I thank you all for your quick and detailed responses. Each input has helped me and calmed me down. I have not yet heard from my school. As soon as I know, I will update you guys.

Wish me luck.

Lots of love.

WanderingSage I like your idea. The idea of "retroactively" requesting an "interruption of studies". This is what it is called at my university. I don't know how this will play out. I may consider it. But I don't know as yet because I have not heard from my supervisor or the Registry. But also, if I am to apply for the "interruption of studies" retroactively for the academic year of 2009/2010, I had already paid fees for 2009/2010 and I don't know how that may make matters easier or more complicated. I can imagine the Registry forcing a penalty on me of having to repeat my year and thus exact from me a fee of 12,000 gbp because I am in International Student.

But I will consider this.

Actually, I do not understand her reluctance to be honest with the Registry and admit a mistake. I am. I really feel like emailing her and tell her that it is best we be honest: She gave me the okay to not be present in the university or the country and I have been gone since October 2009. I think this is much better than keeping information from the Registry or telling half truths.

Should I email her with this suggestion?

I think I want to be honest and honesty is the best policy.

Well I am panicking mainly as I have not heard from my supervisor who last week asked me to tell the Registry I was out of the country since February. But it is a lie because I have been gone before that, since October 2009 and she knew it. So I never mentioned anything of the sort to the Registry because it is a lie and I did not want to lie. I just never mentioned anything. But they found out somehow (partly my fault, slip of my tongue as I told them my supervisor gave me permission to be gone when I thought she'd already informed them).

I spoke to the International Office and really they did not give me any specific answers but rather generic answers.

I hope things go well... But you can't blame me for panicking.

Thanks though.

Please please please wish me luck...

You know, as far as my uk visa, I obviously did everything legally. I did not overstay my visa. The stamps are clear on my passport so as far as this is concerned, I am not in the wrong. But yes I think the university might be in trouble because of this. I am not sure whether the Registry where reassuring the UKBA every few months....

I really did not know about this and I am so shit scared of my degree being discontinued.

Do you work as a professor or do you know the politics of these matters? I mean if I cannot obtain a visa because my university will not sponsor me, what do I do if I need to visit my supervisor or attend my examination viva?

The other matter is... Do you think they may discontinue my degree just because I was not present at the university? Do you think I have put my supervisor in a difficult situation? I mean yes she gave me the okay to not be present but I had to literally insist on it for a month. But she agreed to let me off. I don't know who's responsibility this is and if it is mine or hers to have informed the Registry. I wonder if the Registry will let this pass for the excuse that me and my supervisor did not know any better.

God help me....

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======= Date Modified 11 09 2010 20:09:26 =======
I am in deep trouble. I am enrolled in a phd program in the history department. In my 3rd year (academic year of 2009/2010), I did not want to be in UK. I wanted to be back home and write my thesis and be in touch with my supervisor by emails. After much convincing, my supervisor she gave me the okay to not be present at the department.

However, now I have to go back to UK to enroll for an extra term to work with my supervisor to submit to her a *draft* of my thesis in December, which I was supposed to submit in September. I have been late and my work pace disappointing but this is for another post.

So I needed to apply for a visa (my visa expired since Feb 2010 and I was of the country before that anyways) and I contacted Registry for some papers! Somehow my Registry asked me where I was last year and I said abroad. They went crazy. It seems my supervisor was supposed to inform the Registry about my absence from the university while I was registered as a full-time student and I did not know it would be this serious. The Head of Registry, let's call him X, sent an email out to me, my supervisor and an Assiociate Dean of Research regarding my case. What's worse is that X thinks or is implying that I need an extension beyond the legal four years for phd submission, in my case September 2011. This is what complicates matters because I never implied so.

I am very scared they might discontinue my degree or make me repeat my third year. What should my course of action be?

I already emailed X and mentioned that I do not need an extension beyond my deadline of September 2011. I just need time until December to submit my *full draft* to my supervisor and this is something my supervisor and I had already discussed and agreed upon. However I mentioned nothing about my whereabouts as I am waiting to hear from my supervisor.

I am shitting it. Please words of advice!!!!

I really did not think my post would be received this way and in hindsight, I do apologize for not being considerate enough with regards to depression.

I really don't undermine that you are going through clinical depression. If anyone should understand what you may be going through, it is me. So I do apologize for that and I am sure you're not using that as an excuse.

What I do not and will not apologize for is the stuff I said regarding your man... I am sorry but I do not understand women or men who cannot get themselves together when their partner is obviously not worth it and not interested. It's almost over a year... For me, it's the idea that we are too precious and too special to be wasting our times, efforts, and emotions on ex-partners who do not deserve any bit of it. So for that, you don't have an excuse...

