Any other PhD mums?

F

Quote From timefortea:

Welcome Farah and Halochanter!
I had twins while doing my Phd - I don't recommend it! That said, everything really depends on how organized you are, what help you have etc. There is another poster on the forum who also had twins while doing the Phd and she has now graduated - living proof that it can be done! I hope to join her one day...


Thanks timefortea :-)
f you don't mind, could you share abit on how you coped: when you found out you were preg, did you 'accelerate' your writing? And when the twins were born, how did you squeeze in time for writing? I guess, i'd like to learn more about what would be a reasonable 'strategy' to work on, from the time you have a confirmed pregnancy? Thanks a mil!

T

Farah - I don't think there is a right way to do it - you just have to work out what is best for you. If anything, I am a lesson in how not to do things as I am now really behind in my plans....:-(

D

Hi Farah, when I was studying for my PhD I had
my eldest and 12 months later my twins arrived. Not the plan I had in mind but
we got through it! Once I found out I was pregnant, I worked harder in all of
the time I could spare. I needed to feel that I was ahead so that when the baby
arrived I could take 2-3 months out. Believe me, the sleepless nights will turn
you into a zombie and it will feel like your brain will never function in PhD
mode again :p In the early weeks if you can do a little reading then it will
keep things in mind ready for when you pick it all up again. I got an
intermission period where both my fees and study time were suspended for a few
months. When I got back into studying I was part-time managing to fit in my
studies during the evenings and one afternoon of childcare a week. You will not
be able to study very well in just naptimes! This study regime was possible by
having an understanding hubby to attend to DD if she woke in the evening and
being super efficient (you will learn this when you have children!). Try to keep
lists of things to do and keep your desk environment ready for work so
increasing productivity. I had a pen/paper handy for quick notes when in the
middle of feeding/nappy changing as I was certain to come up with new Qs and
ideas then. I did manage to pass my PhD (minor corrections) within the part-time
timeframe and would have done so much quicker if I had funding for childcare.
Hope this helps.

M

Hi!

I am currently doing my PhD, i'm on my 9th month, i can say things going OK...well, at least so far,I have submitted my proposal for approval and have started generating some data. I'm just wondering how its like being a mum and studying full time. My partner and I have been talking babies, i want to have one, simply because i'm not getting younger, i'll be 33 this year and i don't think i wanna wait until i finish my PhD. I wonder if i'll be able to cope, my family (my mum and my big sisters) are also on my case because of my age, should i be worried, i'm still scared this might affect my studies, even though my family have promised to take my baby until i'm done, but will i be able to part with my baby? I don't wanna put too much stress on my plate..i don't know, what do you guys think, you advise from experience will be highly appreciated. MsK xxx

C

Hiya, I'm a mom of a 9-month old baby, and I've got other people in the family to care for as well. It is indeed a huge challenge. When I started my Phd, I was not pregnant yet. It came as a big surprise and I decided to do my best, trying tp juggle family and studies. It hasn't been easy ; we had bouts of cold one after another recently. But I'M DETERMINED to do my hardest for this. I think you need organisational skills to make things easier as well as teaching the kids where to look for their stuff so they can do their chores on their own. Plus, it helps if you can do some work when the kids are at home doing their own stuff, like free-writing on a section of your topic, checking your bibliography, dictating your supervisor's taped comments, googling a concept on the net, keeping in touch with other postgrads, printing out often-used phrases useful for your writing and so on.

Hope we ladies can keep in touch here because it can get lonely being a Phd parent :-)

E

What a great thread!!! I'm 31 years old ... I got married 5 years ago... I know I'm still young for being worry about kids... but my husband is 44 years old .. and I have very strong feelings that I want to have a baby.... Unfortunately, my husband has a fertility problem and I'm afraid if waited to finish my PhD, his problem became worth ... I'm thinking to do intrauterine insemination next week... I know it is not easy to be pregnant and doing a PhD but this is the life... I don't have any of my family in my city and I'm sure my husband would never support me.. but I want to have a baby...

P

======= Date Modified 21 May 2012 14:57:33 =======
Very interesting to find this post! I am in the second year of my Humanities PhD, having had a baby at the end of my first year and taking a year's maternity leave... I am officially full-time, but actually only work on the PhD 3 days a week, while hubby looks after our 18 month old. He then works the other 4 days a week, while I look after our child. We're in the midst of a bout of teething/illness, and I'm having health problems as is my husband and several other members of my family (our poor child's inherited a real duff lot of genes!!), and I'm struggling getting on with PhD work while worrying about family goings-on.
As someone else posted I've not met any other PhD-parents in real life, so it's great to know I'm not alone - I can sympathise with so many of the issues raised in this post! And I'm inspired by those of you with more than one (and twins - wow!) - I'm not sure how you cope even without the PhD to contend with as well ;)
Anyway, just thought I'd say "hi" and keep this thread alive...

W

Hi,
It's so great having found this site and this thread. I have 2 girls (a 10 year old(Hannah) and a 19months baby(Sarah) and i'm in my 3rd year in my PhD studies. I had my second baby after my first year of embarking on my PhD. It has been hard and especially now nearing the end. I kindda feel alone sometimes as my other phd friends dont have children. I am currently writing and analysing at the same time as i want to be able to submit my thesis this year and get this over and done with. I normally go to Uni 4 days a week because i get little done at home. I try to do some work after all the kids have gone to sleep but i can only do for a couple of hours before i get sleepy. It's hard and challenging but i am pushing on. Some days are harder but i am trying. Nice to know that i am not alone:)

N

Hi there. Just thought I would add myself into this group. Like all of you, I am also a Phd Mum :) and its so challenging......I am now in my third year and very close to completion but its been a hell of a roller coaster ride. 8 weeks into the start of my Phd, I found out that we were having baby number 3! To complicate things further, my funding is over (6 months early as I was paid more whilst I was on maternity leave) and so will soon be starting a job in Jan 2013. So, like it or not, I have to get my PhD over in the next few months....

I hope all goes well with all of you :) Nice to know we are in the boat together!

D

Hi to all those PhD parents! When I was studying for my PhD I felt so alone being a student mum. I didn't have anyone who understood how it was juggling studies and babies, just many people who felt I should give up my PhD to raise our family. This fuelled my determination to complete my PhD and show my toddlers (now 2,2 and 3) just what can be achieved when you believe in yourself. Take comfort in the number of other PhD parents there are on here. It is this forum that can give you somewhere to share your frustrations with like-minded students when times are getting tough. Having children will mean productivity will fluctuate and this is ok. You can all succeed so keep at it ;-)

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