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Well, a month is gone during which I managed to ^almost^ finish a chapter. Only if I could get rid of that "almost"...

I can't get back to writing before Thursday. Today and yesterday I spent time just on the Visa application. Tomorrow should go to the classes and Tuesday I have an interview. The recruiter is from Ireland. So the the interview will be too early for me, gotta wake up at 6 am! On Wednesday gonna study for the exam of the Thursday evening.

I hope I can finish preparing documents for the Visa by then and I'll be good to go back to my normal routine with emphasis on writing.

Besides trying hard to get different deadlines, I'm working on polishing my skills to get ready for the big interview I'm hoping to be invited to in the coming months. I badly wanna win this. I should I should, I have to. There is no other way. Even if I lose it for now, I'll work harder and try next year or the year after. I know I am very talented and very few people in the world can do better than me. I just need to learn how to prove this to the Big guy of industry.

Bored with it/getting over the hump
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Just wanna say I can empathize with you. Writing is boring. But there's no escape. We gotta just do it and then enjoy life again.

My software doesn't work
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If it took you the effort, chances are you are underestimating the value of your work. Something like a impostor syndrome maybe. Talk to a peer or try to explain what you did or just what your results are, to some one out of your field. Maybe it helps you to appreciate your work better.

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There were some bad happenings but I was relatively indifferent. It seems I've started to only care about things related to my PhD or job applications. This can be not good in a long run but for now that's just how it is and I don't want to make any effort to change it.

I have had an unproductive fortnight I guess. I was working but stuck in a loop. Today I managed to break the loop and kept the writing going on (It cost me a cup of tea at the hotel).

The breaking news is I've got an offer from IP. I remember I was very unhappy with my interview. I knew they appreciated my work but I was worried I looked too young and unprofessional. The interviewers and the two other candidates I met were so formal. I thought they won't find me a good fit.
I got happy to receive the offer. It made me more confident. But it also distracted me from writing coz I was just thinking should I accept or reject the offer and how should I respond to them. I even came up with this idea of asking them if I can work remotely. Coz I'm not sure if I want to live there. Also the Salary is low so I rather to sign the agreement only for six months during which I'll have my papers submitted and look for jobs with higher salaries or at places I like. On the other hand, I'm afraid I'm being too optimistic. What if I reject this and then can not find another job any time soon? After all, the institute is not that bad and I'll have a lot of freedom there to work on pretty much whatever I like. I don't know. Gotta talk to my supervisor.

Still under pressure of some paper works..
Sghati is not being as quick in responding emails. I guess that's one of the reasons I went into a loop. Coz I was working based on some assumptions on what his response would be.

To do:

1. Write to IP. tell them I need some time to decide (hard to say so)
2. Update suppi on every things and ask for his opinion
3. Gather notes on DS for G
4. Email to Uni, urge them to be quick

Zzz .. Zzz

Make peace or war against supervisor?
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Quote From Dunham:
Isn't that PhD messed up already? .

I don't know if it is not fixable. This is something only gingerbread can decide about, having a better understanding of the situation, knowing the supervisor's character and based on her/his own abilities, character and goals.

My office mates have a supervisor who treated them as if they were kids at elementary schools in 50s, shouting at them and stuffs. They hated him and were so scared of him. But at the end he turned out to be really supportive in finding jobs FOR THEM. Well, they are totally happy now but they had come from a same culture as their supervisor so it was not too hard for them to tolerate him. So it depends on both sides.

. Without a good reference you are lost anyway.

I agree. That's why it is important to do your best to maintain/fix the relationship with your supervisor even if you don't like her or she is mean/ rude/ not helpful to you.

. but what is the point if she is already against you? That relationship won't change.

Sometimes she is not really against you. It is simply how she is. It is in her personality and she knows no better or she is not realising how destructive her actions are. Being a professor doesn't mean she has the best character.

So I think one should first do their best and try all proper actions to gain the trust/friendship back even with a bad supervisor. And when nothing worked, you can decide to stop working with her/him without having anything to regret about in future.

Make peace or war against supervisor?
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I may exaggerate a bit but I truly believe that these people can behave like this because nobody acts and prefers to suffer in silence until the next unaware student joins the group.

This is probably true. But getting a PhD offer is not easy, as a PhD student you sacrifice a lot and failing can have bad consequences. Would you have your PhD messed up for the sake of future students?

Make peace or war against supervisor?
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Quote From gingerbread:
Hey thank for the opinion.
Anyone know how bad will it be for a supervisor or the college to get/have a failed student?

