Overview of tea_fiend

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Stats books (SPSS)
T

I'd definitely recommend the Andy Field material. I was taught all my SPSS knowledge by Andy as a lowly undergrad, and compared to anything else I've seen is really relatable and simplified. In real-life he aids teaching by dressing up as Santa and throwing chocolate at the students, brilliant...but not transferable in a book!!
If you look on his Statistics Hell website, all the class handouts are there and are less overwhelming than the book if you are after a specific test. But the book is a great bible to have for all problems.

I can't see any other way out of this...but how?
T

God sorry to add yet another ‘I hate my phd’ on here (not that I’m moaning because they have helped me feel less lonley over the past year!!) but I think that’s it, I’ve finally come to the end of my tether and I want out.

I’m a third done of my 4 year PhD and I just don’t want to be here, this time last year I had a mini-breakdown and was close to quitting but due to bigger problems occurring at the same time, being here allowed me to be on autopilot for a while (well 9 months really) without anyone noticing! But this is the problem, It’s not that I’m suffering from impostor syndrome, its more that I am an actual impostor!!

About a month ago I decided that I would quit...but I would wait till the end of summer while things were quiet...but now I’ve finally told myself to do it I have no idea how. I like my supervisor very much but cannot see myself waltzing in and saying that’s it, I quit!!

I have just come out of a meeting with my co-supervisor after he has read my first year report and he says I’m behind and need to pull my finger out, that I don’t have enough for a PhD in what I have planned, and then gave me a different way to think about it and explained some ways in which to approach my immediate future plans. Which all sounds good......except it has made me realise that while my supervisor is great, friendly, a laugh, they maybe haven’t really guided me at all. I feel that like out of that one meeting I got more enthusiasm and understanding that the last 18months with my actual supervisor!! And that it’s come too late, I have developed somewhat of an aversion now to the subject from this past year of festering hate and disinterest.
I have become so un-motivated and disorganised that I can’t see any way back, and now I’ve associated that with being here at my desk I don’t think I can go back to how I was.

I’ve been so down about it I made myself ill, I have changed dramatically from the person I used to be before starting this, I actually even hate the stairs I have to climb to the office...I always feel like I’m sneaking around because I’m going home earlier than everyone or coming in later than anyone, its absolutely exhausting....and that’s just dealing with the stress of doing this PhD and I don’t even think I’ve done a full days work in the past 3 months!! I see the people around me struggling and crying and being here from 7am to 7pm (and these are the ones that like it!!) and no part of me wants that.....I want happiness over impending depression, sky-rocketed stress levels and depleted social life ( all of which have already started to show :{ )

Now I know if I try to bring this up with one of my supervisors I will just cry...and I don’t want to be the blubbering idiot, and I’m sure it will just be an awkward situation all round, but I also don’t want to just disappear with a final goodbye email. How do you do it??

Sorry for the incredibly long rant but I have no idea what to do