The thing is, you're not actually told this directly. You find out from other postgrads as you go along (or at least that's my situation). I'm trying to focus on my thesis, but am feeling that I should be doing all of these other things, and I just can't imagine juggling it all without going mad!

Hi all! I am so frustrated at the moment!!! As we all know, it's become a given now that PhD students are expected to, not only work on their theses (which is enough in itself!), but we're also expected to teach, publish and present at conferences all during our three years of PhD life. Is there anyone else out there who is struggling with all these added expectations? A PhD is more than enough, and when you throw all the other factors in, it just becomes unbearable! I honestly didn't know when I started the PhD that we would be expected to do all the added bits during our three years. Anyone else frustrated by all this pressure?

Thanks to everyone who replied. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who is having difficulty negotiating the PhD and a relationship. I'm going to have a chat with her tonight and see how we can go about tackling this. I guess some of the problem lies in the unpredictability of motivation. Sometimes I feel more geared up to work at night when she and I are meant to be 'switching off' (an almost impossible venture for PhD students!) I think she is getting quite frustrated with it all, as even sometimes when we are together, she can tell I'm not there, that I'm thinking about my work.

I feel really guilty at the moment. For the past few weeks, I've been totally consumed in my PhD and have given my girlfriend no time whatsoever (we live together). Recently, even at the weekends, I've been sneaking off to my study. Yesterday, I spent all day reading and I felt really bad about it. I think the PhD is taking it's toll on this relationship. I can feel us growing further and further apart as I become more submersed in my work. Has anyone else experienced this difficulty in their relationships as a result of their PhDs? I don't know what to do. If I'm feeling this urgency to work, I don't want to stamp it out because of feelings of guilt. But then again, I don't want to just watch my relationship deteriorate all because of me! Help!

I find myself in the same position as you. I don't know if I'm actually cut out for this life. I thought I was before I started, but now that I'm six months in, I'm starting to feel like this kind of lifestyle doesn't suit me at all! Then again, apparently it's very common for PhD students go through these seasons of doubt, so I don't want to make a snap decision. I'm sure you're feeling the same way too. Maybe we should just let some time pass and see how we feel in a month or so? I don't know what the best solution is!

Sleepyhead, I can see where you're coming from. However, 'let's find out about' is actually a definition for research, isn't it? We can't go into our PhD projects with pre-determined hypotheses. We have to research in order to determine the viability of our arguments and then begin to develop our hypotheses based on the materials we are confronted with. I understand this to be quite common, being six or seven months in and still formulating your project title. In fact, at the end of the first year, many people change direction because they find their original propositions untenable.

Whatever decision you make, don't feel guilty or embarrassed about it. It's your life. Only you can choose what's best for you, and if anyone has a problem with your decision, shrug them off. I would definitely carry on though for the time being, and see if you're feelings change, which they probably will. You've got my sympathy and support anyway.

I understand the feelings you're having. I would actually go with your thought about giving it six months before you make any definite moves. Every day, I am surprised at the feelings that the PhD is bringing out in me. It really challenges you in every way, and the intellectual challenge seems to pale in comparison to the emotional. I think alot of our anxieties centre around how others perceive us. We are so scared to fail because of how others will view us. I never thought the PhD would make me feel so emotional. In fact, I actually thought that it would distract from any problems because I wouldn't have time to think about them! Instead, the PhD seems to shine a spotlight on your life and make you question and analyse everything about yourself, and things come up which can be tough to face.

Wow, thank you all for being so supportive! I met with a friend (another PhD student) on Friday, and I felt really comforted by our chat, also by what you all have said to me. He told me to just take it day by day, and not try to think too far ahead. We can never know how we're going to feel about something, say, a year from now, and I'm starting to realise that it's best to just go with it and take it as it comes. The PhD is making me question myself so much! I think I need to have a more philosophical approach to it, rather than trying to predict the future so much as I have been doing. Thanks again!!!

Apologies! I know that questions about conferences have appeared in several threads recently, but I just wanted to get an idea of when I should start thinking about presenting at one? I understand that is a bit of a silly question, as it will vary from person to person. The thing is, I'm seven months in--should I seriously be considering it now, or should I hold off until I feel more comfortable with my area? Cheers everyone!

I've been feeling like this for a month or so. From what I understand, alot of academics suffer from low confidence, but I think they're better at hiding it! I've read in several of the books on doing PhDs that 'feeling like a fraud' is quite common when doing a PhD, but I just have this dreadful feeling that I'll get three years in and then decide that I don't want to carry on anymore! I know there's really no point in thinking that far ahead, but this happened to a friend of mine last year, and he's still getting over it (dropping off his PhD). I don't want to sound negative. I just need to get some feedback about these feelings I'm having, because I reckon I couldn't be the first PhD student to feel this way!

Apologies if my thread is depressing!!! I don't have anywhere else to vent!

Hey everyone! I'm so thankful to have found this site today. I really need some advice, and I don't have anyone to talk to about this who will understand what I'm feeling. I started my PhD seven months ago, and I've hit a very low point. The way I would describe it is that it's like I'm having a major confidence crisis. Even though I love the work, I don't know if I'm up to the challenges of academic life. I'm so scared at the thought of having to present at conferences, or publishing. My question is: Did any of you ever reach a time when you felt terrified and unsure as to whether the PhD was right for you? I've started to have doubts about whether I could do this, but then I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, and that one day I will feel more confident. I could really do with hearing from those of you who have experienced this before, because I've been thinking of dropping out. I just need to hear that this is something that is common amongst PhD students. Thanks everyone!