it for sometime. I have one more year of intense reading and test writing ahead of me before I write my sops and intent.

Also, I have a family and hate to admit that I am financially unstable. I feel like I may end up compromising my kids education. My coworkers look at me as if I have gone insane while I express my desire to leave a moderately well paying job and prepare myself for it this year. Without funding, I cant get through this.

But supposedly I get all that, is it worth putting your family through this? While I spend the 4-5 years abusing and training my dull faculties, my family will be surviving on the paltry savings I have.

I am from India, and will be applying to US for Fall 2017 admissions. I'll be 35 by then!

Looking for some kind advice and hopefully some personal experience sharing.

Be gentle. And tell me that "money is only important to some extent. You will start earning post Phd. Many have seen worse. That, and to end this perpetual cycle of guilt and self doubt. Grow a pair. By the time you will be 40, you will feel twice as miserable if you dont get through this. You will ruin yourself."

Or whatever you feel is right. I am in perpetual agony.


Thanks.