I am still in the decision making process. Summarizing pros and cons is helpful but I think the main thing is minimizing risk. I.e., Do / can I have something else lined up before leaving? Or is there something lined up for me if I complete the PhD (e.g., something more could come of some of the separate work I am doing with people away from my institution - and it may be better to just finish the PhD and move on to that rather than "stepping backwards"). My decision may end up depending on the (hopefully tangible) prospects of those two things.

I was only banging on about my situation and thought processes (in the last reply) because I felt the need to explain the situation better because I didn't find the football analogy quite fitting (although I could see where Eng was coming from). I'm not stressed about it now... just letting it mill around in my head and seeing what sorts of things I can find out / potentially secure while I come to a decision.

Just thought I'd share this paper I came across. Have only read the abstract so far but it looks promising...

I totally agree, and I hope MyWorld does something like that, and that it works well.

These power issues are massive and pervasive throughout society. Abuse is rife! Yes, people need to be empowered, and then things are going to change.

It's as though I've been tied up and blind-folded, and the ball I was given is actually a volley ball, and has no air in it. I didn't sign up for this. It isn't football. I don't feel like scoring. I want nothing to do with the whole set up. Whatever the quality of my goal, it doesn't represent my ability or my desire to play.

That's sort of what it feels like if going with the same analogy.

But if I go through with it, hopefully I'll end up moving on to somewhere where I can really play football. And what you've written is absolutely my attitude in general. It's just that this situation feels different. Like I've been sold short somewhat (a lot). I don't want to go into the details of it, as I don't want to feel sorry for myself or get anyone's sympathy. These things will soon be behind me. I just feel the need to explain that it's not just an attitude issue like in your original analogy (although I admit my attitude has been challenged by it all).

It's like I was aware from day 1 that things weren't right (for me). But I thought sticking it out and trying to adapt myself was the wise thing to do. And now as I near the end, I sort of am thinking: hang on a sec, was sticking it out really the best thing to do? Absolutely not. I should have secured something else and left! Like in the lab I visited... Where I actually learnt things! Oh, what a fool I've been!!! Oh but hey, maybe it's not too late... I could downgrade to mphil even now... It's not too late...

That's been my perception of the situation, and then my recent and somewhat sudden (and perplexing) thought process.

Thanks :-)

I've read into the OP's account and interpreted it for what it does sound like - but you're right - it is ambiguous. Very tricky situation.

This is the way it is, sadly - when so much is at stake. Sometimes a person's own reputation and career are in the hands of another (i.e., they have the power to harm in some way). It's not just a matter of not being shy or something. Otherwise harassment wouldn't even be an issue, hardly. It's a complex and difficult thing to do in some circumstances. Speaking up isn't as easy as it sounds.

I think this is a blurry area. Often the one in a lower position of power does not feel able to verbalize their discomfort. In the fairly recent reported cases of politicians (and other people in power) sexually harassing their colleagues / other professionals (e.g., Michael Fallon placing his hand on the knee of a journalist under the table during a professional dinner, and the other member of parliament whose name I can't recall asking his secretary to go buy him sex toys), the victims spoke out later, and the individuals lost their job. I am not sure that there is an obligation technically to have to declare at the time of the event that you are not happy with the behaviour. That's why it's sexual harassment oftentimes - the person in a lesser position of power feels powerless to stand up to it.

This supervisor is behaving unprofessionally and is harassing the OP. She says her behaviour is telling him she is uncomfortable. Is it really a stipulation that she verbalize her discomfort for this to constitute sexual harassment? I don't think so (maybe it is though).

Hope you find a solution. Best one I can think of is try the things pm133 has suggested about using husband as a tool, and if that doesn't work then leave and report!

You know, having had a bit of a similar experience I would advise you to a) make a plan of action that you will carry out within a set amount of time, b) assess the results of that (i.e., am I now happier with my progress / the PhD), and c) if yes continue... or if not, consider leaving. Don't leave it too long... maybe a few months would be enough. And in the meantime, see if you can find other opportunities that you think would float your boat. The earlier on you are, the easier it is to find something else (before leaving), explain why you are applying (i.e., this suits me better - I'm passionate about this), and move on! I have a friend who did this at the end of her first year, and she is now super happy in her new PhD. Of course you could re-think your research topic as Mattfab suggests - you don't need to leave - you could do it there in the same context. Either way, as Eng says, some big action is needed. You do not want to be saying the same thing in year 3 of your PhD...

I think I agree with Eng here. It is a good time to stop and take inventory. Is the second year looking like it will be more busy, i.e., do you have lots of tasks lined up - data collection etc? The PhD needs to bring some results (i.e., data that you make sense of somehow) - what plans are in place for you to achieve these? That's the most important thing I think - having a clear plan of what you are doing will drive the whole project and you forward.

Also, what is your PhD trying to find out? If you are able to remind yourself of this (remind yourself of the original gap you planned to address) it might help give you direction. The supervisor should be able to help here too if you are feeling a bit lost. If they are not fulfilling their role, maybe you need to talk to another academic about things.

If you want to leave and get a job then that is an option of course. I would just urge you to think carefully - would you probably regret it? Would you be happier on your PhD if it was more structured? If yes, then you can try to create that structure through your task list / project plan. Hope this helps.

I think I would just think about it being finished - visualize it over and done with. That would inspire me to go for it. Other than that I'd do all the usual tricks - breaks, rewards, bize-sized chunks etc.

From what you've said, it sounds like notice isn't required. Good luck with the job hunt!

No comment? :-)

Ah OK, that makes sense. Hadn't thought of that!

I see these two points as addressing different things. I definitely agree that the focus should not be on grades etc - although it does become difficult - as that is one way of narrowing down applicants in competitive situations such as trying to get PhD funding. I think it is great that people are able to go to university through non-traditional routes and then show what they are made of. That is progress.

Regarding honest conversations about what people believe a PhD should be for... although I feel strongly about what I want from my PhD, I am not sure that there needs to be any consensus on this. Some people do PhDs for a personal intellectual achievement, others to get a specific job, some to become a researcher, others because they are bored and think it will keep them occupied for a few more years... I think all of those reasons are fine - it's up to the individual.

Where I do think an honest conversation could come very in handy is with potential supervisors when applying to do a PhD. Because then it should (I stress the word should...) come out in the conversation whether they think that particular PhD (and frankly their own experience in supervision and academic know-how) is going to be able to offer what that individual wants from it.


Me too! :-) That is why I am so determined to continue in my research area - through whatever means and at whatever level.

I think the penny may be dropping (for me)... maybe despite all I've shared on here about not having developed blah blah... maybe my thesis shows that I can conduct a research project over the course of 3 years and write it up successfully (not the most exciting results but still)... and maybe that warrants the PhD. And maybe although I haven't developed as much as I'd liked, that is just unfortunate. And my best course of action is to just see the thing through anyway and aim for the development I crave in a future role.

Is that what everyone has been trying to tell me??? :o