Signup date: 13 Apr 2021 at 3:01pm
Last login: 16 Apr 2021 at 11:11am
Post count: 9
I know exactly how you feel re jinxing it! And telling yourself not to get your hopes up is totally useless.
I've liked the idea of doing a PhD since I did my undergraduate degree, as I just love studying, reading and writing - but always thought it was something for other people. Smarter people. People 'not-like-me'. But I was talking to my tutor when doing my MA ( 7 years after completing my BA) saying how I liked the idea, but wasn't sure I could, and he told me that it was just my imposter syndrome talking and that I'm just as qualified as anyone to do a PhD. He was the one who encouraged me to go for it- I never would've done otherwise. The trouble is now that I've let myself admit that I want it and believe that I could do it, I know how crushed I'll be if I don't get it. I'm kind of trying to prepare myself for that eventuality, but of course that's easier said than done.
From what you've said, it sounds like you're already an incredible example for your nieces. You're the first in your family to get a degree, then you got an MA- you're putting yourself out there, you're working towards your goals- all of that is so admirable. I'm really rooting for you to get this funding!
I'm interested in why you think your background or academic history might hold you back...do you mind sharing why you think that might be the case? I realise of course that those from privileged backgrounds have often had easier paths to success- but I think a lot of Universities/funding bodies these days are keen not to appear elitist. If you've not had everything handed to you on a silver platter, you've shown personal growth and commitment to success, then in my opinion that would give you an edge over another candidate. I'd try and look at it that way if you can :)
It's a roll of the dice at the end of the day. We have no idea who will be reviewing our applications, what preferences or biases they may have...ultimately what will be will be. But definitely consider reapplying if it doesn't happen this time around! I'm in the same boat as you in that starting off unfunded really isn't an option. If I don't get funding this time, I plan to use this year to upskill and revise my proposal and attempt again next year, maybe applying to other funding bodies so I don't have all my eggs in one basket (the Wellcome Trust offers good funding too, but I missed the deadline this year). It is stressful though, and the idea of having to do it all again does notttt sound fun.
Gutted to hear that you're going to have to wait until June, potentially! That's a long time to just...not know. It's a bit Schrödinger's, isn't it? Like, we both are and aren't doing a PhD next year- I'm currently planning two potential futures for myself, one in which I'm a PhD student and one where I'm looking for more work...it's really surreal!
It's nice to have someone to angst with isn't it! :D Oof, February. That's torture! I can't remember when I applied (end of Jan maybe?), but I had my interview about a month ago, was told I'd hear back at the start of April aaaand now it's the 16th...which in my book is way past the start of April!
I think I could've handled the waiting game better if they'd just said 'April.' Or mid/late April. It would've saved me incessantly checking my emails every five minutes for the past two weeks! I'm normally quite a patient person but I'm really struggling with this. I guess it's because I want it so badly. I've already told myself I can't afford to do it without funding, and I'd have to wait another year to reapply so...it's an all-eggs-one-basket type situation. Horrible feeling!
Interesting that you think you've only got a 5% chance...where did you get that figure from? I came across a stat somewhere that suggested it was 15%- but I don't remember how old that stat was/whether it was about ESRC funding specifically. Either way, it's so tough isn't it? Hoping for something you know is so unlikely to happen :/
I see this post is a couple of months old- have you had your interview now? If so, how did it go?
I only had my interview a couple of weeks ago...I'm now waiting for my Uni's decision re funding. Was told we'd find out early April (it's now the 13th). The waiting is torture!
Got everything crossed for you :)
Is anyone else on tenterhooks waiting to hear about their ESRC funding application...and going just a little bit mad?
I've taken to Twitter to keep an eye out for people making announcements - that's how obsessive I've become!! Anyone else going crazy here or is it just me? I know it's ridiculous to have my hopes up for something which is so incredibly competitive...but I can't help it. I just want it so badly.
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