Signup date: 17 Oct 2016 at 1:31pm
Last login: 12 Feb 2019 at 3:10pm
Post count: 5
Three years ago I posted on the postgrad forum because I felt lost and I wasn't sure whether this PhD was for me. I stuck at it as I was so early in my PhD journey and I thought it'd get better, and it sort of did for a bit. I was researching an area I liked working in and I felt a little more settled. In hindsight, I think I was coasting and purposefully not doing enough work in the areas I was weaker in but that's done now and I can't change it.
I've gotten to a point where I am now researching and working on something I do not even slightly understand, and have no interest in. My project has always been one of two parts; something more chemistry based (my background), and then something heavily physics based (electronics). I was 'sold' this PhD as something that it really hasn't turned out to be and I am fed up. I want to get on with my life, get a job (I've never wanted to work in academia), and get out. I don't know exactly what I want to do but I just sort of know that I could do anything for a bit whilst I figure it out some more.
I think I would likely feel differently if I was back in chemistry doing research I had some passion about but it's just been stamped out of me. (I know I'd definitely be more inclined to battle through the hard bits if I had interest in my project.)
I also feel strongly that I haven't got enough time left to get the amount of work required to make up a whole PhD.
It all feels a mess, and any advice or anything would be really gratefully received. Thanks.
Thanks guys. You're talking a lot of sense. I am stubborn and do feel like quitting would be failing but again my rational side is shouting if it's breaking you this early maybe it's not for you?
I'm currently attempting to sign up to the university counselling service to help with the anxiety stuff and just have someone to talk to about my situation.
It's hard when you assumed this was the right way to go and it's totally not what you thought it'd be. I can't really think of the reasons I started so I'm definitely going to seek advice.
I totally agree that I need to give it longer. I am stubborn as hell so I know I wont give up easily and I got on the course so clearly I can't be terrible however I am still freaking out a bit.
I keep avoiding going to the office. I have pulled two sickies this week alone so I don't have to go in. I am supposed to be planning an experiment with a postdoc but I'm avoiding her like the plague for literally no apparent reason. I had a panic attack the other day because I'm pathetic.
I think the further I'm getting into this PhD I am realising that the project isn't what I thought it'd be and I don't particularly want to do it. For example, I had a meeting with my supervisor earlier and throughout the whole thing I was just thinking about how I didn't want to be there.
I think it's clear that I'm not managing the stress etc very well and I'm aware that there is clearly some underlying anxiety issue going on that I need help with but I really am struggling and I am fearful that I've made the wrong choice and keeping going will only make it worse.
I've just started my PhD about 4 weeks ago and I am really struggling with it.
I am doing a lot of reading and my supervisor is very keen on getting me going in the lab, however I have literally no idea what I'm doing.
I keep reading about all of these people who quit their PhD who originally enjoyed it but then quit because they thought it wasn't for them. I'm in the situation where I don't know why I started and I'm doing a project in something I know nothing about, I have no ideas about and I have no passion for. I love science and chemistry but I feel like I've made a bad decision going into something academic?
I was wondering if anyone had any experience of this or advice.
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