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PhD widow?

Thanks a million all for your replies. It's given me a lot to think about. I realised I came across quite whingy in my first post so I do apologise for that! No major decisions have been taken yet as he has been interviewed at another university at home too and we are waiting on that outcome. Meanwhile I am writing up my MSc thesis which is all consuming:-( but Im proud of the work Iv achieved.

Actually, my boyfriend has an uncle who studied in the same field as him. He advised hiim to be very careful choosing which country to do the phd in as it would be very difficult to get a job (postdoc/whatever) in a different country afterwards. Particularly if its not an English speaking country. I found this very hard to believe as so many research groups are so international. Has anyone seen this?

Today has not been a waste because....

What a nice idea for a thread!

Today has not been a waste because...

I have finally unpacked my suitcase from last weekend,
I have written 200 words of my msc thesis (its a start anyway)
Im on my way to the lab now to do some final bits and pieces

and ... i bought a lovely dress for my bday in a few weeks time:-)

I am being driven bonkers

Well congratulations on being put forward for this position! Worrying over it will get you nowhere fast and only make you more nervous in the long run. You already have been coached and encouraged by some influential ppl so give yourself a break

The only thing you can do really is just try to put it of your head. I know, easier said than done. But just think of all the things you usually do to procrastinate and try them for a change.

hope that helps!

PhD widow?


this is my first post, im so happy to find this forum.

Im a MSc student in the UK. I moved here with my boyfriend last Sept and we are both doing the same course. A significant portion of the course is research though its technically a taught MSc. My research project has been at a research insitute near the university. I have been there 6mths now and i hate it.

My supervisor is very nice but is a really busy guy and i have seen him a total of maybe 5/6 times in my time here. I am left on my own the rest of the time and have no other supervisor or higher up lab person to talk to re my project. I used to love my project, but now i try to get out of there as fast as i can every day. The research group I work with is predominantly guys who are a little older than me ( Im23, they'd be 25/26). They don't talk to me. They go for coffee breaks together, lunch together, play football after work, go out at weekends, nothing which i was ever invited to. I have lunch at my desk, and don't go for coffee. I really think they'd have a heart attack if i sat down next to them.

Needless to say, its been very lonely and isolating. My boyfriend on the other hand, works on a different floor to me and is part of a group like these guys. Hes having a brilliant time. As a mixed group, they go out for dinner after work a lot, go to a nearby pub for drinks, have lunch together etc. They got on really great with each other and its brilliant for him I know. They work hard, coming in at weekends sometimes and staying late but they play hard too. I realize its not his duty to be looking out for me, but it leaves me feeling sooo left out. Im literally sitting at our apt waiting for him to come home every day, ususally 7/8 but sometimes 11ish.

Well despite the lack of assistance, I have come up with some quite good results. And my time here is nearly over which I'm so thankful for.I feel like Iv wasted this opportunity, but thats a story for another day.
The thing is my boyfriend has been offered a phd in germany. He is half german so had a few family contacts. He will more than likely accept as it is a wonderful opportunity and he would get to work with a really great professor. Which leaves me thinking what will i do? Ideally id like to go with him but life as a phd student is much more work than a msc and i dont think i can sit at home anymore (obviously id try to get a job there, but in the meantime would be unemployed).I dont speak german, or know anybody there, it would be on my lonesome all over again.

Sorry for the huuuge post, but this something i need to get off my chest and talk to ppl about.
Has anybody here been in a position similar to mine? Or even been iin my boyfriends shoes?
Any advice or a fresh perspective would be so welcome.

Thanks for reading if you even got his far!