It's interesting to see the structured routines of people who work in labs. It's really hard as a social sciences PhD to structure your day! I'm definitely in need of motivation and structure too!!

At the moment I'm facing quite a few big tasks that need starting and feel overwhelming, so I'm trying to break them up into manageable chunks and tick off small bullet-point tasks...

Aww don't worry, it's all about practice and gaining more experience!

I've been in your shoes a few years ago, had an embarrassing interview that made me feel negative about my abilities and knocked my confidence! In hindsight I realised that the interviewers were actually quite rude and didn't have good people skills, which made the interview a much worse experience than it needed to be. Would you really want to spend 3+ years working under people who don't make you feel comfortable? It's important that you gel with your supervisors and feel comfortable with them. You could take all the negative feelings you felt during the interview as a sign that these people simply aren't a good match for you.

I'm not sure if this is what you mean about them asking details about things they've already reviewed, but I remember feeling caught off guard when they asked questions about things that were very obviously stated in my proposal. And you feel confused like you're being tested or they're trying to catch you out, which makes you more hesitant and unsure. I think maybe it's just a case that they had simply forgotten about the details whereas we are very familiar with our own proposal, or they just want you to hear you repeat it. Either way, you've had the experience now and you have a better idea of what to expect for future interviews which is an invaluable thing.

Post-interview thank you emails are not obligatory, so don't feel pressure that you need to send them anything, and you didn't have a good experience with them anyway.

You're bound to think more harshly of yourself than you deserve, so don't beat yourself up. Do things you enjoy to take your mind off it, and when you do hear back from them, ask for any feedback so you can use it as a learning experience :)

... sounds like 'Removed62360' needs therapy to work through all their issues lol! Imagine typing out long dull essays about how PhD students should accept rubbish treatment and never speak out about issues, and getting triggered over suggestions that Vice Chancellors are overpaid greedy twits...

Luckily at my uni (an excellent Russell Group), the staff encourage us to speak out about areas for improvement no matter how complex because they actively want to improve the system rather than cling to outdated 'long-standing policies' for the sake of tradition :)

I can't imagine how nerve-wracking the time between submission and viva is, especially when dealing with mental health difficulties on top of it all :( At the very least it strikes me that you really love and care about what you do, 'there's nothing else I want to do with my life', hence you're so anxious about it.

Regarding your reasons you think you'll fail,

Hi msabier,
- You only do one thorough literature review but as XinyangLiu says it's a continuous process. So you do most of your literature review at the start but you add to it and make it more detailed as your reading develops throughout the PhD.
- You need to try and link those different (but related) aspects of your topic together within the lit review and show why you're focusing specifically on children in Asia.

Phd20sb should absolutely seek advice from their Students Union, supervisors and any other points of support before deciding to take legal action. Going through the uni's complaints procedure should be the first port of call. Make a noise about what has happened. Are your supervisors supportive, Phd20sb?

I'm just shocked at the suggestions that they should passively and quietly accept what's happened because there are lots of douchebag academics/it's safer to just get on with the unfair corrections/the examiners did nothing wrong/it's not illegal. In fact, it's literally a Hate Crime to be racist. Decent unis will also have policies against staff slagging off students in this way... it's completely justified to make noise and seek an apology here.

Maybe I just have a stronger sense of injustice than you lot lol, but I would hate to be in an academic culture where we encourage each other to stay silent and just get on with it rather than speaking out.

Oh no what a horrible work culture, 'silent competition of who can stay in the lab the longest' ew :( sounds like you had really bad luck in the type of supervisor you got and the lab culture you're in. No decent supervisor dictates to you the amount of hours you work lol. They're meant to support and guide you, not stress you out. Do you have a second supervisor or personal tutor or head of pastoral support or some other truthworthy academic you can speak to about your issues re the meanie supervisor?

Btw is there an explicit expectation that you answer their emails in the middle of the night or are they just a nightowl? A bunch of academics at my uni specify at the bottom of the email something like, 'Under the current situation I may be working outside of office hours. Please do not feel obliged to respond to emails outside of office hours; we all have our own working hours/mine may be different to yours'

I mean I'm more struck by the fact that the examiners mocked this student, laughed at them and said inappropriate comments about their country? Anyone would be upset at this. How unprofessional and gross of the reviewers. By saying the reviewers did nothing wrong apart from leaving the camera on, are you suggesting it's ok or normal for reviewers to slag off students in this professional setting?

It's also not our place to 'evaluate' whether what they experienced was racism or not and I don't think we should expect a transcript of these hurtful remarks in order to believe Phd20sb.

Oh and they also said the major corrections report does not even match what was discussed in the viva outcome... I'd be annoyed about that too!

I would absolutely encourage you to raise a complaint and seek an apology. Speaking out against racism and unprofessional academics is the only way either of these things will ever change.

I'm sorry you had to experience this but I'm also glad the internal's technological incompetence led to their true colours being revealed :) It's only fair that you let the uni know the way their employees behave.

As always really well put Em! Can I hire you to write my emails when I make mistakes :)