Hi Phdsuffer,

I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your Phd life. I have had problems with anxiety and depression for years now, and I'm in a lab-based PhD too, so I can empathise, at least to an extent. As others have said, you've done the lab work, which I think is the hardest part, and you should be very proud of yourself for this. You seem to be nearing the end of it now - when you say you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel, how do you mean?

It also sounds like you're feeling quite isolated, apart from your husband, who they gets the brunt of the problems you experience. Does he know how you feel? And as others have suggested, is there a counselling service or, at the very least, a GP who you could talk to about this?

What you're going through doesn't sound like fun, but feel free to post more here...

Matt

Isn't this just one hypothesis, with you null hypothesis (H0) being that there is no difference? That said, what I know about stats, back of stamp, matchbox, etc etc...

I think that you're totally correct, although I would add the caveat that a large proportion of those who seem unable to do this appear to be foreign students wanting to study in England, who may not know about the academic "scene" here, and thus perhaps a certain amount of questioning from them is valid.

But yes, if you can't do a little research into the PhD, how will you do lots to get it??!

Well, although I don't know much about it, I can't believe that institutions do not allow ethnic studies. On the other hand, I can understand that an institution might not like you finding out something which wasn't politically correct...

Well, this is nothing like my area. However, the conflict between proper research, and what is considered "politically correct" is interesting, and I'm sure the whole political correctness thing can block good research. Perhaps the key is to approach non-French institutions. I suppose it depends on your hypothesis, and which minority groups you're looking at, but there must be bodies either in this country (could you compare representation between UK and French TV?) or in the EU. However, I can't really help you.

Anyone?

I read Matt_the_Chemist's thread about mortgages, and it set me wondering about other PhD students. Could any of you tell us what your living arrangements are - rent/parents/own, with partner (+/- children), parents, housemates, or alone? And your age too, as I'm presuming it might be different for those who are in their thirties compared to mid-twenties.

To get this started, I'm 27, I'm starting the second year of a 1+3 PhD, and I live in a rented house with four housemates (1 other postgrad, three "professionals" (as if PhD's are "amateur"!).

Hi JenJen :)

Firstly, congratulations on starting the MRes - it's a big step! I am in my second year of a 1+3, having just done the "1" bit last year. First, let me tell you that it's not easy. In fact, most of the people on my pathway say that the first year is the hardest of the lot.

HOWEVER!!!

It's also an amazing opportunity, that you don't get with a normal 3-year PhD. You get to meet loads of people, and network. Second, it eases you in to the PhD. You'll get more help than you would starting a PhD straight off, and there'll be a learning curve rather than a "learning cliff". If I took one thing from the first year (I'm in biomedical science), it's that there often is no right or wrong. Unlike undergrad, where you get given a protocol like a recipe, a lot of research appears to be seat of the pants-type stuff. You'll not only learn more about your field, but it'll give you a really important insight into research. The reason that the year is hard is because you'll probably have more deadlines than a conventional PhD student would have. The flip side is that you get good monitoring of your progress, more chance to ask questions, and in the end you'll be able to make a better go of the "3" bit.

The way you're feeling is totally normal. In fact, I'd bet that at least 25-50% of your coursemates feel the same. The only problem is that people put on a brave face, and only shout about things when they're going well, making everyone feel inferior and worried.

Oh, and another advantage - you get four years of funding :)

Feel free to post any more questions or worries here - it's far better to do that than to bottle things up...

Matt

I'm doing a biomedical lab-based PhD, so my routine varies quite considerably, although it might go something like this...

7.45am - Get up
8.15am - Have breakfast and watch the news (Sky News - Eamonn Holmes is a god!)
8.50am - Set off for work.
9.15am - Get in to work. Make a cup of tea. Read emails. Write down some kind of schedule for the day's experiment(s).
9.45am/10am - Start experiments in the lab. This generally involves making lots of solutions up, and a fair bit of waiting around for things to do what they're meant to do.
12.30pm - Lunch, usually 45 mins, reading a book in the hospital canteen (food = foul).
1.30pm - Back into the lab. Fret that my experiments might not work, and then I'll have nothing to show my supervisor.

Intermittent breaks from the lab for 10-60 mins, waiting for things to happen. Depending on length of time, I may use this to drink tea, check Facebook/emails, sort out some data, make amendments to my lab book, or read a paper, although this last one is unlikely unless I have 60 mins minimum, as I find it hard to read non-review papers in drips and drabs.

