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Considering having a baby ...

M

Hello Everyone,

I am currently in my 1st year (PhD in foreign language) and I'll be 26 years old this year. With my boyfriend, we have been considering having a baby for more than one year now ... Doing a PhD was not at all planned, I just found last June an offer for a scholarship (for a native speaker) to do this PhD on internet, thought I would have a go with a project proposal, went to the interview and passed it ! So here we are in the UK now .... with a new project : the PhD.
But our "old" project (the baby) is still here ...
But I am really worried, I am afraid that it might not be the right time to have a baby .... (but then, it is always 'not the right time' ... 2 years ago I was doing my Master's degree, then I had my 1st real job last year as a teacher and there again, it was not the right time ... and now the PhD ... which is going to last at least 3 years ....)

So what do you think ?
Would it be completely crazy to have a baby now ( well at the time maybe i'll be in my 2nd year) ?
What will happen to my scholarship ( a 3 year scholarship)?
Will I be able to get any kind of "maternity leave" ? But will I be considered as still doing my researches at that time ?
Is there any kind of financial help here in the UK for pregnant women ?

I am very confused ...

I hope you will be able to give me some advice.

Many thanks and best wishes with your PhD.

C

I had a baby at the beginning of my third year and I am due to submit by June. I think that you need to consider very carefully where are the sources that you need for your research. Do you need to travel to access libraries/ archives/ institutions? Having a baby is the most brilliant experience, but for what I could see among my colleagues, it is almost impossible to complete a PhD if you have a baby in your first year, with all the research to do.
I took a year off, and I am glad that I tried to work a bit during this time, because my baby is the "Idonotwanttosleep" type, and doing even the most simple task now that is growing is very difficult. I have very little help, and time is never enough. So it is doable, but it can be very stressful. Also, my Uni has recently changes the rules and with a very smart move they included the maternity leave as full time research period, literally leaving very little time should I need an extension. My advice would be: 1) do your research first; 2) consider the kind of help/ support that you would have; 3) take into account that it is going to be stressful for you, but also for the rest of the family. At 26 you are still young, and waiting for 2-3 years is not going to jeopardise your plans for a family. 

T

You have already had some good advice there but I would definitely emphasise finding out about childcare before you have a baby! I had two (twins) after my 1st year and have just gone back - it is HARD. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I am still not sure I will get through it!

H

Those of you that did have children and were on a funding council studentship, did you get any maternity pay?

D

My PhD is part-time (was working full time) and at 4 years (of 6) with all experimental data collected I had my first baby. I took four months off studying just because the sleep deprivation meant my brain was not functioning at a suitable level. I returned to my studies and spent most of the day looking after my baby and the naptimes plus my evenings studying. If you can afford full-time childcare or have an alternative option then you could go back full-time afterwards which would make studying easier. If not then studying will have to fit in around the baby. My hubby is very accomodating for me to study in the evening rather than spending time with him, but this is only for a short time before I complete, is your boyfriend willing to do this too? I would also say that there is considerable expense for bringing up babies and the associated childcare which needs to be thought about. I am not sure what maternity pay you would get as this depends on your funding etc. There is not that much financial support in the UK for having a baby. Also bear in mind that I also had a natural twin pregnancy so not all pregnancies will equate to one baby!

I think you need to seriously think about this before rushing to have a baby. You are young and have time to wait. It is extremely hard work to juggle the PhD and a family. I am lucky to have all of my data and analysis before babies arrived, if it had been before this I would probably not have continued.

D

======= Date Modified 09 Feb 2011 17:26:36 =======
Sorry, posted twice!!

P

My experience 27 years ago was that when I fell pregnant I was told to leave and it has taken me this long to take up a new subject and finally get to my third year again!! You won't have this problem now though (thank God for the Sex Discrimination Act).

It is hard having a baby and although I don't believe that a woman's brain suffers - as some people suggest - I think there will be plenty of other stuff to think about when you have a young one.  One of the problems with doing a PhD is trying to focus continually on a particular problem and if you have distractions this is very difficult. A baby is one big distraction.

You will probably get an extension of time if you need one but I doubt very much if you will get any financial help and you may lose your funding. PhD students have very little employment protection as they are not employees or workers under the legislation.

M

Thank you all for your advice. This is really helpful.
I was actually thinking the same but needed to be sure ....

My concern is that I rushed into this PhD that was not planned at all ...... I started a life as a teacher (last year), thought I would still be employed by now etc .... but now I am a student again and it makes things different ...

For my PhD, I won't really have "fieldwork" to do, I need to read and watch TV ;)
And my boyfriend is really wanting to look after the baby .... with been together for 10 years now, and we are feeling like "something" ( someone) is missing in our life now ...

but well, we'll see ...

Thank you all.

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