Thanks to those for the genuinely helpful advice. However, I would ask that words would not be put in my mouth- I did NOT at any time ask for pads on the back for being brave. Belisarius what did you do in your situation if you dont mind me asking?

"genuinely helpful advice" is what you seek? The truth is, you seek pads on your shoulder or people who share their "experiences". You don't want anybody to tell you the truth or give you genuine advice. You enjoy the attention you create with your story and that's it. You dont' want to get out of this situation, you rather relish the opportunity to talk about it. As others have said, grow up. This is ridiculous. Unfortunately you don't seem to understand how ridiculous your thread is and I feel embarassed to be part of this.

So stop patronising me and others by thanking those who tell you how great you are for falling in love with your supervisor.

We fell in love. There was a real intellectual, emotional and physical connection like nothing I've ever felt before (though see late comments). We got very close ... emailed every day ... same situation with blushing in meetings (except also lots of "looking" involved too). Eventually, I confronted her with it & she admitted it, but then after flipped out. Would barely speak to me and ducked out of professional duties (not answering work emails etc). I didn't feel I could tell anybody, so suffered not only the emotional effects but also the work-related effects. Eventually, thank god, she left (wanted me to go with her as a supervisee but I said no!) Got a new supervisor. However, the pain was intense and ongoing. Led to severe depression and lack of work. Still couldn't tell anybody! Now, after a lot of support from family and friends (as well as counselling) I'm okay again. We're even on professional speaking terms. Was it worth it? NO.

And I entertained lots of fantasies about "what if it had worked out ... " In the end, they're the hardest bit to let go. I think you just have to accept that it wouldn't work out. The intense feeling is really & honestly a result of the power dynamic (how nice to have somebody to worship & to be worshipped by somebody respectively). It is not real love because it is not grounded in reality. Please get out. Don't make my mistakes.

@ o.stoll. I called myself out of this thread earlier on because of the climax that some people created here. If there is someone patronising that's certainly not Lamp. I think that there are enough people who knows how to save the world. Well go out there and do something useful then!!! If you are not interested in the thread it's just enough not to open it. Your attitude is that of some old fashioned parishioner who watch other people's lives from the spy hole and then criticize. Everyone can express their opinion. the fact that you are successful in your PhD does not entitle you to judge anyone. If you cannot offer any constructive opinion you are better to focus on your dinner then! (end of story - I feel so much better now!)

"If you are not interested in the thread it's just enough not to open it. Your attitude is that of some old fashioned parishioner who watch other people's lives from the spy hole and then criticize."

I am interested in this thread but not going to appraise the horses**t some users cover as genuine advice.

"Everyone can express their opinion" Yes, including me.

"the fact that you are successful in your PhD does not entitle you to judge anyone" - PhD or not, I say what I think. You can't stop me either.

"If you cannot offer any constructive opinion you are better to focus on your dinner then! " That's actually a very good idea. Thanks Corinne for this constructive advice. Should I have Pasta or Pizza tonight?
"

This must be that thing called 'intercultural clush'eh? O.K I take it on board. I am going out for a Pizza now. Buon Appetito!

The spelling mistake must be due to the low sugar levels. That was 'clash' of course.

Arrivederci

Does he show any interest in you? Because if one of my students was clearly I'd be a bit all the time.

But seriously, I think what belisarius said is really powerful and honest.

Dear Corinne,

I hope we are still friends?

Taking a step back a bit.

I think it is clear to all that that any romantic relationship between Lamp and her supervisors, is untenable. I suspect deep down she realises that otherwise she wouldnt be posting here. At the moment it is still a "crush", its not "love" as I suspect you don't truly know your supervisor outside of a professional context yet, and therefore dont know enough to love him. Its more like limerance.

With regard to how she should deal with her feelings, thats a different question. Perhaps she should look to strengthening her existing relationship. Or exploring what emotions her supervisor is evoking in her and what she is projecting onto her supervisor. Student counselling is good for this, and is available freely in most university settings.

The emotional types here have argued that lamp has a right to say it's actually "love" and not just a simple "crush" (that, in particular coming from someone whose username is "Rosy").

I've never seen this movie but I get the impression it'll be the same kind of thing:

http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/statusainthood/hsm.jpg

Of course o.stoll, we are still friends. Sometimes I find it difficult relating to your way of approaching people/problems. As I said intercultural differences may come into play. I respect your opinions, although I don't always share them. My point is in fact that we may disagree and have fierce arguments, as long as they respect other people beliefs, background and values. What I don't understand is why RogueAcademic continues with this -honestly tiring and irritating habit by now- of using derisory expressions when referring to differing opinions. Well, I am one of the 'romantic type' and proud of it. With this I mean that I RESPECT other people's feelings and I do feel that I am not in the position to teach anything or judge anyone . All I can offer is my humble opinion and moral support if I can. I suffered a lot in my life and as a consequence I am sensitive to other people's problems. I don't feel I need to justify this to RogueAcademic or anyone else here.