hi Tree, if you are successful with RIS, you don't have to pay any fees - after one year's training, you will get QTS status, after the 2nd year, NQTS, and you can extend a third year. I am also looking at this, I really need stability in my life right now.

If you go through Teach first, it is one year's training and depending on which hosting institution, you could even do a PGCE, but they will ask you to pay something.

love satchi

hi, congratulations on starting your phd! When I read the first paragraph of your post, it sounded exactly like me right at this very momernt -- except that part about being totally broke for 3 years, I am totally broke now...!

I was very hardworking when I did my phd, I did not procrastinate and I was a totally different person to what I am today (prolific procrastinator etc.etc).

The best advice I can give you is to have a plan, build up work/tasks in small chunks and don't worry about not being able to finish in 3 years. Many people actually take slightly longer than 3 years to complete the phd (viva, minor revisions), just cross the bridge when you get there.

I would also encourage you to be friends with like-minded people so you can encourage each other and if you tell somebody what you're going to do, you're more likely to do it.

good luck

hi april410
it's a good thing that you have a tenure position at a uni in your home country!
Tree is right about the MPhil part.
About your phd intentions, what about doing a phd (by distance learning)closer to home?
Or could your university sponsor your phd? Maybe they have a special training programme for academic staff, perhaps later during your career they could send you to the UK?

hi bevcha thanks for the coffee! I used to love coffee with condensed milk, then I went off sugar - only milk, then only cream, then vanilla lattes *LOL*

oh yes. Now that I have not done any emails to Friend A, the twice-daily emails have now become once-daily (after ten days)

hi chickpea, yes you are right, I need to be assertive.

thanks again
love satchi

hi Athena30
thanks for sharing! did you get the job?
love satchi

hi AOE6 and BevCha, thanks for your helpful answers! Largely appreciated!
Come to think of it, I haven't snapped at anybody - I really should start.
What I tend to do is avoid a person, I think snapping is more effective.

love satchi

hi AOE26 thanks for the sample-reply, I intend to use it.

What is the quickest way to let down an email that says " How are you doing in you , I have been thinking of you. I would love to meet you for a coffee, and hear all your news." (from Friend D - also lives in the same area, also needy)

Can you suggest a diplomatic answer for me -
my truthful stance is that I don't mind emails from her as she writes short ones.
I don't want to have coffee with her, basically it will be hearing all HER news and I end up feeling depleted.

How do I stop being friends with people?
How about -- if I just don't reply her email (so no email, no contact, friendship STOPS) and hope to God I don't bump into her in town.
thanks
love satchi

congratulations DR Eska!!!
good news to start my day :-)
love satchi

hi BevCha thanks for getting in touch.

this is EXACTLY how I felt -- and I was soooo angry with myself because I did not tell him off, I didn't know what to say -- Dear so-n-so, next time don't write this kind of stuff to me -- and because I did send replies (although I did not reciprocate or mention what he said etc), he must have thought wow, she likes me, so I'll continue..

Now I have also changed my behaviour, I am not so nice and welcoming now. I recently went to a monastery (because I love monasteries) and there was a man there, he said to me, "are you a visitor, I'm a visitor" I said yes politely, and then I changed seats so that we would not continue talking and we would not walk out together/near each other after mass.

I am reducing emails to Friend A, well, I am still kind (and probably stupid) I want to wean him off and gradually it will be one email a week, then fortnight, then once in a while. Up till now he has already sent me 14 emails!!! (two each day from the time I started this post --and there was additional two that he sent to make sure the previous one got through!!!).

Friend B has miraculously not rang me for two days, phew.

Haven't heard from friend C though.

thank you so much again
love satchi

hi Eska all the very best for tomorrow!
love satchi

hi vivien
Since you have one chance to send the appeal form, just do that first.

hi Chickpea, yes she has recently been in contact with someone who can help her. I think she is seeking immigration advice, while she cannot speak English, her children are fluent. Hopefully she will find the courage to start a new life without her horrible husband.

love satchi

hi likewhat
I've just seen your post. If it is something you really want to do, don't give up.
It's hard when there are no real answers yet.

Have a plan for the Day -- say you spend the morning on Phd applications etc. and then do something else in the afternoon, that will help take your mind off things and also encourage you not to obsess about it! You could also watch one episode per day of some series that interests you, whether its a documentary or an instructional vid on Youtube.

ho ho I am watching the Walking Dead now, have reached Season 3. I do this in the evenings.

love satchi

hi chickpea
Friend C is worried in case she might get in trouble with the Home Office. Do you remember recently David Cameron spoke about people who live in the UK and don't speak any English? Friend C is exactly this. She can only speak very few English words, every conversation with her is a guessing game for me and we can never be without an app, obviously I can't speak Turkish. She has a horrendous life with her husband (for example makes her wash his feet EVERY night with a hot-water filled basin and towel!).

She wants to continue to live in the UK but cannot speak English and probably never will.

There is no one else here to help her.

People are nice with her and then people get tired because she can't speak English.

there's only so much I can do, and I need to stay away for my own sanity.
love satchi

thank you so much for replying to my question. I still feel frustrated, though, it's like a state of helplessness -- we are at the mercy of journal editors/reviewers.

I honestly think anything more than three months is just awful. It's like common courtesy, if they don't like the work, they should quickly tell us off so we can move on.

if I have any good news to come about this, I'll post back.
thanks
love satchi