Yes, or simply that you *realised that the job you wanted didn't actually require a doctorate...

*realised through your experience in the lab.

Keep us posted!

Something I do (and it probably sounds terrible and unproductive but it works for me) is have a very familiar film on in the background... familiar so that I don't need to actually watch it with full concentration... That way, I seem to be able to work when feeling very little motivation to do so. Then I break through the sound barrier so to speak, and get into it (which is great - no need for watching movies then!). My theory is that having something on like that (with quite low volume but just loud enough to hear) whilst working is enough to distract my brain from negative thoughts like "this is rubbish"... and yet it isn't too much that I can't concentrate at all.

Another thing for you to try!

Ps. It doesn't work for me if it's a movie I love and want to watch with full attention... needs to be something middle of the road.

Haha! Good mixture anyway! And yes, I think it is mostly the UK that is like that too. I don't know any other countries quite like it, although I have heard that the culture / communication style in Korea and China is even more indirect and there is even more etiquette and indirect politeness rules to try and follow in order to get anywhere.

That's funny - I was thinking the opposite - that they were Northern / Eastern European and needed rewt to ask more directly instead of sort of hinting (the English way). Rewt? :-D

You're gonna be fine. I've never known anyone fail. It is a formality. :-)

Yes, bring it on! I can't wait for reform in academia. First the Catholic Church, then Hollywood, then academia. That's what I tell myself anyway. Change is comin'!

Absolutely! Best thing to do is just switch supers to someone better without even going into why (that's what I did - refused to say why - just that it wasn't working for me - then there's nothing that can be used against you). If you go into details then it's seen as criticism (even if it's true), and that'll likely only cause more problems later... there's a risk you'll be disbelieved, stigmatized, and ostracized for raising any issues against staff.

Hope you can switch to someone who suits you better Nino. Also please see about getting support for the depression - it's so important, as I'm sure you already know.

Hope things are looking up Cat123. At least you like your PhD - that does make a difference!

I know exactly what you mean here! I spent time in Germany as a teenager, which totally changed my communication style. I think I would have struggled with being direct about things if not for that (I came back and my family were all like "what's happened to her?"). I used to think direct was rude before that experience. Then I came to appreciate it as just being so much straightforward. Important to strike a balance though - some people do think direct is rude (even if it clearly isn't - they just can't handle it / don't like it - and I can understand that as a Brit who used to feel the same way!)

Good luck navigating feedback!

I agree and wish I could edit out the last two sentences of my second paragraph. Things are only going to get worse if you work with this person.

Hi Nino

I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through - it sounds incredibly tough. It sounds like there are quite a few issues going on. This is so much to try and cope with - in addition to your work.

With the proper support, you'll manage to work through these things I'm sure. There are different options. If you have a good relationship with your previous supervisor, could you ask him about possibilities of other supervisors? On the other hand, perhaps this new supervisor is going to help you improve your work and start getting publications. You could ask him what potential he thinks your project has.

I think the most important thing though is to address your mental health needs right now. A break sounds much needed - deadlines can go on hold. And seeing a counselor would be useful so that you can talk through things and begin to work your way through it.

Tudor

Yes, that's a great idea! I did the same thing when I got to know someone (said hi and introduced myself lol) at a conference. We then stayed in touch by email and I asked her for feedback on a paper that had been rejected.

Try thinking about the dropped out of PhD thing differently... you'd be in exactly the same position now had you completed your PhD, that is - looking for a job. And believe me, you'd most probably be going through the same thing - rejection after rejection until... the one! Some people are lucky and get a job first or second time. For most people, it's a matter of being super resilient and just not giving up until they get a job. It is a struggle. Focusing on the fact that you left your PhD isn't that helpful. You're getting invited to interview, so that clearly isn't stopping you from being competitive. It's just a matter of patience and resilience.

All best!

Ps. I say "just" a matter of patience and resilience. I know how hard it can be and how hard it is on self-esteem etc. Like you say, just keep on trying, and you will be rewarded in the end.

A good vibe is a good thing! My friend who recently got a job (7 very relevant interviews later) told me that she felt a good vibe (or clicked with them) in all of the interviews, and then was disappointed not to get the job. But she kept trying and succeeded in the end :-)

Keep it short (but do elaborate a bit if asked so that it doesn't make them think you are hiding something) and keep it positive. Getting rejections doesn't mean that you are doing something wrong. My friend had 7 interviews and got a job, another friend had 15 interviews and got a job. Some have many more interviews. It doesn't mean they are doing things wrong. Actually it means that you are doing something right because they are getting asked to interview. It means that you are competitive.

You could even go back to the ones you were rejected from and ask them for specific feedback.

Hi Rewt

Your response sort of makes me want to change my initial reply! As usual I was being shaped by my own experiences and seeing things with my black and white glasses on. Yes, it does sound like a situation where just an open conversation is needed. It sounds like they are reasonable people and so it should go well. They probably just aren't aware that you feel you could do with a bit more input / feedback. I hope it goes well when you talk to them about it.

Ps. The wanting more data thing sounds annoying! I've heard of that before though, and I am not sure what actually drives it! I guess some of it is the more data you can get (perhaps) the more scope you have to address different things and potentially publish (and even when you've left the data can be used by others). So I kind of see why some sups are always pushing for more. At the same time, you probably know when you need to stop collecting if you are to be able to write up on time!

Hopefully other people will have some advice for you too. It sounds like you're sorted. Keep us posted!