Completely off topic - going on a date!

posted
25-Feb-10, 19:09
by DanB
Avatar for DanB
posted about 9 years ago
I have a date next week, first one for ... oh god... I can't even remember the last time.

As it's been so long, I'm a bit out of practise and really nervous already! Any hints, advice, tips?

:-x
posted
25-Feb-10, 19:43
edited about 26 seconds later
Avatar for Walminskipeasucker
posted about 9 years ago
I've got loads of tips, hints and advice - I shall get busy writing them out for you later, when I've finished writing my verbal probing protocol. On the Subject of Attraction: Subtlety and Understatement.
posted
25-Feb-10, 19:51
edited about 20 seconds later
Avatar for Keep_Calm
posted about 9 years ago
The one everybody says: ask lots of questions. Brush your teeth beforehand. Smile (up)
posted
25-Feb-10, 22:52
by blue
Avatar for blue
posted about 9 years ago
Be yourself.
Good luck!
posted
26-Feb-10, 01:06
Avatar for Walminskipeasucker
posted about 9 years ago
Hmm, right well, I'm quite possibly the most unqualified advisor on this whole, entire forum. However, back in my womanising days (before I was effectively neutered by my PhD), I used to do the following:

1) Dress nice, but don't wear a suit - you'll look like a lothario businessman from Stockton-on-Tees.
2) Smile - but not too much (this can be scary - I have personal experience of this).
3) Show interest - I know you're going to, but let her tell you about her. The interest should become reciprocal.
4) Eye contact is dead important - but don't overdo it.
5) Don't put too much aftershave on.
6) Tell her about your hobbies and interests - try and emphasise the altruistic one's (if any).
7) Make sure you emphasise that your are a man of means, a man of principles (I don't mean a Telegraph or Daily Mail reader) and that you know how the world works.
8) Be funny and amusing.
9) Establish common themes of interest. So she may say 'I am partial to mild cheese' and you can say 'red Leicester is my favourite cheese actually. What is your opinion of Emmental cheese?'

That's all the advice and tips I have. Do make sure you ensure your safety, so take your mobile phone with you and ensure that you tell your friends and family where you are going and what time to you expect to arrive home.
posted
26-Feb-10, 09:30
edited about 16 seconds later
Avatar for algaequeen
posted about 9 years ago
lol, wally i think i love you!!

as for the advice, everyone here has got it nailed! personally, I'd say don't be too nervous, enjoy yourself and remember if she agreed to a date then she obviously already likes you a bit!
good luck!!!
posted
26-Feb-10, 09:35
by TheAce
Avatar for TheAce
posted about 9 years ago
Walminskipeasuker has hit the nail on the head for most of it.

My big tip, and not in a negative way, is to not build up the "idea" of the "date". Think of it as an exciting event for you to do in the evening that involves someone else (who may or may not be wonderful). I always found I got a lot more enjoyment out of dates when they were less formal and more about seeing something or doing something; that way both of you can relax and it takes the direct focus off each other. I went on a date (with my fantastic long suffering girlfriend) to a free photography exhibition, the exhibition turned out to be naff and it gave us something to talk/laugh about, then I plied her with sherry and the rest is history...

Top tip!! Don't go to a chain resturant, it shows a lack of initiative
posted
26-Feb-10, 12:22
edited about 21 seconds later
by Slizor
Avatar for Slizor
posted about 9 years ago
Quote From walminskipeasucker:

9) Establish common themes of interest. So she may say 'I am partial to mild cheese' and you can say 'red Leicester is my favourite cheese actually. What is your opinion of Emmental cheese?'


Hmm, I'm not sure cheese based conversations are the best way forward on a date. I normally save cheese comments as ice-breaker chat-up lines. :$ "I'm like Edam. Red and waxy on the outside, bland on the inside. Want to get freaky?" Works 60% of the time, everytime.

I agree with TheAce, work hard on finding somewhere a little bit special to go to and don't just take one person's advice on finding that special place/s. Also, think about possible follow-on places (usually a bar/pub) that, should the mood be right, you can mention.
posted
26-Feb-10, 15:52
by DanB
Avatar for DanB
posted about 9 years ago
Oh, Walminski, you had me in stitches reading that!

The date has already been set, we're off to a concert. Nothing like a bit of Rachmaninoff to get the heart strings warmed! And I'll be fairly smartly dressed as I shall have to go straight from work.

