Continuing, Scamp....
"But the thing is that subjectively we are the right people to do it (in a sense that it fits us, the way we are, the way we work, our skills etc), so that makes it subjectively easier"

I agree with you.

So, I guess "we are the right people to do it" since we have what it takes.

And it takes (among many other things) the commitment of being devoted to your research.....

Of course, each one manages different. But for many it seems to me, their research demands too much that begins to affect their personal sphere. And we can not just easily put blame on them as to say "oh, that guy/girl just let that happen to him/her.... but look at me, I'm doing fine!"

Hi Scamp, good post, just some questions..
1)In what way people in this forum are different or are not a representative sample pf PhD students? Why do yoy think so? (is it a matter of sample size or is it something else?) How would answers differ from PhD students in a bar?
2)Your second point: "doing a PhD came naturally as we followed our inclination and skills" If such is the case and, aside the need of being smart, disciplined, persistent, self motivated, hard working, creative and so on..... Wouldn't it be that, high achievers as PhD students are, all of those characteristics somehow imply some necessary individualism and skill to cope with loneliness as PhD sooner or later implies the "loneliness of the long distance runner"?

Adem: I guess the whole idea of this is not to state whether PhD makes ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE any social/romantic life or not. The whole idea is how much affects your social life and time to grow a meaningful (whatever that means to each one) relationship. However, it is sound to explore generalities and to shed some light on how are grad students doing and how their PhD affects the sentimental/affective side of life. I do not agree that PhD affects you only to the point you let it to affect you. One must look at particular circumstances. I do, however, agree that whatever your circumstances it is always worth to make an effort to get the best out of it. In general terms PhD is very demanding and that affects your life, for good and for bad, whether you like it or not. Certainly it is not a death sentence, but the point is to explore the different experiences regarding academic life/sentimental life.

Hi "H", what you mean it is an "approved marriage"??

Adem, don't get me wrong please, but it seems the only one grumbling here is you. Nobody is in such a high horse nor anyone thinks life is not hard for most of the non-PhD people out there.

You might be an exception: either you are lucky, or really efficient, neat and ordered and outstandingly smart or a combination of all that. That is good for you. But no PhD is equal to other.

I guess every PhD student would agree it is a time consuming, long and lonely road. I remember to have read a post about "loneliness" in grad student life. Is it familiar to any of you? Lucky the ones who get into PhD already married or in a long lasting strong relationship....

I find very interesting all of the comments here!

Who is grumbling? :P ;) :) ;) :)
Certainly experiences will vary according to area of research, time to complete, age, personality, and so on. Guys/Girls who already have a boyfriend/girlfirend/husband/wife before they enroll in a PhD program are one thing. I was talking about singles who get into PhD programs. How are they doing? Do they have time for romance, dating, flirting? Oh, I think it is not just a matter of getting sex, casual sex and so on. I mean a meaningful relationship (sex involved, of course). Lets say you have time for going out, hanging around and so.. There is always time for that, for sure. But is it time enough?
That is what I saw a couple of years ago when I did my masters. And most PhD students are in a lab most of their time....PhD is for working hard, long nights and so....

Just to be curious (and honest), in my experience as a master student and knowing a lot of PhD students, it seems to me that, unless you are doing a PhD in sexology, sex is inexistent in a PhD student life. Not only sex, but romance and so on seems to be incompatible with a PhD student life. Am I missing something? Did I get the wrong picture? I know, I know, you are going to tell me about some guy who... or some girl who..... I know that too. But that kind of people seem to be the exception very, very far from being the norm. Please, exclude the ones who are married.... Im talking about singles..... Thanks

Is anybody in a situation which you have an external supervisor? maybe such a researcher is professor at a different university and you stay far from him, doing research and sending him/her your progress through email. Does it work? Should it be avoided by all means? Might it works? Does it depends on wether you have a second supervisor? Is it worth? Is it dangerous? We all know researchers move frequently from one university to another, so I guess many people are currently in such circumstances

I will continue later

As I was saying....
I consider that
-PhD is not the best thing you can do with your life, it can actually be the worst thing you can do to yourself.
-PhD is not the only nor the best rewarding experience in a human life
-PhD is worth if and ONLY if you TRULY love your topic, your grad student life and all that is related to it
PhD, research, etc are only a part of a Human Life. Reducing your life to graduate life, academic life, publishing, research, etc, etc is not really healthy (mentally, emotionally, phisically). Ideally one must have some balance: intelectually (which does not reduce to getting a PhD), phisically (some excecise), emotionally (being truly in love with your girl/boy and with humanity, have meaningful sex, etc). Include also some artistic creativity and so on.
People tend to think that it is wise to sacrifice everything for a PhD because in the end you will get that precious balance in your life.

Hi there.
I quit PhD almost 4 years ago. When I did it I had only 4 months as a PhD student. I do not regret it, actually I congratulate myself to have done so. What I certainly regret is to have enrolled as a PhD student in the first place. I had previously earned a MSc degree and knew PhD was not for me, but my advisor kept on telling me "get a PhD, get a PhD, get a Phd" and ... "you will do a very succesful PhD, you are very promissing I will get funding for you, don't worry about it, I like you since you work hard, you get a PhD, you can not miss this wonderful opportunity" and so on. I did not. I got my Msc and went out 7 months for job. Then I stupidly decided to go back for PhD in part because job perspectives were not really nice (not too bad either).
I could continue talking about my personal story in PhD, and will later, but first things first, I consider that: