Confess..

W

Thank you, PhDBug. I hope that I'm not hijacking the purpose of this thread, but just bear in mind the following. We're all different shapes and sizes, we all have our own little idiosyncrasies and habbits - you need to see things more idiographically. You can't just look at yourself and suddenly think you are a nerd (a term which can never be qualified anyway) because you can't see yourself objectively. After all, your reality is not anyone else's. So I sincerely doubt any member of this forum, or anyone that you know, would think that you're a nerd.
In fact, from my more objective perspective (because I don't know you and have no personal connection) you're in a fantastic position. You're a brilliant PhD student making waves, with the admiration and respect of those around you. Academia being the small world that it is, your reputation will carry you far. You can be and achieve absolutely anything you want - and you well deserve everything that's coming to you.
Relationships come and go (when you least expect it - a cliche, but so true), as people change, but your career, your reputation and the love and respect of those that are close to you never will. I don't think you can control or predict when you will find the right person. Just realise your true worth and let that person come to you - because he will.

Avatar for Eska

Hi all, @ Wally: Thank you for those inspiring words of wisdom, I think you've summed up the reason why this journey of ours is so important, and why we are so lucky to have a chance for this sort of career.

I quite like thinking of myself as a geek sometimes - I enjoy reading dictionaries and getting into the detail of language, and I think that's quite funny. My old mates think I am 'brainy' and have done since I was at school, and they like my occasional geeky ways, and what's not to like?

My parents thought I wasn't that bright as a kid, although my earlier teachers did think I was clever - the family were very surprised when I achieved a lot academically a bit later in life. They always thought of me as the creative, but down to earth and 'normal' one - whatever normal is... clearly they didn't know me that well!

T

There's definitely an element of "geek chic" where I work. We have an established hierarchy of who's the geekiest but it's all done with a certain pride (and humour). I like to refer to myself as one when I get overexcited (or start having dreams about DNA) but in truth I'm a bit of a lightweight.

P

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Quote From walminskipeasucker:

you're in a fantastic position. You're a brilliant PhD student making waves, with the admiration and respect of those around you. Academia being the small world that it is, your reputation will carry you far. You can be and achieve absolutely anything you want - and you well deserve everything that's coming to you.
Relationships come and go (when you least expect it - a cliche, but so true), as people change, but your career, your reputation and the love and respect of those that are close to you never will. I don't think you can control or predict when you will find the right person. Just realise your true worth and let that person come to you - because he will.



Wally, thank you. This brought tears to my eyes. When I express things of the emotional kind to people, my embarrassment (which in many other women is reflected in head bowing, or general other kinds of ways), mine comes out in the form of "Ok, so I have 5 points to make, and I shall start with point No 5 leading back to Point 1 which is what is slightly problematic".

This is precisely what puts men off in the one-to-one personal front and leads to substantial liking when I do a paper presentation. And understandably so. Only the closest friends and family can tell that this planned-to-the-core unbearably-CV oriented exterior is a very very poor reflection of what's within.

But I can't help it. If someone can spot the 'within' he will. If he doesn't then things stay the way they are.


OP, I have hijacked the thread and am fleeing now! In shame!

Best, Bug.

T

Quote From phdbug:

When I express things of the emotional kind to people, my embarrassment (which in many other women is reflected in head bowing, or general other kinds of ways), mine comes out in the form of "Ok, so I have 5 points to make, and I shall start with point No 5 leading back to Point 1 which is what is slightly problematic".


Oh bug, I feel for you! When I get upset I have this tendency as well. I get all rational and try to "logic" my way through marital strife.... more recently I've learnt to just shout - not sure which the hubby finds worse.... I'm sure you're more open when you're with someone you really trust. And hey, it's better than being someone who simply says nothing, or who has the reverse problem where they cry uncontrollably in a professional setting! Stop being so hard on yourself (up)

P

:-) Ah teek, the problem for me is that when I go point 5 to point 1, I am not being closed/not open, that effectively *is* me, unfortunately. Always been. So, what happens is that I accummulate a huge amount of teacher/professor liking/praise, a lot of peer admiration but that one aspect of me, hidden underneath this all (where I can be the most irrational, intensely emotional, impulsive person) is just invisible.

:-) Bug

T

I know what you mean bug, I used to be resolutely closed up like that, logic is a lovely shield to hide behind.
You can always change it if you want to though. Nowadays I feel I have more of a choice in how open I am (although I must admit, in my case it took mental health problems, good friendships and a lot of therapy to change my ways!). When you find the Mr RightBug I'm sure you'll let go more.

J

Bringing the conversation back to geekiness... I am a geek. I know I'm a geek and I'm not ashamed of it in the slightest. In fact I'm a proud geek. But I'm also the coolest geek I know 8-)

I am, however, not a nerd.

Avatar for Eska

@teek and bug: When I get embaressed/self conscious around the gentlemen I tend to start saying things that are meant to be funny, but usually come across as a bit insulting - I just get really nervous and defensive I think. In professional situations I just get anxious and brain stutter - I wish I got all professional and organised!


Back on thread: Yeah, I agree that geekiness is cool, very cool, infact: we should wear our geek-dom with pride.

N

Lol, I'm a total geek :p People tell me all day long. Except my closest friends maybe, but they too are most definitely... geeks...

J

I'm a geek but possibly not enough in my subject. Get totally bored by inorganic geekery then wibble happily over equations. Definately a roleplay geek though - bring out the d10s! :D

S

I assume you've all taken the Geek test (http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html)?

If you haven't, you're not a real geek ;-)

Avatar for EV

Sarahk5275 in the ultimate moment of procrastination I have just taken the test (took about 5 mins!!!!)

I didn't think I was a geek and the tests has proven me right - sort of :$

Apparently I am borderline geekish tendancies/geek with a score of 14.9901%

I wonder if anyone here is a dysfunctional geek (>75%)????

W

11.44% - so geekish tendencies. However, I have questions concerning the robustness of the test, it's construct validity and its internal consistency...

K

I only got 11.8 %...But I do think that test is heavily weighted towards maths/science geeks rather than your literature or history geek, for example :-s

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