Hi. I am having problems with my PhD. No matter how much love and attention he gets, he just won't do as he is told. I have tried changing his diet, taking him for extra walks and even treated him to a mobile grooming professional, but he still remains unruly. Does anybody know the best way to tame my PhD? A reliable training agency perhaps? Are there any good ones available on my planet?

I say that it is all about how the PhD was brought up. A good foundation based sound and methodological training can work wonders with any unruly PhD. The best thing to do is to stop rushing and adding pressure on the PhD to become the oh so wonderful thesis. Enjoy your PhD while it lasts and don't make it ruin your home and life! Tickling him under the belly will often give both you and your PhD much needed pleasure.

Thanks a million for the advice! Yes, I am keen to nurture my PhD so that he will become impeccably behaved and loyal. It's just that it was so embarrassing the other day when 'Thesis' ran up to my supervisor and started 'humping' his leg, I could have died there and then! Luckily, he saw the funny side of things, and it really broke the ice.

you people worry me

I hate cats

Stu, you mean to say that your PhD has not behaved in this manner yet?

mine seems ok, I have just been plodding along, I don't let it get to me

I just found out that my PhD has been 'fooling around' with next door's MPhil, and she is now expecting a Bachelor's Degree sometime this summer!

Cross breeding can not be a good sign... the resultant might be a life-experience degree.

I like the way Ginga's phd is a he. Mine is a he too and at the moment I have him under the thumb....the question is, for how long will he behave?!?!!??!

Mine is a he too but only because I am she and we were meant to be!

women are easy to control, just give them an iron and they know what to do. Iron my shirt, bitch!

Spoken like a new PhD student. When you grow older and wiser, you will come to realise that women actually control the world! Men just haven't figured it out yet!

TV program about how to get your husband to do what you want by treating them like a dog springs to mind. Give them lots of treats, flattery, reward them when they do something good (no matter how small), basically boost their ego while getting what you want - manipulation. PhDs are definitely male. This program was excellent - but one guy was really hurt that his wife had been making a fool of him, I wouldn't take it too far.

DanB, there is nothing to stop women doing stupid things such as buying a new pair of shoes every week. Thats just what they do.

Now, if women really did rule, then why do they do such stupid things like buying shoes they don't need, or crying at stupid things.

From a male perspective, I have one pair of shoes, and one pair of casual trainers. I have had the shoes for two years, and the trainers for 6 months. Now whos more stupid? men or women? well, its the women isn't it

Don't get me started on women drivers either!!!