Hey guys. Since I began my PhD 7 months ago, I have changed. I very rarely socialize. I leave my phone off. I can't be asked to go out with friends. I only make time for my best friends whom I see once or twice a month although we're in touch on phone. I just feel so bad. I keep saying no when people ask me out. I keep avoiding people.

But I have no choice. I have deadlines and these people are not PhD students and most of the time I feel they don't understand me. Anybody with a similar experience?

trust me---you're Not alone! the same thing is happening to me..I used to be a huge socialite..now I sometimes feel like i'm becoming a loner. the work we do is so individual..I tried to combat it by goin to lunch weekly with two colleagues..it forces us to be social....and it helps

oh thanks it's such a relief to know you're like me.

I totally understand. I too have had a non-existent social life. I haven't found anyone in my department that I gel with, and it really gets me down some days. I wish I could find someone that I really related to, someone who shared similiar interests, thoughts and feelings. That person hasn't appeared yet! It can be quite disheartening when you look around and see other students hanging out and having a laugh. I sometimes think that if I had a few close PhD friends, my troubles wouldn't feel so heavy. You're not alone in feeling alone!

I wish I had a circle of PhD students as friends, but it seems like the cliques were formed early on in the year and there's no way in. I'm not really bothered, because I don't like group mentalities anyway, but it seems like it would lighten the monotony. I have a few acquaintances at the uni, but I only see them once a month or so.

Bellaz,

thanks for your reply. I, too, dislike groups. But, the problem is that I have a few very close friends who are around, who always call me and listen to me but the problem is I don't have time to even spend some decent time with them.

What year are you in?

That's normal... we only have very few hours left after working on our research, teaching, etc. I only manage to catch up with my friends during holidays...

Also, I think it's good to have a separate circle of frens outside the ones that you meet everyday- something that you already have!- Good for you!