I don't know. Maybe I am harsh. But this is the advice I would have given anyone or any friend. I don't know how to give advice any other way and I don't know how to soften or sweeten my words. They are real and sometimes a bit strong. But my intentions come from a good place and self-righteousness and being patronizing is not what I want. Especially not in a virtual world like this.

If you people cannot take my opinion, it's up to you. I have the right to say what I am saying because I believe it's the truth. And if the moderators want to delete my posts, then go ahead.

Maybe this is what she needed to hear... I don't know.

Mlis, again I am sorry a million times for the things I said about your depression. I take that back in full and I wish you a recovery. I hope you find it in yourself to believe in yourself. It's not just the meds. You need to help the meds by helping yourself get better.

All the best.

I support Joyce 100%. Take the high road and work on building your academic future without all this anger you may be carrying for your supervisor and your university.

======= Date Modified 28 Oct 2009 15:50:07 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
I am going to give you tough love.

How could you allow yourself to lose funding, to lose time and effort, to lose morale, to lose your supervisor's respect, to lose your academic standing, to lose yourself JUST FOR A MAN WHO IS A ROYAL P***K.

Do you know how many PhD students would DREAM of getting funding and you just wasted it?

And HOW did you allow yourself to USE depression as an excuse to slack off for more than a year and a half? Trust me, I live with anxiety disorder everyday of my life and I still fight to get myself through the day. But I never allow myself to fail myself.

So HOW could you let YOURSELF DOWN using depression and a fiance who cheated on you as VALID EXCUSES?

So take your meds for depression. And get yourself together ASAP and get on to work. Do NOT any more time to waste.

SOON you will find that you are back on track. And when you do, NEVER allow ANYTHING or ANYONE or ANY MAN to do this to you.

My supervisor's awesome. But yeah I can feel the pressure more than ever now that I am in year 3. lol

I think that having the PhD will get you very far up the ranks in the sort of field you are interested in. Experience is very important but nowadays almost everyone is motivated and out there getting experience. And experience is something that is there whenever you decide to pursue it. But this PhD opportunity with funding is not always there. I'd say go on and try to work n a topic you are passionate about. This would give you an edge and an attestation to your expertise in the specific field you have dealt with. In addition, a PhD carries with it a certain element of respect and authority.

I don't know. I think a PhD is a great idea and it's not just limited to academia.

However if you don't like what you're doing at all then leave before it's too late. We're talking 3 years (and most times it drags into a 4th and 5th years) of being under the stress of research and deadlines. Sometimes you might get to a point where you feel demotivated. If you don't have that passion needed to get through, you'll probably fail and be miserable.

I love this forum a lot. It's quite helpful with all the different input one gets. I guess I'll have to think this out.

Hi.

I have an issue. Here's the deal.

I am a 3rd year PhD student at a good UK university.

Stanford extended an invitation to me for Visiting Researcher status. It all seems perfect. Stanford is an institution to hang on to. Plus my guy is there and it would be a good opportunity to combat long distance.

The problem is that I will be required to pay 3675 USD per quarter. And 800 USD for health insurance. I will be there for 2 quarters. This would amount upto around 9000 USD.

I think it's worth it to be able to put on my cv that I was a Visiting Researcher at Stanford. I might not get this opportunity this easily any other time as I might not find the professor to invite me to the department. As you know, in order to be eligible for visiting an institution, one must be sponsored by a member of the department.

Is it worth it?

I am a PhD student at a a TOP UK school, and very renowned in my subject. However, I agree with the person here who commented on how US PhD programs outshine the UK. Unless we're talking Cambridge, Oxford, LSE, UCL, Imperial, then forget the UK. I don't know about Rochester. Why don't you check the overall and subject rankings of US universities and see where Rochester figures. Also, do you wish to remain in the UK or the US? Which country do you prefer to live in or build a career in or even get practical experience from? In terms of work opportunities, each country has a set of immigration laws that may facilitate matters for students, especially PhD.

Finally, I advise US despite my alma matter being UK. I am a student of history so I speak for my field. Research, teaching, funding, programs in the US, especially at Ivy Leagues, are at a much higher standard.

======= Date Modified 06 Aug 2009 23:08:58 =======
I have read about this sort of feeling many places. It is quite natural for many phd students to feel this way. A fraud. Even I feel this way sometimes. It will wear out with time, experience, and getting into one's comfortable zone.

Best of luck for the postdoc. You have something that many others wish to have. Make the best out of it. And try to conceal your feelings. Always put up a confident front. It works. People love and are attracted to confidence. And suddenly, even if you screw up (which will happen from time to time taken you are human), it won't feel any bad.