5/6pm - Get my results from the experiments, or put the things in the freezer so I can use them another day.

6.30/7pm - Go home.

7.30pm - Eat dinner and worry that I didn't do enough during the day. Watch TV. Occasionally do a pub quiz.

11.30-12pm - Bed.

1am - Finally succeed in getting to sleep.

Repeat ad bloody infinitum.

If there's a significant overlap, then no, because then you could get a very large number of degrees without doing much extra work. For example, in my area, biomedical science, biochemistry, pharmacology, and molecular biology all have a significnt overlap.

Hi all,

I was wondering if there's anyone here who either went to Oxbridge for undergrad, or is currently there doing a PhD/DPhil. If so, could you PM me please?

Thanks :)

So, this seems to be caused either by unwillingness to turn the heating on (environmental, superstitious, or otherwise), or lack of money. I rather suspect it's the latter. Pretty disgraceful if that's the case...

Hi Keenbean,

As I've posted on here previously, I've had similar issues, although not BPD specifically. Anyway, you wrote something which jumped out at me - "I have never used my bipolar as an excuse for anything before". I don't think for one moment that you're using it as an "excuse", as it's more a mitigating factor, or a reason not to do the teaching. If you had BPD/any other condition, and used it to get out of something despite the condition not actually affecting you, that would be an excuse. But this is a fully proper reason not to teach - after all, if you teach and it exacerbates things, you may end up doing no more teaching and no more PhD!

I understand about the feeling of "getting out of something", but believe me, when something involves your health, it's best to do what's best for YOU, however it might be perceived.

Can anyone suggest areas where a PhD can be a help in getting a job/climbing the ladder faster, which aren't academia, and which aren't subject specific?

I forgot to add that, perhaps when I feel like this, I look at the past and wonder if things might have been different - I dropped out of Oxford as an undergrad, and dropped out of two PhDs at different universities (very early on), lal due to crippling anxiety and low self-confidence. It feels like I have the phrase "What if" tattooed on my brain.

Wow, so many replies, so much to say...

I was thinking about it more today, and I think that part of the problem is my target.  I always saw myself as progressing from uni to PhD to academia, but there are two problems with this. First, my field is biomedical/toxicology, and I always get the feeling that basic scientists are seen as poor relations to medics, whatever their qualifications.  Second, the idea of having to work on temporary contracts for not much monetary reward isn't that appealing. On the other hand, I want to make a difference, and so working for a drug company doesn't totally appeal.  On the other hand, I'm maybe not as wedded to science as I was, and am more concerned with doing something intellectually stimulating and worthwhile.

Perhaps I'm also not able to get used to being mediocre. At school I was in teams (ok, chess and quiz, but still), top of the class, etc etc, but now I don't feel intelligent at all, and winning a pub quiz is pretty much the height of my achievements nowadays.  Perhaps I'm also missing the aspect of being young and being able to do whatever you want, within reason, rather than now feeling like I'm stuck in one minute niche with no application to the real world.

As for the loneliness - I've never really had a proper, conventional relationship. The only sustained period I've been seeing someone was a situation where I was in England and she was in Berlin, and latterly in New York.  Othre than that, I've been in a perpetual state of being single. I've had plenty of female friends in the past, but never any who were interested in more.  This is something I'd very much like, but I don't know how easy it is to find someone who would understand the nature of the PhD, and why I may have unpredicted exits from the lab at 8pm, even taking into account my past levels of interest from females!

Social life. As I said, if I got out of work at 5pm regularly, I could do something.  But some nights it's 6, 6.30, or 7, and so it's very difficult to have any plans for anything. I've enrolled for a part time Swedish course, and I'll see how it goes.  When I was an undergrad, I worked for a student counselling kind of thing, spent most of my free time doing it, and made lots of friends there. I'm just not sure anything like that is doable with a PhD.

Finally, some of you suggested counsellors.  This is a good idea, although the counselling service is far enough away from my labs that I'd have to take an afternoon off, and I'm not sure if that's feasible. Also, I've seen counsellors before, mainly for my whole first year of undergrad (good, but temporary relief), psychotherapists (good, but the NHS limits you to 20 sessions and then tells you to sling your hook), psychiatrists (4 of whom passed me around with different diagnoses, concluding that they had nothing to offer me), and so on.  Gets a bit annoying after a while...