Hello there!

Yes I felt the same as you a year ago. I expected something would be made of my joining as PHD, but induction was not inspiring, they cared more about telling you you need to complete on time. Other PHD students seem wierd to me and yeah feelings of not belonging etc...

All I would say is this is a huge opportunity and it is worth making the investment in yourself. Just keep telling yourself that this is totally for you and nobody else. PHD is a selfish thing, I mean after all it is indulgent to read about something which interests you etc...But this is not a bad thing at all. If we don't invest in ourselves how can we invest in others after all...

Try to do familiar things, and keep in touch with people which you know well and care about. Take time to see friends you are close to, even if its for a couple of days and use the phone to keep in touch too! Don't become isolated! Ivory towers bad bad!

Over time go to conferences and you will meet other students who are like you, I met one or two in the last year and have started to make friends this way. It is long distance but PHD is very different to undergrad and the transition is a shock - I did an MA in between and I think this prepared me for what was to come, my course was 4 people...

So yes, talk about your feelings too. Try to take them outside the department because then you need fear noone overhearing - the academic community is very small and they all know each other! Offloading is totally necessary and I think its good to say exactly how you feel, esp if the situation is making you feel like crying.

Finally think about joining a sport or a class or social group in the city you are in. These might not be PHD students and they will offer a new option!