Hi everyone. I wanted to ask a question that, although it doesn't look particularly political, has the potential to be. I wanted to ask you all if you think it wise to socialise with people in your department? I'm asking because I went to a departmental 'do' today, and I could see the politics brewing. Several of the students were slagging off staff members/other students, and I felt extremely uncomfortable. I want to feel part of the department, and not feel alienated, but I also don't want to get involved in rubbish personal politics. Can anyone lend any advice on this?

hi eddi .. i would advice you to start socialise with other students around you specially the ones within you same group. The reason is that you need some support and feel comfortable among the lot you are working with. Participate in all possible activities and do networking is valuable during ur phd and therefore you wont feel isolated or alienated.

My advise is similar: socialise, but remember one important rule. NEVER bitch or gossip about other people, not even about the cleaners in the department. If other's around you gossip when you are in the same room, don't say anything. Don't show them them that you dislike the fact they are gossiping but at the same time don't gossip yourself. You got to pretend to be a sheep around sheeps, whereas in reality you are the wolf, if that makes sense. Once you adhered to this rule, your life will become much easier, because you will see all the politics going on around you, all the gossiping, all the crap, but at the same time you will be slightly detached. Plus, people will begin to develop respect for you because you NEVER gossip, but still appear to be one of them.

Thanks guys. I was feeling really unsure about what to do on that one. I really dislike gossip and any negative talk about other people. I feel so uncomfortable in that sort of cruel, competitive environment where it seems like everyone is out for themselves. From discussion I've had with other PhD students, it seems like this backstabbing goes on alot. Although I suppose this happens everywhere.

I agree with o.stoll - very good advice, there.

Absolutely. You must socialise with them (ditto everyone else). Likewise, I concur with regard to department politics - stay out, or rather just nod or shake your head as appropriate without commenting on said member of staff being bitched about.

I agree with everyone, although in my case I did once join in some moaning about a staff member. But felt guilty ever since, so trying to avoid such scenarios in future. It's very tempting to moan when someone has annoyed you but I suppose there are better ways of dealing with it. Maybe using this forum

There's office politics in every job, although it does seem to be a little worse in academic departments. The advice given here is really good. Also, don't do anything you would be embarassed about the next day....I'm sure a few of us have been there at department Christmas parties , and while a few drinks can bring everyone together, its not good to be the talk of the department....

I agree with the advise here, socialising can be an important part of professional networking, and I remember at times the remark my mother gave to squabbling siblings, which is that if you do not have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!

A big smile and a comment on how great the new lightbulbs in the corridor are can move the topic on to safe neutral ground!

you should socialize, that's part of your life

Hi eddi! I can completely understand your concerns. We can all make a conscious decision to walk into one of these departmental parties and be urbane and reserved...and then you have a few drinks and sometimes it can all go out the window! So, I would suggest (from my own embarrassing experiences) that you definitely get involved, but maybe be careful with the alcohol

eddi, although I don't have experience of this in a PhD post, it is very common in industry. It's perfectly ok to be anti-office politics and still be 'in the in-crowd'. I'd question the value of friendships with people who follow the general opinion. If like me, you don't follow the norm, you can carve a carear as a perfectly lovable eccentric character. Age always helps!