I will start:

Once upon a time, there were 10 angry african women living in a caravan.

They lived next door to a protective dyke.

They realised that 4 of them would have to sell their bodies on ebay, another 2 would sell mooncups, with a further 2 to busy arguing and being angry with eachother, thus leaving one to actually do the PhD.

Thus consequently, with only one person actually producing PhD material. The rest lost their funding. First 500 Euros. Now, none.

Who - after a while - found out that two of them where secretly selling their mooncups on e-bay and buying chocolate boxes with the money. The outraged 8 stormed the room of the mooncup selling two - only to find out that they had to sponging, chocolate gorging transvestites amongst them! The ensuing rage of mooncupped woman left the two transdressing transvestites .... to be continued.

A lot of swearing and name-calling followed with lots of furniture being thrown around resulting in 3 of the angry african ladies requiring hospitalisation and the goat being declared victor.

The show was stunned into silence as Davealina the post-op transsexual badger wannabe came out and revealed that after being mistreated by the 10 angry african women he stole some of the funding money and found a backstreet doctor to convert him into a badger so that he could escape into the wild and be free of them for good.. But it turns out the doctor just put him in a badger suit and stole the money.. He fell into deep depression and turned to a life of drugs and crime resulting in an unhealthy addiction to sherbert lemons and irn-bru

You forgot the deepfried mars bars Tricky!

Baaah

Unfortunately, these thornbushes were already occupied by GOD, who thus spoke thundering from the burning THORNBUSH:

THESE ARE MY WORDS:
THOU SHALT NOT MATE WITH ANIMALS (AKA BEASTIALITY)

And with these words the goat was set alight burning brightly with radiant blue flames

However DanB made a gracious apology to Tricky and matters were settled amicably. Hillyg however wondered why people would want to spend their whole lives in the academic bubble and whether becoming a holiday rep was an option for a Dr (PhD of course).

hillyg then promptly forgot about the PhD and moved to Ibiza where she spent the rest of her days dancing on tables topless and trying to force tourists to drink until they were on the floor.