I went to a talk a few days ago and became utterly terrified by stats thrown at us regarding post PhD life. Apparently, around 31% of PhD students in my field actually pass their PhDs. That's a pretty lean percentage. The speaker basically said that unless you are willing to sacrifice all of yourself to academic life, and are ready to fight tooth and nail for a position, then you can pretty much forget it! I walked away feeling pretty deflated and certain that I wouldn't be amongst the lot who actually succeed because I don't have the mindset necessary. The more I hear about post PhD life, the more I am convinced that I've taken the wrong path.

On the other hand, if you do decide to return to the PhD, I guess you need to be 100% certain about your choice.

As you've never had a job, maybe it will be a fresh start for you and you may actually really enjoy it. It sounds like your situation is quite pressurised, and you might find yourself relieved at lifting the weight of this decision. Just one perspective.

Hi angie. From your posts, it sounds like you're harbouring alot of uncertainty about this, and I would say if you're spending more time doubting the decision to return than being excited about it, then maybe you should really consider doing something else. I say this only because there's going to be alot of pressure on you to do well, as you've already taken time out. Do you think you can cope with this pressure? Don't worry about the gap on your CV. You can maximise the experience of research that you've already have and how it will benefit you in your work. People who leave PhDs do get jobs. My friend dropped out, and when asked why, told the employer that he couldn't meet the financial demands of doctoral studies. That one seems to work quite well.

I'll drop it for now, and then if she does get in touch, then I'll decide what to do next. I'm basically going to leave it to her, as she's the one in the delicate position really.

Sorry everyone! I left out a crucial bit! She told me that I was welcome to pop by her office for a chat, so I did. Now that I've had a chance to really think about this though, I've decided to hold back and just drop it. I really wouldn't want anyone to feel they've been put in a compromised position. (to the romantics out there, sorry for being so boring!!!) She's not emailed me since I visited her, and I think it's best if I just leave it.

My question is: What should I do next? Should I leave it, and wait until she's been in touch first?

I understand that she's in a more volatile position than me. It's a shame really, because we really hit it off, and I'm annoyed that politics have gotten in the way. Yet, I understand her position.

Hello everyone. I am aware that this has been a hot topic over the last few weeks but I was wondering if anyone could shed light on my particular situation! I recently initiated contact with a lecturer who has been showing interest in me. I went to meet her yesterday, after several seminars in which she was blatantly staring at me and showing signs of interest. Well, I went to see her at her office, and she was quite distant. Is it possible that she's afraid of what could happen if she and I were to kick something off? I'm getting mixed signals off her. She hasn't been in touch since I visited her, and a friend told me that she's probably scared of the reprocutions. P.S: She's not connected to my PhD work in any way. Should I email her? leave it to her to initiate contact now?

I know that we all suffer from time to time with concentration and motivation, but I seem to be getting this alot. For the past month, I've done very little work. I only realised this morning just how little I've actually completed and started to panic!

Hi everyone! For the past couple of weeks, I've been unable to focus on my work. I'm having a really difficult time keeping still, so as you can imagine, this makes studying difficult! I just find that I want to be more active, and actually doing stuff rather than sitting at my desk for hours on end. Has anyone else experienced this feeling, like you just can't stay put and are having real trouble focusing? I've been feeling well achy from sitting for too long, and find that moving around alleviates it. Any suggestions of how I can keep active but also attend to my work?! Cheers!

Shani, you're right about being honest. It's definitely the best way. I started like your friend by telling people I was busy, because I was too embarassed to say that I had no money, but then I realised that I was giving off the wrong impression and people thought I was being off. It's a difficult situation to be in, because when you say you're absolutely skint, people don't take you seriously. They think you're exaggerating or something.

I too am surrounded by people who seem to be throwing it around, and find it quite bizarre. Every ex-PhD student I've spoken to said that they were always struggling financially, and were having beans on toast for tea most nights. If I have a few quid in my pocket, I absolutely refuse to spend £2.50 on a bloody cup of coffee! I can get that at home for free! There are many things that we can do without dosh, but as you've found, most people want to go out. I hope you find a friend who's in the same position as you, and that you can be contented in just sharing each other's company. I have yet to meet a fellow PhDer like this, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I'm struggling with the same thing bellaz. You're not being ridiculous, it's a tangible concern! I completely understand, quite difficult when people are inviting you to do things and you have to turn them down left right and centre. They just stop inviting you and you do end up feeling excluded. I'm actually quite open about it. If someone asks me, I just say 'Sorry, I'm completely skint!' After all, it's difficult enough for the person in that position, why should you also feel guilty about upsetting other people?! Because of my drastic financial situation, I've taken to studying at home most of the time, and only popping into uni when I need to collect more resources. I know that sounds sad, but I honestly can't afford to even buy myself a drink when I'm up there! I'm sure we're not the only ones who are in this predicament.

Olivia, I too have concerns about whether or not this is the right path for me. I often wonder if I'm just 'going through the motions' and doing the PhD just to prove that I can do it. I've always had such high self-expectation (as I'm sure most PhD students would agree with), and I think the PhD might be my obstinate self who refuses to stop until I push myself to the utter limits, and the PhD is the highest degree attainable. I think I would be quite happy if there weren't all these mounting pressures on top of the thesis. I wonder if I'm going to be able to keep up with all of this.