PM133 we are on the same page with this. Ive always been a little naive about the world (overprotected daddys girl from birth!) but I grew up in quite a tough neighbourhood with a lot of brothers and so didnt realise that women were so toxic until I started working in my 20s and doing the PhD. I expected that in such a tough world run by men, women had each others backs. But everything you just pointed out is something we definitely dont discuss enough. Women try to project the idea of sisterhood but there isnt one, and never has been. Im more aware now in light of my experiences but its good that youve opened up this narrative as it needs much more acknowledgment.

The best of luck Tudor_Queen! Whereabouts are you on your phd journey? I wish you well. The writing up phase is definitely the most challenging but it’s the last hurdle to overcome (the viva isn’t as bad to be honest). I felt much more elated when I submitted my thesis than when the viva ended, because you know the hard part is over.

Thanks Alphaomega!


Pm133, Thank you for this. I 100% agree! I had the unfortunate encounter of having my Mock viva with someone in their 20s (I’m 31) who had literally just passed her own PhD and fits the description of the young academic competitive type you just described. I remember before the mock viva started telling her why I was in a position of resubmitting (due to aforementioned house move, marriage, pregnancy etc) and she gave me the most blank faced reaction, like I was a piece of crap ok the bottom of her shoe. Basically she had no sympathy for my situation, and after that point I had her card marked. I don’t know how people place their career ambitions above basic decency and sympathy, or understanding of others situations. We all have different life experiences and circumstances to work through. I certainly don’t judge other people’s PhD journeys to my own because I’m not a robot devoid of feelings. There are so many competitive nuts out there nowadays that I literally have 2 friends that I made during the course of my PhD. I don’t know if it’s worse amongst female academics but I feel like it is. They are much more judgmental if they know you are married or have children. I mean where do these arguments regarding equality apply when we think about how women are treated by OTHER women? I can’t ever say I’ve had an encounter with a male academic where I questioned my own ability, it’s always been women. But getting back to the original point of PM133’s post, one of the best things any phd student or early career academic can do is to ignore other people and in the grander scheme of things, we are not going to live forever, so why make life a race?

Thank you guys, it’s so nice to have this community on here where we can share our experiences and motivate one another! It also gives hope to those who are going through difficult patches during their studies (of which the majority of us face!). I think it’s refreshing that many people on here are honest and don’t sugar coat their experiences. Sometimes academia can be so toxic and competitive that people crumble under the pressure and suffer mental health problems as they feel guilty for finding it difficult or feel they are not doing enough. I would advise that you try to ignore what others are doing or how fast other people finish their PhD etc. You can not compare two individual life journeys, so why compare your PhD experience to others? I did this a lot and now realise it was pointless.

There are a lot of circumstances we have to overcome in life sometimes and these are obstacles to us achieving our goals. A PhD is a massive achievement and it doesn’t come easy. I really felt I was being tested by enduring two viva exams and going through so many personal problems during my studies. However, i view my son as a blessing and in hindsight, I am glad I got the revise and resubmit verdict. They could’ve failed me, but didn’t. They could’ve downgraded me to an MPhil but they didn’t. I had a second chance to improve my work and make it the best I could and although I didn’t realise this initially, when my motivation did kick in I worked tirelessly until it reached a standard I could be proud of, and that my supervisors could be proud of. I hope anybody else going through a similar situation sees that a positive outcome is entirely achievable and that when you do pass, it is worth all of those tears and struggles.

My supervisors told me to take an interruption of 12 months to my studies and focus on my pregnancy and my baby. That’s exactly what I did. I didn’t look at my work until a few months after my son was born and by then, I had even less motivation than before. How would I go back to a thesis that required so much work and overhauling? Could I manage it with a newborn baby? My second supervisor was really frustrated by my lack of motivation and during one supervision meeting, gave me some cold truths which made me cry-I had never failed anything in my life and the revise and resubmit verdict had totally alienated me. I had zero passion left I felt. My supervisors words lit a fire under me and after that, I made a writing plan and looked at all of the examiners corrections; I had 8 months left until my final submission and I worked tremendously hard. I had no childcare and my husband works full time, so I looked after my son and did my corrections in between. I overhauled the entire thesis and successfully submitted in March. My Viva was booked for May and after many sleepless nights and a lot of preparation, I went to my Viva confident in my newly revised thesis and confident in myself. Before the viva began, my supervisor had a word with the internal examiner who informally told him that I had passed! So when I went into the viva (which was around 1hr 30mins long) I had a certain confidence in me when answering their questions. They praised the amount of work that had gone into the revised thesis and congratulated me on persevering and completing it, especially with a small child to look after. At the end, they called me back in to inform me I had passed with minor corrections! I was so overjoyed. My message to fellow PhDers:do not give up. Word hard. Stay inspired. It is so worth it in the end.

Hi everyone

I’ve been following this board for some time now, often trawling through the posts looking for reassurance from fellow PhD students on their experiences of viva examinations and outcomes.
To put it as succinctly as possible, this is my PhD story:
Started in 2011 in a social science PhD fulltime. I was very motivated for the first two years and was in the process of data collection and had written about 30000 words at this point. I then got married to my partner of 6 years and moved to another city. Unfortunately, we ran into financial problems and I didn’t get along well with my husbands family. I got severe eczema all over my face (as a result of stress I assume) which completely shattered my confidence. I didn’t leave the house for days at a time and only went to university once a month when my flare ups on my face would calm down. I lost all motivation to study and my PhD was virtually on hold for nearly two years. Eventually, we moved back to my hometown and got a new house (near to my family) and my eczema cleared up. After two months, I was pregnant with my (now 2 year old) son. It was an unexpected but welcomed pregnancy. However, as a result of the pregnancy, I decided to rush my thesis submission to get it out of the way before my son was born so I could finally have my PhD done. This was the worst thing I could’ve done. I submitted my thesis without my supervisors having the time to approve or check it and my Viva was booked. The viva took place when I was 6 months pregnant (the examiners were unaware I was pregnant) and it lasted almost 4 hours. It was obvious that there were major flaws in the execution of the thesis and the outcome was a revise and resubmit with a second viva. I was devastated and numbed by the whole experience.