I guess it really depends on whether there is money available whether it's paid work or not. Often what happens is you may get either non-paid experience, or paid more mundane (data entry) type work to start with, but as you get your face known and people can see how enthusiastic you are, you'll get offered more work & experience. You're definately going about it the right way! I'd say go in there with an idea of the type of experience you'd like (making sure you know a little about the work they actually do) so you can discuss this, but be prepared to be flexible.

...don't be afraid to let a little time pass. I met my boyfriend at a conference & we had an on/off long distance relationship for a few years before it got too complicated and stressful (he was also being very non-commital) & I broke it off. I started seeing someone else (we won't go into the subconcious decisions I must have been making at the time), and he spent the next 4 months trying to convince me to change my mind... when I met up with him again I fell for him all over again, he got a job near to me, and we've never looked back. And I never want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't fought for me... because he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. So hang in there, if U2 are meant to be (& I don't believe in fate) then you'll weather it :o)

Hi! My feelings are with you - PhD writing up stress puts a huge pressure on a relationship, and writing up myself at the moment, I can understand her trying to put a distance from the relationship if it's too much emotional turmoil - writing up is turmoil in itself - and to be truthful, it is very difficult to think straight when you're stressed about writing up. It's easy to read too much into things. It's difficult to know what approach is best. It's best to be honest on the whole, especially if she's confused. But she'll need space too. Maybe write your feelings on paper in a letter to her - & tell her you'll be there for her when she needs you. Then wait, and then if you don't hear from her, wait until she submits, then try getting back in contact with her.

...how about... after drinking the champagne & a bit of sleep... buying a train ticket, and travel around for a week or two just seeing friends & family that you haven't seen for ages?! In between peruse art galleries, sit in cafe's watching the world go by, look after friends kids for a day - take them to the zoo... If you're like me, you've neglected many friends, not met friends kids (even though they're nearly at school) & craving a bit of culture. Enjoy!

...I was supposed to be saving the new harry potter book for post-submission, but since it will be arriving on my doorstep on Saturday morning, I have a feeling I won't be able to wait until I submit, but being a reader & cyclist, I like both those ideas (well also like the champers without a glass idea ;o)) I'm trying to think of something cheap to do after submission too. Friends do always look rather deflated. Hmmm, would like to do something with other half, but he's up to his eyeballs in work so all we're going to be able to manage is a nice weekend away somewhere secluded by the sea... looking forward to it... just trying to work out best bet for which weekend to book!!! I'm not known for sticking to deadlines...

Hi... SUPERVISORS HAVE A LOT TO ANSWER FOR!!! Gosh I sympathise - I don't have perfectionist supervisors - I have one very lax supervisor who doesn't show a whole lot of interest, and another who just disagrees with bits he feels strongly about and not too bothered about the rest. I do know a perfectionist supervisor & their students, and it frustrates them no end - but despite the frustration they seem to have learnt a lot from the supervisor... my advice would be now you're a year in, is take their comments on board, mull them over & just act on the ones you agree with and not the others. You're going to be the specialist in your field - so believe in yourself - you'll sometimes be right when your supervisor is wrong, especially as the PhD progresses. Just try not to take their comments too much to heart, do what you know you need to for your own sanity! Good luck

Hi there, I'm in with the others - go for it if your really want to do this PhD! I didn't have ties when I started my PhD so it was easy - but now I have a mortgage and way too much stuff. I met a guy who lives 200 miles away, so rented out my flat, moved in with him, and now make an appearance at the university every few weeks - though admittedly I'm writing up now. But I have a lot of friends who do most of their work in another country (for fieldwork in their case mostly but some based in the other country too), and only come back to the university for short spells to meet supervisors and other specialists in their field to exchange ideas. You could either commute occasionally, or take your time to move - there's no rush - you could commute until you managed to find somewhere to move to. Everything is possible (especially when you have funding!).

Hooo, I remember the dilemma well! But really I find there is a complete mix from the very scruffy (including top professors) to very smart.... I usually try to hit somewhere in the middle - I have to say that I do wear jeans - alot of people do in my field (biology) - but when I give talks or want to make an impression, then I'll dress slightly smarter - non-jeans trousers or skirt and nicer top ... not a suit though. At the conference banquet there's also a mix from jeans with nice top to turned out quite nicely... skirts, spangly tops for the lassies. So I'd go with what you feel comfortable with. For a first conference try smart casual (no trainers, can wear jeans but with smarter top than a t-shirt) - then you can't go far wrong in either direction :o) Enjoy!

