Hi there, I am really sorry to hear that you have gone through so much over the past few years. It is not easy when obstacles seem to multiply during an important time as completing a PhD. I can identify with some aspects, as I lost a lot of time due to illness during my PhD and struggled with whether to continue or just quit. My supervisor also got negative and unsympathetic with my situation. I also went through a depression and period of intense anxiety over whether I can actually do the work. However in reaching a decision whether to continue or not, I prayed for direction and I felt that since it was my dream to pursue this in the first place, I had to think about whether it's worth giving up and getting a simpler job somewhere knowing I might regret not continuing. I also weighed the pros and cons of giving up, I wrote them down on paper and saw that the cons outweighed the pros of giving up. Although in the beginning it was a feeling of relief to think that I could just leave it and pursue something else, but I already put so much of work into it. I decided to continue and despite the tension in the relationship with my supervisor now, I have to just press on and hope that I can finish it in the time I have.

If finances are a problem, why not consider getting a part-time job, however I know that it is not easy to do something else whilst doing a PhD. And also search out outside scholarships from other sources rather than your supervisor, perhaps you might get a breakthrough there.

The way I see it is that it is a committment of a few more years versus the rest of our lives. Although many people will let us down in life, we have to know where we are going and not let anyone get in the way and stop us from achieving what we want. You can overcome this situation and make a decision that will not only make you happy but will leave you with no regrets. Don't doubt yourself - you have come so far. I can see that you are a determined person because you didn't just leave pursuing a PhD altogether when things were bad with the first project, you chose a new one and the challenges that come with that aren't easy. I was also faced with that question of whether I am cut out for academia etc. but it is how you see yourself - according to what I can tell from what you said - you are cut out for that and more, give yourself a break - losing a parent is so hard and when the other parent is ill it is worse, combined with all the other issues -you have been through a lot and you have come out stronger, you can get through anything.
Yes life is short, family is important and so is your life and your career, revisit how you felt when you first began the PhD, perhaps that will make you think about why you wanted to accomplish it in the first place, what drives you and where you want to go. Although the issues of life have drained your passion, you can get it back.

I'm going to keep you in prayer. Everything of the best.

Thanks for the advice, will do :-)

I am currently doing a PhD in science and it's my 3rd year. I got really sick last year and lost about 8 months of working on it. I'm now beginning to catch up but it is soooo difficult. I feel so demotivated and am struggling to get back into the swing of things. Any advice?

Hey there, don't panic, everything will be alright, things have a way working out, especially if you give yourself time to think about things and make a decision and stick with it. I think that you and your husband should go for counselling or something so that he is given steps on how not to do what he did ever again. Also with regards to your PhD, what if you go back to the other place and you are away from your husband for extended periods of time and he cheats again. Maybe he should move to where you are at the moment, to show how loyal he is and that he is willing to make the effort. Especially since you said you moved back with him and things didn't change. And you already have a scholarship now. You'll be more disheartened if the same thing happens again. Anyway I really hope things work out for you.