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I'm in trouble

Florence this sounds a lot like me. I really recommend seeing a G.P and/or a psychologist. Doing a PhD with depression is very difficult; low motivation, constant feeling of guilt everyday, feeling behind which only makes you feel more guilty, stressed, less motivated and ultimately more down. I also find myself sleeping much too much and at the moment not doing any work at all. It's a vicious cycle.

I can relate to your feelings of desperation, sometimes I think that if I just quit this stupid degree I would be a lot happier and the depression will go away. But that's probably not realistic, I guess I would feel better for a few weeks and then feel really bad for quitting.

I just hope that I will get there eventually - you've only been off since July, which is barely anything and very much recoverable. A lot of people take time away for longer than this.

Remember that you are not alone! If you had any other kind of illness you would see a doctor, and this is no exception. No wonder you are feeling so low - you're not eating or sleeping! I hope that once you get some help you will slowly start to feel better.