On the topic of being older with kids - that does make it more challenging! I'm wondering how academic life is going to pan out. I'll be 35 when I get my PhD (if!!!), and want a family... trying to work out the best thing to do - get post-doc, have family in the middle so I get maternity benefits - but then what happens to the research if there's a deadline for the project (only 2 or 3 year contract)?! It doesn't help that my partner is also a post-doc, so on short term contracts. We keep joking about how we should find rich partners who can support us If your kids are young, going somewhere else for a short time to do a post-doc could be a great move (it's recommended to do a post-doc somewhere else if you want to stay in academia). I guess it's more difficult if they're at school - but not impossible. Could be an adventure. Good luck - it's inspiring to see women with families in academia - gives us all hope

Difficult quandry - at the moment I have potential post-doc lined up for after the phD, and lucky to have been involved in helping to write the proposal for getting the funding. There is obviously a lot of uncertainty involved, so I'm also applying for other post-docs at the same time when I see them advertised. Much more than that is difficult without taking more time out from the phD... which needs to be done. I'm not sure about mentored funding - but it doesn't do any harm to apply for other post-docs. I guess it's a bit of a balance between actively hunting & working on the PhD. But if you get involved in helping write proposals for funding, be warned that it takes around 18 months for the funding to come through, so start earlier rather than later.

HA ha, this thread made me laugh so much... and i've just realised that despite my complaining that my supervisors aren't so bad afterall But my classic supervisor comment was during a meeting with him and another guy doing a PhD funded by the same project, discussing a survey methodology before meeting with our project partners - I disagreed with the point of view of the other student and my supervisor and his reaction was to say "well, are you with us or against us?". At the time I was seething, in hindsight I think it's hilarious! I've always had a bit of a love-hate relationship with my supervisor, he's chaotic & a pain in the bum, but I've grown very fond of him.

Congratulations! Must be a great feeling - can't wait to get there myself! Enjoy having some time off... & the doughnuts... mmm.

Hey there, personally I think it's much better to have a short, easily read and followed chapter than a mammoth chapter. I made the mistake of writing up one of my major analyses in one whole chapter (there were the same data collection, methods, similar analyses just different looks at the data)... it ended up being 70 pages (with lots of pictures!!!). It's very difficult both to write such a long chapter (and make it coherent and a nice story) and to read (supervisor has had it for 3 months). So don't worry about it. Short chapters are great!!!!

Hi there, when I'm overly emotional about stuff, I firstly wait until I'm calm, and then if I think I'll still be emotional, write an email. I say wait until calm, as it's better to write these emails when not upset or they'll come out rather emotional and a little bit embarrassing (been there done that!). Or, wait until you're on a day where you're feeling pretty positive and self-confident and raise it then. Prepare for the meeting as much as you can, gathering ammunition to fight your corner, the extra confidence that gives helps a lot. Go in prepared -go in more confident and less likely to fall apart. Having said that some supervisors insist they're always in the right, and there's not much you can do then except to pick the stuff you agree with and ignore the rest. Easier said than done I know. good luck!

Hi there Michael, I had exactly the same problem in my first year, around 6 months in... my supervisor was piling the pressure on, not letting me go to conferences and I was working my butt off, and all it resulted in was a very stressed frazzled me that at my desk every morning would end up crying my eyes out. I ended up (a) sitting down with my supervisor and explaining I couldn't work any harder, and even had to give up a few of the things he'd wanted me to do; (b) learning to say no, and often plainly ignor my supervisors opinion; and (c) going to a conference despite my supervisor saying it was a waste of time - it was the best boost ever - mixing with lots of other researchers doing similar work... to be honest it was a PhD-saver. Balance between work & play is also essential - otherwise you will either go insane or burn out. For me that is running, yoga & spending time with friends. I'm now nearing the finish line, and this approach has worked for me :) so good luck!

Hey there :o) I'm new to the forum too (as of last Friday at my wits end and found this doing a google search!)... wish i'd found it earlier as I'm 4 months off submitting (what an exciting sound!!! But what a MAMMOTH amount of work to do by then). I've bored my friends and family and boyfriend to tears with PhD moaning, so it's a lifesaver finding this site. Might save many friendships and my relationship!!! Good luck - I've found it an emotional rollercoaster. Nearly gave up half way through first year, managed to stick it out, but this 4th year has been a nightmare... love the research just hate writing up, the stress, no money, continual self-doubt... gosh don't i sound cheery?!!!! It's great. I love-hate it!

Thanks for that, I'm new to the forum (it's great!) and also made a scout of old messages on supervisors giving comments. I have a meeting with them booked, so I'm going to lay down my timetable, and explain when I need comments by & find out if they'll be able to meet my timetable or whether they can suggest someone else to review my chapters. I think perhaps they don't realise the time constraint I'm under... I've had a tendancy over the last year to present plans and not stick to them, but now coming up to the end of my 4th year, I have a deadline I can't go past... for university, sanity and financial reasons!!! VIVA THE END!!!!! No comments from supervisors? So it goes in without their comments!!!

Writing up is HORRIBLE, and not aided by the fact my supervisors are just too slow at reading my chapters and providing comments back. For the first chapter I wrote, it took my supervisor 4 months to give me comments back, and the second one 3 months so far, and still no comments. The other supervisor provided lots of comments at the beginning of the chapter, which quickly petered out... like he'd never bothered reading it all. I'm due to submit at the end of the summer and wondering how I can chivvy them along... any ideas? It's really disheartening to be honest. Neither show any interest in what I do, and then don't even tell me if it's any good, though they don't trash it either (which has to be a positive). Anyway, I need a way to speed them up & get them to provide quality comments... in an encouraging way... whisky bribe?! Any ideas?