Signup date: 28 May 2007 at 9:36am
Last login: 31 Aug 2008 at 9:33pm
Post count: 182
Your post completely terrified me because, during my Master's, I found myself in EXACTLY the same position with my female supervisor-to-be (who had a boyfriend). Please, please, please take my advice - which is based on experience - and step away from this situation right away. I know it's exciting, and you're probably feeling all glowing, loved-up & like her special buddy, but I can guarantee with almost 100 percent certainty that you will end up in a horrible mess, and likely get extremely hurt as I did. The situation very nearly ruined my PhD, and I would seriously consider getting a different PhD supervisor if I were you. God, I just hope this isn't the same woman ... it's just such a frightening parallel.
As for natural sleeping aids, melatonin (available online) is really excellent. Will knock you out, but does not have unpleasant side effects as is just a (synthetic?) hormone. I use this if my sleeping patterns are out of whack. After a while, you just end up feeling sleepy without taking it. If you want something less strong, serotonin in pill-form is also excellent & makes you pleasantly sleepy.
I agree with tomFinland. It is possible to build positive professional relationships with some people. Those people may not even be working in your exact area, so cast your nets a little wider . . . I have found great support (personally and academically) from the unlikeliest of people.
1) "I'm in my second year and I feel that I've hardly done anything since I started." - Tick
2) "I've written up what I've done, but it seems so little, and the prospect of writing a thesis is daunting to say the least." - Tick
3) "I've never been the quickest to learn and understand new ideas, so I've always taken longer than others, but I just feel that I'm getting nowhere at the moment!" - Tick
4) "My supervisor is pretty useless" - Tick
5) "I just feel that I'm wasting time by making very little progress, and it's all going to come back to haunt me in a year or so!" - Tick
6) "I also end up comparing myself to others in my office, and seeing them constantly typing up and discussing their work is rather demoralising" - Check
I have ticked all the things you have said that I have felt or that have applied to me at some point during my PhD, just so you know that all this is PERFECTLY NORMAL. I reckon a lot of people PhDers would also be ticking away. So, hang in there!
No, I don't think you're a cow - not in the least. And it's obviously good to find positive things to say.
I just meant that the way the original post was phrased sounded a little like a bit of a veiled criticism of people who were feeling negative (the word "backlash", I think). This could be quite upsetting if you are feeling negative, as many of us are.
I have suffered from depression for a long time. I cope with it, but it really gets to me now and again. The last couple of days, I have had to force myself to go downstairs and socialize with my housemate and her fiancee. Once I got down there, though, it really did help. But it takes all my mental strength to over-ride the negative feelings sometimes.
I hear you, Chrisrolinski, about the struggle to write & the associated feelings of inadequacy. I often hate writing (not good for a humanities student) . . . it does end up flowing more often than not, but the effort to get there is sometimes too much.
Great idea for a thread. I really appreciate having a safe space to purge like this :) Feel better already just sharing.
Do you have any idea why you didn't get a traineeship? Any feedback given?
Also, to find out what you really want, it sometimes helps to imagine that all obstacles have vanished . . . what would you do if you had all the options available to you with no impediments?
Masters DegreesSearch For Masters Degrees
An active and supportive community.
Support and advice from your peers.
Your postgraduate questions answered.
Use your experience to help others.
Enter your email address below to get started with your forum account
Enter your username below to login to your account
An email has been sent to your email account along with instructions on how to reset your password. If you do not recieve your email, or have any futher problems accessing your account, then please contact our customer support.
or continue as guest