I'm loving the cheese discussion, I might just slip that one in for the fun of it anyway!
posted
26-Feb-10, 22:00
edited about 26 seconds later
by Eska
Avatar for Eska
posted about 9 years ago
======= Date Modified 26 Feb 2010 22:29:05 =======
Wally, your tip number 9 explains why so many of my old romances, or potential romances, professed an interest in art abd design, and then had none later down the line and sulked if I even so much as turned on the culture show! My aunty was right all along...

Not sure if it's because I'm an old buzzard or what, but I reckon these are the best things to do:

1. Be sane (you need to have had that in place for quite a while for it to pay dividends - any residue of craziness will show).
2. Be clean and fresh.
3. Be reasonably happy - Wal's spot on about the over smiling thing: see my first tip for clarification.
4. Have fun.
5. Listen
6. Enjoy yourself.
7. At the right point in the conversation, tease her very gently and playfully, but only a bit and not about the size of her backside or any other serious matter. Ideally this should be done in a way that makes her feel good about herself, while also gently winding her up - a rare skill, but when done well is always a winner.
8. Relax and enjoy her company and it will show.

Have a wonderful time Dan, sounds like a good first date event.

posted
26-Feb-10, 22:16
edited about 6 seconds later
Avatar for Alpacalover
posted about 9 years ago
Hey Dan,

Having nothing much to add as everyone has said all the important stuff! but here's one my Nana always said and personally I find it quite important -

Always wear nice shoes!!! (she used to say you can judge alot about a man from his shoes - if he looks after them he'll look after you!! :) )

I'm not sure how much I heeded this as my long term partner has horrid shoes that are scruffy and falling apart, but I love him anyway so I guess it doesn't really matter with the right person! But first impressions count and therefore so do shoes....!

Does it show that I luuuuuuurvvvvvvvve shoes! :)
Good luck, enjoy yourself and relax! i'm very jealous, love abit of Rachmaninov!
posted
26-Feb-10, 22:59
by Slizor
Avatar for Slizor
posted about 9 years ago
Quote From alpacalover:

Always wear nice shoes!!! (she used to say you can judge alot about a man from his shoes - if he looks after them he'll look after you!! :) )


Do women define nice shoes by their level of comfort...or by their capacity to keep your feet snug in numerous weather conditions (I'm currently wearing water-tight walking shoes designed for snowy conditions)?

If not, it could explain why I'm single.
posted
26-Feb-10, 23:06
edited about 29 seconds later
by Eska
Avatar for Eska
posted about 9 years ago
======= Date Modified 26 Feb 2010 23:09:36 =======
As a rule, I don't like men with shiney shoes, unless they are a professional necessity. I think it's a bit obsessive, like people who have to hoover three times a day. TThe snow proof shoes sound fine - they'll keep you warm and dry and probably look alright, so they indicate some level of foot sanity.
posted
26-Feb-10, 23:14
edited about 14 seconds later
Avatar for Alpacalover
posted about 9 years ago
haha, i'm not sure really! I love comfortable shoes to be honest - and in these times especially if cosy and water tight! :) Although I do have a lot of not so comfy pretty shoes but as i get older they don't get worn so much! Bunions hurt! :-s

However, really i think the man/shoes theory is a strange one, but I do hate shoes that are completely scruffy and look like they've never been cleaned since the day they were bought! but as I say - my partner won't let me clean his he likes the look! so i guess it has no bearing on my love for him - I wouldn't worry slizor! Apologies for the random comment - its friday night, i'm tired and i've been baking for my sisters birthday party all night!
posted
01-Mar-10, 09:30
edited about 13 seconds later
by teek
Avatar for teek
posted about 9 years ago
My only addition DanB, would be a little touch of relaxed chivalry. I don't mean gallop up on a white steed and talk about slaying dragons for her hand, obviously. But hold doors, be polite to any staff who serve you (very important), walk her to her taxi, that sort of thing. And I would agree with not building it up too much, it's just an opportunity for an evening out and a chance to see if you like her (it works both ways after all!).

Have a great time :-)

Postgraduate
Forum

Copyright ©2018
All rights reserved

Postgraduate Forum

Masters Degrees

PhD Opportunities

PostgraduateForum is a trading name of FindAUniversity Ltd
FindAUniversity Ltd, 77 Sidney St, Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK. Tel +44 (0) 114 268 4940 Fax: +44 (0) 114 268 5766