Oh God - this thread totally speaks to me! At least we all feel ugly together :)
Only four months in and already I'm starting to feel dowdy...

I have definitely become flabby in areas I didn't think would get that way... I just turned 25 and have always been slim but the PhD is giving me quite a rounded bum! Also - my eyes are always so red every day from reading, and I've had to start wearing my glasses because my contacts were irritating my eyes - It's the first time I've worn my glasses properly (as in, in public) in 7 years and it takes me back to my school days of getting bullied and called a nerd and a geek for wearing them!! I just can't shake off that ridiculous childhood stuff. Do glasses still connote nerdiness?

I've always had a huge interest in style and now when I look back on pics of me from last year I think I look years younger and fashionable!! I feel like all this time inside as well is giving me a very dull tinge to my complexion. Doesn't help that all the undergrads look like Skins extras!

It's the gym for me - bigtime! I actually met a lot of fellow PhD-ers who have tried recently (New Year!) to become less scruffy. Have to say though, I am a fan of scruffy men myself.

Conversation with a friend by text:

Me: 'Hey, how's your face?' (Just my way of saying howaya...)
PhD friend: 'I don't know. I haven't seen it since yesterday.'

Of course this man has the added advantage of being a hot scruffy thing - I guess some people can just pull off the look eh!!

Lol, I had such a great laugh at all the other posts - sad though that there's a general feeling of ugliness amongst us all.

Here's to being single...

StBarbarella! It's great to hear the passion you've got for linguistics and the ambitions you have for the future :)

I remember when I was an undergrad I felt I had much much more in common with the mature students because of my enthusiasm for what I was reading, and I loved engaging with others at tutorials. It sounds like you love doing the same! It's great and of course will mean you will get a stellar reference for your MA and PhD.

I started uni at 17 and am now 25 in the first year of my PhD. I had planned this from my undergrad years, but took two years after my MA to explore other territories, which for me was perfect. I had gotten bored of the academic world and was interested in new prospects and developing other areas of my life. My main advice is: Enthusiasm is fantastic but BEWARE the dreaded burnout!! I've seen it happen at all levels - people throwing themselves into something (I did it in second year at uni) and then becoming burnt out by it all. It's important to keep a balance as well as continuing to enjoy what you do.

As for the MA - by the time you've finished your undergrad it could well be that you've gotten a little bored of what you were once mad interested in. On the other hand, you might find that your enthusiasm will transfer onto another exciting aspect of your discipline. There are so many possibilities for the future and it sounds like you're going in the right direction.

I'd say, keep an open mind to any opportunities available and keep enjoying what you are doing! It's so great to hear it. You can keep all the ambition you have and enjoy your undergrad at the same time.

Good luck and hope to hear about your progress :)

God the guilt - I couldn't agree more... and the most annoying thing is - I felt fine when I replied earlier - and now I feel like crap and want to quit the PhD altogether!! I just feel so lonely; wish I could be better at handling the isolation.

Any ideas on tackling the isolation?? Does it get easier?

And I totally know what you mean about feeling inadequete - no matter what, there's always going to be someone working more or less hours than you... and matching up to that is so hard.

Thanks for all the replies - I really appreciate it! The main thing to take out of this is that 'work' is an ambiguous idea, and probably encompasses a lot more than I give myself credit for. Also - it's good to know that as long as I can meet the deadlines, and that my supervisor is happy with my progress, then all is okay.

It's great that most of you seem to not care too much about what others are doing - that's my biggest pitfall!
Thanks again; I feel much better about my work time now :)

Hi everyone, I've looked over some old posts about how many hours one ought to do per day. Just wondering are there any new thoughts about this? I'd say I do about 6 hours a day if I'm working really well. I'm a First Year humanities PhD student. I feel like everyone else is doing so much more, with one girl starting at 8.30 and finishing around 5/5 in the evening!! I'm progressing reasonably okay I suppose, but I just wondered if it is necessary to always be 'working' 9-5... I've tried it and it just is not productive for me to work those kinds of hours just reading! If I'm writing I can do a lot more hours per day because I prefer writing... How many hours does everyone else do per day?

Hi to everyone who replied - such a response! It's so great to hear that there is hope.

When I think about it, I did my first presentation in over six years (and only my third presentation ever!) a few weeks ago. Everyone in the class said it was good and my supervisor was happy with it. I guess that could be one hurdle that I've gotten over, the next step is to get over the writing piece that's due soon, then so on and so on, until I face all the challenges and my confidence grows. I have always wanted to be a lecturer and an academic but I felt that I wasn't confident enough, so I guess that my doing this will be the best thing I could ever do on both a personal and professional level. I've seen people who are unconfident garner much more self-assurance over the years (a healthy dose) so I know that it does happen.

It will be hard and I'm so relieved that other people out there felt the same way and have gotten through it. We see others around us who seem so confident but that doesn't neccessarily mean they always feel that way.

I had a bad day where I thought I'd wanta just give up, but now I know that the only thing holding me back is ME and I have to learn how to get through those feelings.

Hi everyone,

I can't tell you how excited I was to find this forum. Although I meet other students regularly who say they find it hard to work and think they're no good, sometimes I'm not sure if they're just saying that. It's great to find a forum that tries to bring us all together and be completely honest about everything. And looking through the old posts is so heartening - everyone really comes together to help each other.

So a bit about me - I started a PhD a couple of months ago, moved to England, and I feel that perfectionism gets in the way of my work. Does anybody else feel this way? I can't stop comparing how 'few' hours I've done to how much other PhD students appear to be doing. I can't help but feel that I'm an absolute fraud, very unintelligent and that I'm missing the plot - that I can't do this.

Any ideas about how to curb perfectionism? Is it fine to do a reasonably good PhD or does it have to be amazing? I have been trying to write a piece for my supervisor but all the time I can see his face in my mind and it's laughing at me.

My questions are: Is it normal to feel as though one's work is no good? Does anybody else suffer from trying to excel in everything? Is it alright to have bad days without feeling guilty about it?

Everyday I keep thinking that I'm not doing enough and I convince myself that everyone around me is smarter, better and has more friends. I meet up with people and chat about it, but these are the same people who seem to me to be really smart and have nothing to worry about.

I have been productive over the past couple of months (since September) but I fear that it will never be enough, and that it is nigh on impossible to get a good balance in the PhD lifestyle.

Anybody out there who is really confident about their abilities that can give tips? I would be really grateful to hear your thoughts...