I am not only in the final year, but final months of work on my PhD thesis. I've been at it for four years, and have absolutely nothing to complain about. My advisors have been amazing. I've enjoyed participating in seminars, colloquiums, and conferences. I successfully published an article, and went smoothly through that process.
I've battled distractions, a lengthy illness, and a few significant bouts of depression and anxiety. My marriage is strong, and my few relationships are intact. There is the possibility of a job once I finish up. When I 'count my blessings', then, I wonder why I'm still feeling more negative, depressed, anxious, isolated, and wondering what the point of it all really is. To whatever extent this is 'normal' at the end of a PhD, it doesn't make the difficulty of having these experiences any less intense, de-motivating, or stressful.
I'm just exhausted, and dreading the feedback from my advisors once they've read and commented on my full draft. I'm dreading the end of the project, because I'm dreading a big move. I'm dreading the big decisions involved with where that move may take my wife and I, and what it will mean for our future. And, in the end, I have a more powerful sense of isolation and absolute alone-ness than I've ever experienced, thus my attempt to describe all this in a relatively anonymous forum where it is hoped that others may relate, and even a few might have wisdom to share.
This is the final year of my extension, and I'm still struggling with the thesis. It's only completed by half until now, my supervisor told me he does not think I can make it. He thought I don't capable of doing independent research and I'm lack of creativity. To be honest I just don't enjoy it, the whole phd is a disaster. I tried my best and work long hours, but it just made me feel bad when showing the results to my supervisor. He thought I didn't make any progress and I didn't know how to explore those problems. I'm so stressful and frustrated. Maybe I'm not a research guy, not born like that. I've done 4 years and a half, now I still have six months time, but I don't know if I should continue. My supervisor will still help me if I decide to continue. I wasted more than four years time, am I going to waste more? I should have quit on my first year, but now everything is too late.
Softkitty how did you get on? How often were you getting feedback. It seems a bit late in the day for your supervisor to be saying that. I has millions of Work to do in the last 6 month's and my mostly transformed my thesis in 3 months. Putting my first draft in next week.
I'm aware that some areas are weak and will need further developed but that's what the viva is for. Not only to defend but to take guidance on the thesis.
I have two chapter conclusions to redraft and my main conclusion to redraft. 5 Or 6 sections to strengthen plus a couple of paragraphs to write in my lit review. Then I need to proof read check references and have 4 data to do it. It can be done! A finished thesis is a submitted thesis!
Six months to go in this Music Composition PhD. In the writing up stage. Amazing supervisors. Can't believe how supportive (emotionally and financially) Mrs Consistently has been.
I'm also convinced there's only a tiny chance I'll finish, and if I do I'll certainly fail.
I've not written a single word for a fortnight - been hiding in my studio with a knot in my stomach, wishing I could run away from everything, permanently. It's going to be an ugly six months.
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