Signup date: 28 Mar 2011 at 9:31pm
Last login: 09 Dec 2012 at 4:31pm
Post count: 451
Hi Annieslim! Mine is coming up too. Like you, I don't feel comfortable in interview situations. I think I'm better at expressing my ideas in writing. Tomorrow, I'm going to try discussing my project with a friend, and plan to record the conversation. I just want to practice speaking, as this seems to be the most challenging part of it for me.
Good luck!!!
First, congratulations on starting your program! Sorry to hear you feel like you're "hitting a brick wall." Just my opinion, but I think it's good that you're stepping back and taking a rest.
Could it be that you need more time to adjust? What stands out to me is that you've been out of school for a while, and you said yourself that you're not used to the challenging work schedule. Also, is it true that your colleagues are smarter, or is it that you've been away from your academic field for a while? Actually, it sounds like a great opportunity to "pick their brains" (so to speak). I think it's normal to feel intimidated at the beginning.
It's an interesting post, because, I think, the underlying issue might be a matter of striking the right balance between confidence and humility. This is hard for most people. (I myself am still working on it.) We all know people (especially PhDs) who are so over-confident that they're arrogant, and we don't want to be one of those! On the other hand, we all know people who suffer from the "imposter syndrome" Lindalou mentioned. These are the friends who make so many self-depracating comments that other people start believing the negative hype too!
I don't know the solution to finding the right balance between confidence and humility. This is just my humble opinion. :p
Very glad to read your update that things are going well! I agree with Lindalou: delving into your work can be very therapeutic and takes your mind off everything else. It's also nice to hear that you're branching out, and meeting people in the neighborhood.
I hope your husband is getting the help he needs. It can be difficult to accept help because of the stigma, but PTSD is an illness like any other illness for which we need support.
Meanwhile, glad to know that you and the badger are safe and secure, and that your PhD plans are moving forward!
Sorry you're having one of those days! A lot of people, myself included, experience that feeling of being stuck in limbo.
Maybe one of the reasons you're feeling down is comparing yourself with others who have moved on. But of course, you know you shouldn't compare your journey with others. You also know that you've already come quite far, and that you're close - very close - to finishing. As challenging as it is right now, change that "faint dream" into vivid, visual image. You know you can do it!
My viva was postponed because my sup was unexpectedly hospitalized. Good news is she's fully recovered, in fine health, and the viva is rescheduled for next week.
There have been a lot of obstacles along this journey: I left my program twice because of serious family problems, lost my funding, found new funding - if I named all the things that went wrong, this would be a very, very long post!
A lot of people come to this forum deliberating about whether to quit or carry on. Very recently I discovered this: it's okay to take a day or two to rest and walk on the beach, collecting your thoughts. Stepping back and taking a rest sometimes can be the best way of seeing clearly through a problem, or tough situation. It's hardly a novel idea, but I think PhD candidates are so used to being constantly hard at work that the idea of taking a rest doesn't register.
Academically, I learned a lot from this PhD experience, but learning when to slow down and keep things in perspective has been the most valuable lesson.
Heidi, just wanted to wish you luck after reading your incredible story. You're quite brave, and your determination will pull you through. Very sorry about your husband - PTS is not easy to deal with. In a way, I think I may understand a little bit what you went through: during my write-up, my husband had a psychotic break, and spent several months in hospital. But one has to pick up the pieces and carry on, and it's sounds like you're well on your way! Very proud of you!
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