Although having a student failed is not something any supervisor wants but it also depends! If she is well-respected in the field or has had a good number of students who are now successful in their career and still have a good relationship with her, well I guess having a few students dropped or failed won't affect her reputation that much. But otherwise it is certainly not good for her.

Either way, I think it's good to only focus what is best for YOU.

You should consider that changing a supervisor in an angry way will cost you a lot even if you haven't done anything wrong. You'll go through tensions that waste your time and energy. Also it will be hard to find another supervisor specially at the same department.

Alternatively trying to answer these questions may help:
Does she genuinely think you made up your results and the credit of your results goes to others? Or she is just saying so?

If she genuinely thinks so, why is that? Is there anything you can do to assure her the results are obtained by your own work?

If she is just being hostile, why is that? Is there anything you can do to improve your relationship with her?

If you decided that changing the supervisor is the best option for you, then you can consider having this process done in a friendly way using personal excuses or showing interest to a specific area she does not have expertise in.

Make peace or war against supervisor?
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That's a difficult situation. I would't suggest C. She can be annoyed and it does not hep your situation. Even if she steps back for now, you'll be in trouble later. Remember you will need her support even after Viva.

I'd personally do my best to have misunderstanding resolved and try to have my supervisor happy. I would go for option A if nothing else works.

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>>> That particular episode has been viewed 2,500 times since being put up in 2010. In contrast, the 1:15 min video of women in ‘#distractinglysexy’ poses in response to his comments notched up 15,000 views in two days. Exactly.

This might not be pleasant but that's how we are. We are not robots. when things are not related to our field, then we get more interested if they are easier to understand and have more exciting stories to share.

>>>>It appears the public doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge scientific research.

You can also conclude public respect science so much. If it was me who made those comments, as a simple PhD student, no one would care. Nor they would care if it was Simon Cowell (Even if it would go viral). But Scientists are the most trustable people on the planet. Even if they are not as heard but people have more faith in what they say.

I'm by no means saying what happened afterwards was fair on him or the society benefits from it eventually. I'm just saying the behaviour and comments of famous and respectable people are under microscope and no one can help it.

Although scientists are trusted by public, I agree with you, they do not receive the acknowledgement and appreciation they deserve.
I wonder if there is something we can do about it or it is what it is!

selection criteria questions
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I'm applying for a post-doc position in the Uk. I need to provide two separate letters on "Personal Information" and "Supporting Statement" as described below. To me, they seem very similar. Does anyone know how they should be different?

A)Personal Information
Please briefly describe how your skills and experience meet the essential and desirable criteria as set out in the person specification in the attached job profile.

B) Supporting Statement
Please provide a supporting statement for your application.
You will need to refer the Job Profile for this post, paying particular attention to the knowledge, skills and experience section.

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I feel happy again after about two hard weeks of not being able to write, or as Suppi calls it having a Writer's block.

But after two weeks of struggling to find a way to make myself start the PG chapter, I finally found it. This time it was at the restaurant of a ^classy^ hotel where they charged me double for the beverage I ordered, justifying it as the extra fee!! I don't like the idea but I'm happy to pay anything to break the writer's block. It was a big, uncrowded place at the top level with big glasses as the wall. I enjoyed watching the city from above. There is something about high places that increases my motivation and determination. So I stayed there for about 3 hours and wrote 4 pages! I now expect a week or two of productivity. :)

Sghati wrote back to me. Apparently I was correct but he thinks their way is fine too. I'm not sure yet. But I want to stop being having my mind engaged with this till I made a good progress on my PG chapter.

The other thing is that I'm still concerned about my Visa issues. They are too slow this time to process my Leave application. Can it be because of Suppi is on holidays? I don't want to contact him either before I get that chapter under control.


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Nothing gives easy
Easy gives nothing
I’m just trying to keep income coming in

Dawn is bound to break
When the night is done
Always darker days, before brighter ones

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I'm still trying to push myself to start the new chapter. Life is not at its best these days and I'm not the happiest. Lots of flashbacks come to the mind and I criticise myself, the situations and the others. I guess that is what happens whenever I feel stuck in writing.

I know when I get to the writing mode, all these bad feelings will be gone and I'll be happy and enjoy life. I just can't connect to this idea A.T.M. Later . .

It's June already and I haven't started my Masters Dissertation yet?!! Feeling very anxious!
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You can also consider an extension if you really need more time. But it is better to show them you have something in hand that takes more time to be completed. So What are you waiting for? DO IT! JUST DO IT! YES, YOU CAN! (Shia LaBeouf's style ;)

Post doc before end of PhD
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Hi TreeofLife,
Have you actually started you postdoc or you just have it secured for when you have your thesis submitted?