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Developing Thick Research Skin?

I came here in some state of distress because I just had an experience where I was told to "cut it short" in the middle of saying something I felt strongly about. I had a bit of inner crisis and felt (as someone else has described) "sick to the stomach". I generally have prayers saved on my phone to look at as reminders in times of distress. And I was desperately searching for a particular prayer when I happened upon something else, by the will of Allah, that cooled the fire in my chest. It is reported on proper authority that the Prophet (s) said "Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not be weak (or defeated). If anything befalls you, do not say, "if only I had done such and such" rather say "Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does"
I took away the following from this and I felt myself increase in wisdom by the will of Allah.
1. Only pursue what will benefit you. If knowledge gained is beneficial, then the small defeats and crises in seeking that are to be taken in one's stride. If knowledge is not beneficial, not even another second should be spend acquiring it.
2. Do not get into "what if" thinking (this was big because I was going over the event again and again in my mind). Rather, accept it as something Allah has willed (or was "meant to happen" for those prefer secular language)
3. Seek the help of Allah, do not feel like you are alone.

I thank Allah for this forum and you all for your openness. I have benefited from this forum and from the various replies people have posted. I do agree that academics feel compulsions to say thing and I sometimes find, to my dismay, that I myself am beginning to become like that having now spent 3 years in a PhD. I hope I have the strength to resist this habit. It's kind of like when I was a child and my parents would do something I disliked, I would make a promise to myself to never do that when I became a parent. Now I have a son, I have forgotten all of those promises! Yikes!