Hi! ( Olivia reappears!) I can so relate to the question. I started my PhD distance learning in the UK, while I was in the US, and was working a full time insanely stressful job. People did not seem to understand my need to STUDY in every spare moment I had. The stress did get to me, yes! Its a hard situation. I told people that I was studying, did not answer my cell phone in the library while I was working, and if they wanted to see me, they needed to plan ahead, that the ability to do anything at the spur of the moment was gone. Some got it, and planned breaks for me, to meet, cup of coffee, healthy lunch, evening snack, something, that worked around our schedules. Some did not get it. Family--I had to tell them even if they did not understand what I was doing, they needed to understand it was important to me, and respect what I was doing. They eventually in the end got it as well...and I finally decided I did not have time to worry about how others were dealing with my study, I just got on with it. Can you find a place to study out of the house? Library? Coffee shop? Park? Pub? Friends house?

Negotiate some thing with parents, and say you can watch nephew for a few hours on the weekend but no more. And put your foot down....tell them how much more pressure they add to what you are doing, and how hard you find it to cope. They owe it to you to help you find a balance.

A PS in the end I could not manage it all and moved to the UK to finish up! A move I will never regret! Is there funding that you can find to let you make that an option? I don't know what the Canadian government has, but the US government has a student loan programme that made my move possible. More debt is not that great, but it was the least bad option.

So sorry for that sad news PhDbug, I can imagine how gutted you feel...my dogs were all like family members, and its very sad to lose them. Maybe something can be done to find out why they attacked each other-- a consultation with a vet? there might be something that can be done to help the situation? its unusual for dogs to turn on each other like that, so maybe there is something that can be done so it can get sorted??! hopefully!

Well let me know what happens ....will be thinking of you..


I am starting to think I hate the month of December, every year horrible things happen!!!!!!!!!! I am always relieved when its New Years...not to be bah humbug its not that, just that every December seem to be dealing with a lot of death,illness, etc...roll on New Years.

Thanks Smilodon *hugs*

1,000 words a session is good! Good for you for doing that.

I am thinking of going to see Twilight, if it stops icing outside--might be just the sort of distraction that is good. If you go to the theatre, what are you thinking of seeing?

In the meantime, am enjoying American Pandora.com, which is great for online tunes, unfortunately can't get it in the UK...great sad tunes to meet my mood...now listening to Rusty Old Red River by Toni Price--never heard of her or the song....but its beautiful.

hail

spoof

Thanks, Ruby, that is very nice of you for the words of sympathy. Yes, I would much rather I could have been here and have had my goodbyes than have it happen when I was in England, and ex was a good comfort, actually ( we always said we made better ex-es than married couple!) so in the sadness there are some things to be glad for. Its been a bit of a bad time at home actually with things, a dear friend's mother is in hospital very ill from a brain aneurism....its like life decided to smack me full in the face as soon as I got home, and its a big shift from the nice cozy bubble I was in in England. Needless to say, focus on the PhD has been tough, and I have given myself some days off, plus permission to just do as much as I can, and not stress out about what isn't getting done...

======= Date Modified 27 Dec 2008 15:13:23 =======
I am trying to get done to work, I have a brand new laptop ( toy!!!!) to use, I plan to get through the handwritten edits I made to a chapter today--will be a bit mindless, which is about all I am up for at the moment. Its completely iced in where I am in the US, no getting to the library to work, and on the other hand, no getting anywhere else either, so with cabin fever, well, hope I can get something done!



Belated wishes to everyone for a great holiday and holiday break, and all the best to everyone for the New Years.


edit: on the note of ex's--sadly I had to put my beloved dog to sleep last night, but my ex came and sat with the dog and I through the whole thing. We had it done at home so the dog would be more comfortable at the end. It was a dog we had during the marriage, so it was a sad sad loss for both. Ex was a star, not sure how I could have gone through it without him. Some times exs arent evil, sometimes they can be like a very best friend.



I think I have become impervious to pressure--or there is so much that it is starting to de motivate?!

Olivia waves hello from over the pond! Some of us ARE now officially ON HOLIDAY!!!!!! well I will get some work done here, I have to, but not today, am in jammies, looking at the snow, and enjoying being HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that there are some many approaches to chapter writing, and what works is so different among individuals. Some people like to outline each chapter prior to writing, with lists of sources ( or have supervisors that require that). Fortunately for me, my supervisor has not done this, as it would be a very horrible way for me to work....I write ( madman phase) and ideas often occur to me as I am writing--much of the 'aha!' or 'Eureka' of insight occurs as I am struggling to piece concepts and ideas together, and sort out my own thoughts. Often its not until its own paper, that I see a big conceptual hole, or a hole in my own thinking that can require some backtracking to deal with. ( I am struggling through such a conceptual hole at this moment!) I am, just by way of reference, writing up, and its sometimes hairy to realise that there is a bit of fuzziness or concepts that don't tie up well in a theoretical framework, and its back to the slog of working it through....

Those moments of feeling clueless come and go throughout the PhD, I think the bliss of not knowing the vastness of what you don't know is what enables anyone to even start on a PhD, and then as you go, you realise how much more knowledge and information is out there, that you never even remotely knew existed, and this can be daunting, and force you to take account of wider bodies of knowledge as you go. I think that those moments of as you said " I don't know what I am saying anymore" are the ones that lead you to the deep research, thinking, etc, that lead to the originality and pushing of knowledge that a PhD is all about. It can be frustrating, but it leads you on deeper and deeper....the PhD seems to be like a layer of circles, you spend a lot of time perhaps circling around and back to ideas, etc, but hopefully always with more knowledge, more ideas, more links, whatever, so that each time you revisit something, you see it slightly differently!

snoop

fins

( one of my fav Jimmy Buffet songs!)

stomp

stump

mile

slums