Hi all

I don't really know where to start. Let's say my study is not going well.

Things started to go downhill at the end of year 2. I have spent a lot of time trying to come up with three research focuses that can be integrated into one solid phd thesis. Focus 1 and 2 have been pretty much sorted. The problem is focus 3 and how the three of them can be combined as contribution to the field (I already got focus 3 now though). Things were so confusing that my supervisors suggested I focus on each part separately. So what I've been asked to do is writing short documents, like 2000, 5000, or 12,000 word long, focusing only one one specific thing at a time. However, I have been working repeatedly on focus 2 for years, and the loop goes like this: I wrote a short piece of writing > submitted it to supervisors > got told that it was crap > revise > resubmit > more mistakes pointed out > revise etc etc. I have never got to really expand it into actual result chapters. And because I spent so much time trying to fix focus 2, I haven't got much chance to work on focus 3 (which has just been added to the thesis last year) or any other parts of the thesis.

My supervisors are convinced that if I can't write short documents, I cannot write actual chapters. But the problem is I couldn't fit everything in the docs and discuss it in length. For example, the last piece of writing I submit was 12000 word long, focusing on research question 2. In the doc I was asked to include introduction, brief background literature, method, data analysis, discussion, and contribution. This leaves only about 6000 words for data analysis. However, in the actual chapter, I could have written up to 11000 words. Some of my examples are two page long. As a result I spent a lot of time condensing things over and over.

I feel that by trying to perfect these short documents, sample analysis, and outline of each individual section of the study, I'm losing the overall picture of what I'm doing even more. I don't know anymore what goes where as all I have are separate documents of each individual focus. I want to just write actual thesis now as I think it will help me see better the link between chapters and how I can make it coherent. Adding or removing details from actual chapters should be easier too. Do you think this is a good idea?

Any suggestions will be appreciated. I just finished year 4 so this is my final push. If I do this and things still doesn't improve then I guess it's time for me to go. Thank you so much in advance for any comments x

Hi there, I hope you're still checking back on this thread.

I totally understand you and your girlfriend, especially your girlfriend as I'm in a very similar position.
I'm also a scholarship recipient, but from a private university in Thailand, and I am now doing my PhD in the UK.
I haven't finished my study yet, and my phd journey is not just bumpy - it's one heck of a roller coaster ride to hell.
My supervisors said they don't think I am capable of doing a phd and suggest I downgrade it to Mphil, or submit my thesis for a phd and risk getting nothing.

Like your girlfriend, I am locked in the contract with my funder (3 years of work for every year spending in the UK). Being funded, I am pressured to get the degree. The fact that people at home really have high hope of me doesn't really help either. Although my uni won't charge extra money or confiscate my house or anything if I fail to get a phd, the thought of going back empty handed scares me to death. Sometimes I think that I'm trying to push forward not because I truly want a PhD but because I can't bare being a failure and a disappointment. Maybe this is the phase your girlfriend is going through as well? It's hard to stay eager and productive when your passion is gone and you're doing something because you have no choice.

My English boyfriend, who recently got his phd last year, is also trying to help me with my study. But, just like you, he now has work to do and can't spend hours proofreading or explaining things to me all the time anymore (well, not that he could do much anyway as we are in totally different fields, he politics and I linguistics). It's really lovely to hear that you're helping her all you can - I know how much it means to your girlfriend, but she needs to realise, like I did, that if she really wants this she needs to push harder. I think it's important that you talk to her openly about this.

It's like being stuck on an island with a pile of wood, and in order to survive shark infested sea, you gotta build your own boat and row to a big cruise ship that's waiting nearby. People on that ship can only shout to you, telling you how to build a boat from afar, but unless you start following their instructions and actually building it, you're gonna be stranded there on that little miserable island.

Thanks for sharing the story with us. It gives me clearer idea of what I might do too in case I fail my phd here. All the best wishes for you and your gf! x