Don't worry - you may well be able to use some of the stuff you chop out in publications - it'll still be useful even if it doesn't go into the thesis :o) Writing too much is always handy for future reference and publications - it's never wasted

Hi, I have a few friends who did RA jobs before getting a PhD - partly because the right PhDs weren't around, but also because they weren't sure what to do their PhD in (or if they really wanted to do one). One had a horrible time as RA (horrible boss) the other a fabby time and got her name on papers. They're both now starting the PhDs they wanted to do, and I have to say, a lot better prepared than I ever was going into my PhD with no research experience. The experience they've got will make the whole PhD much easier & they'll be a lot more focussed than I was starting mine (blindly flailing around for the first year). As to age, I know a lot of us who start PhD's later - I was 31 when I started mine. For post-doc funding some fellowships do stipulate that you have to be 35 years old (annoyed me!) but there is other funding out there that doesn't have this limit. Personally - go for a PhD when you feel you're ready and not for any other reason - it's tough!

ha ha! I like this thread! I've got used to people asking when are you going to finish, but it used to wind me up alot, and especially when people say 'but you've been doing it FOREVER'!!! In my case I wish I hadn't keep telling people my 'deadlines'... it was Christmas, then definately February, then Easter, then end of July. Now it is definately end of September, but for once I know it will be done by then... but for friends & supervisors, I've cried wolf too often for them to believe me! I've learnt not to ask the question or any other questions relating to finishing to fellow PhDs. To people I dont' know who ask what I do, I say I work in research, because to me I feel like it's a job (well it was when I was funded)... though a job with a lot of emotional investment... much more so than any job I've ever done!

Hooo! I can't wait to be a doctor... more for the fact that it means this whole thing is over (love my topic, but I could do without the rollercoaster ride!). I'm not sure how much I'll use it - certainly I would love to use it when booking flights and the like to see if I can get upgraded to business or first class, but a little afraid that if there is a medical emergency they'll assume I'm a medical doctor! My sister (who is a medical doctor) insists I shouldn't use the title as I'm not a 'real doctor' ;o) But I will use it at least where it's likely to help (certainly in my career), not where it hampers... can't wait!

There seem to be a lot of very bad supervisors out there, living in their own little worlds, either ignorant of their students while they have their own agendas, or happily stepping on students to make their own progress. If it gets really bad, it's probably better to at least try to do something about it - whether this is to go to the head of department, try to change supervisors, or just learning to cope without supervisor but get support elsewhere (colleagues, or other academic staff). Keep aware of what you need - one of my friends let her supervisor push her so hard she had a nervous breakdown - it's not worth that much! My friend came back but changed supervisors. Others of us who have bad supervision stick together, read each others work, and get support through each other, and through other colleagues to confirm our work is on track (I give lots of presentations to different departments or conferences to give myself the confidence I'm doing ok).

15 papers?!!!! FIFTEEN!!! Wow!
...but yes, it seems to me that publishing is the key, which when you've run out of funding is difficult to cram in - but if you want to stay in academia, they have to be crammed in somehow (an hour a day in the evenings?). Not that I'm any good on advice here - not having any papers myself yet. But seen it with my partner, who is struggling to get his backlog of papers out, but needs them to keep going in academia. For him it takes a lot of momentum to get going - so needs to take a week out to write a paper, others can squeeze it in evenings. What about taking a few weekends off to concentrate on writing them? Give yourself some deadlines. It's easier to write them if you make the decision to give academia a go, less so if you don't (from my partners experience!). Hmmm, something to look forward to... no rest!

Hmm, I understand the dilemma, will be in the same position soon (finishing PhD this summer then want to start family as will be 35, so debating options). I know for me, I need to do a job I enjoy - so for now I see no other option than trying the academic route, but no idea how it's going to work out. If I find that I can't balance family & academia, maybe then I'll reconsider - but for now, I have to give it a shot. Not having a family it's difficult to say what the best option is until we're in the situation. I don't see anything wrong with having a non-academic job if you enjoy it, and it gives you the financial security to take off the pressure while having a family. On the other hand, I think it's probably best to do something you're happy doing anyway, as you don't know what your success in having a family will be, and to escape to when you need a break from family life. Swings and roundabouts. In the end it's what will make you happy... financially or intellectually.