I have one ex-lecturer/supervisor who is just stone cold resistant to any request for references, and has remained this way despite different attempts at contacting him and various people getting messages to him. It's a shame, because he is my one and only contact for that particular qualification. It may be worth thinking about whether any other lecturers could provide suitable references for you, if your first choices go on ignoring the request or if you need the references in a hurry.

Just on a light note, I quit a survey this morning in which the options for 'marital status' were given as 'single, married or deceased'!!

I agree with Reenie's points above. I haven't seen your survey, LBaines, so these are just general comments, but the main reasons I wouldn't complete a survey are that it turns out to be much longer than I expected (some people ask for 'a couple of minutes' and it turns out to be about 50 involved questions!), if I didn't qualify, or if something about the questions bothered me. This could include unexpectedly intrusive questions or questions that didn't seem fair or balanced.

I spoke to HMRC recently about my tax code for the purposes of doing part-time work while I was a student. The way they explained it was really straightforward - I have the same personal tax allowance as any other working person, and my student funding is separate and non-taxable. HMRC is only interested in your taxable earnings, so I agree with others here that your employer has it wrong and no 'de-registration' is needed.

This sounds similar to the process I went through. I was interviewed by four people, none of whom was directly connected to the PhD project I was applying for. After the interview, the person who was going to be my supervisor contacted me to arrange a meeting, so that he and I could discuss ideas for the project and check that we could work together.

I would send an email, like others have suggested, asking if there is anything you should do at this stage.

Hi Giddypig
I'm another one, like TreeofLife, who tends to avoid these nights out like the plague anyway (and the 'Quiet....' book is on my pile of things to read at the moment!) Hats off to you for all the stuff you're doing and for house-sharing too - that would drive me to extremes of being unsociable :)
The key to this kind of thing, though, is whether you're happy with it. Only you know whether you're avoiding social situations because of some underlying confidence issues like incognito described, or whether it has just all become a bit much and you need some healthy time out and some head space.
I think a PhD makes such opposing demands of us - on the one hand, we have to be gregarious and able to network with strangers at the drop of a hat, and on the other we have to be able to work in an intensely isolated way a lot of the time - it is no wonder that we feel overwhelmed sometimes. I think the suggestion about finding some non-PhD related stuff to do is a good one - give yourself a break and do some things you enjoy.

Hi Kayla
I'm doing a PhD in Psychology and the Masters I did was in Psychological Research Methods. Fellow students did an MRes - I think a Masters with a big research methods focus is a help if you want to go in the research psychology direction (in the UK, at least). I know less about clinical psychology, but as it's a different kind of doctorate (again speaking from UK experience) I'd look for some specialist info as there may be a Masters that leads more directly into that.

Which country are you posting from, Kayla? Assuming you're talking about being a clinical psychologist (I'm basing that assumption on the fact that you want to do counselling, rather than a research Masters, for example), in the UK people tend to do a Clinical Psychology Doctorate for that rather than a PhD. There may be someone on this forum who can give you more detailed information than I can, but as clinical psychology is a highly competitive field, my advice would be to get some careers advice (or speak to someone who teaches clinical psychology) to get an accurate picture of the progression you need.

Sorry to hear that, Lizzie. I hope other funding opportunities come your way soon, and that the experience of the interview and presentation will stand you in good stead.

I would interpret the question in the way you have, FRA. So far, the teaching I've been asked to do has been on research methods (I think it is quite common for PhD students to be involved in this type of teaching) and I also know some people who have been asked to give guest lectures on their specific areas of research. It sounds like you've generated quite a good list of things you can speak about.

Hi Lizzie

I would think about how to flesh out what you've written, the way you would do if you were giving a powerpoint presentation - i.e. give them a little more information and personality than the content that would be on the slides. At my first PhD interview, I was invited to speak 'informally' about my proposal, and that turned out to mean that they all pitched in with questions as soon as I started speaking, so maybe try thinking about what they might like to know having read your proposal. Good luck!

Hi Claire
It sounds from your post like you're coping with being in a fairly new area as well as the isolation of doing a PhD, is that correct? If so, then hats off to you for hanging in there - I've previously felt similar things when moving to another area and trying to settle in (I took the radical step of giving up on the new area and coming back home, but that situation was different to yours as there was no PhD involved at the time - just wanted to say I know how it feels being in a new place and getting nowhere fast with meeting people).

I'd echo others' suggestions about using sites like Meetup.com to find like-minded people. I'm also doing my PhD on a mostly 'distance' basis as I'm a 4-5 hour round trip away from my uni, and I have found it important to have non-uni people around to socialise with. This was something that hit me early on in my PhD, the need for people I can go out with and not talk about PhDs all night, to help keep the whole thing in perspective.

It is hard when you find yourself feeling upset every day. I would say before even asking questions of yourself like 'why am I doing a PhD?' it might help first to do more basic things to help you feel less distressed - do some of the stuff you enjoy doing and look after yourself a bit.

Very funny - and yes, good to see that being offered a job is completely random and in no way related to completing a PhD :)

1. What is the single most stressful or frustrating thing about doing a PhD?

For me, it has been the assumption that we all start with a full set of skills and perfect confidence. I am confident in some areas (generating research questions, academic writing etc) but completely inexperienced in others (conference presentations, teaching). At a PhD seminar, I was told that you need a 'poker face' and to just basically bluff your way through everything, and this seems to be the culture I have observed. I'm used to letting every reaction show on my face, and working in a supportive and collaborative way, so it has been a culture shock. I spent the first semester telling myself, 'get your head down and don't leave'.

2. What strategies or skills would you most like to learn or improve in order to make this process easier?

If I could crack the public speaking one then I'd still have a lot of hard work ahead, but none of the sheer terror! I am making myself do one thing every week towards this.

3. If you could improve or change anything about doing a PhD what would it be?

Early opportunities to get to know other students and the department would have helped a lot. Our PhD office was full when I started so I got a temp desk elsewhere and didn't even know how to find fellow students.

4. If you were starting over, which 2 or 3 things would you do differently?

Spend time beforehand identifying my own skills gaps and doing something about them before starting.
Pluck up the courage to ask who and where the other PhD students were so I didn't spend the first semester without meeting them!

Congratulations! It's great to hear success stories :)