PhD Life and ....romantic and sex life....


Just to be curious (and honest), in my experience as a master student and knowing a lot of PhD students, it seems to me that, unless you are doing a PhD in sexology, sex is inexistent in a PhD student life. Not only sex, but romance and so on seems to be incompatible with a PhD student life. Am I missing something? Did I get the wrong picture? I know, I know, you are going to tell me about some guy who... or some girl who..... I know that too. But that kind of people seem to be the exception very, very far from being the norm. Please, exclude the ones who are married.... Im talking about singles..... Thanks


Erm.. well i have no problem with it.. My love life has not been affected by my PhD lol. Lots of the PhD students I know have boyfriends or girlfriends


This is not my experience at all! Are you finding it's lack of opportunity or lack of inclination?


My inclination went crazy just after starting my phd and pretty much stayed that way after i got together with my boyfriend. However i am just keaving my phd so maybe the sorts your talking about are the dedicated sort who are too busy and happy with their phd to find anything else


I know what you mean. Student life is so different as a postgrad, because you actually have to study. I think my problem is just a lack of contact with my "types". Theres less students our age and less on your wavelength etc. The main problem though is that you cant go and get pissed 4 nights a week anymore. Summers here soon, that always helps.
Good luck!


I don't know what any of you are talking about. Can't meet people like yourself, what, are you locked in a room or something and never let out? Why is sex hard to get when doing a PhD? I'm at a loss here: it's harder to socialise because.......

A PhD really isn't the eclipse of everything in life, if you find it that wau maybe you should have a little think about that.

People on this site grumble a lot.

Grumble monsters



Who is grumbling? :P ;) :) ;) :)
Certainly experiences will vary according to area of research, time to complete, age, personality, and so on. Guys/Girls who already have a boyfriend/girlfirend/husband/wife before they enroll in a PhD program are one thing. I was talking about singles who get into PhD programs. How are they doing? Do they have time for romance, dating, flirting? Oh, I think it is not just a matter of getting sex, casual sex and so on. I mean a meaningful relationship (sex involved, of course). Lets say you have time for going out, hanging around and so.. There is always time for that, for sure. But is it time enough?
That is what I saw a couple of years ago when I did my masters. And most PhD students are in a lab most of their time....PhD is for working hard, long nights and so....


Well I met my bloke in the first year (nearly a year ago) and we got engaged last year and getting married in the summer. However it is an "approved marriage". Maybe all you lonely people should go for that? (not the marriage thing necessarily)

I think my mum is quite relieved, she probably thought I would be left on the shelf! One of my mates (a bloke-typical) told me not to do a PhD because no one would marry me. For the guys in my community, its quite difficult for them to accept that the woman is more successful/educated that him. Luckily my bloke is very supportive (don't reckon he really understands what I do though) appart from never wanting to help me with housework

I think it can be quite difficult for a non-phd partner to understand what you are going through and that often leads to relationship breakdowns.


You guys make out as if a PhD is the hardest thing in the world, get a grip, it isn't. Most couples don't fully understand each other's jobs/careers.

What do you mean that there isn't time enough for singles to go out and meet people. I think a lot of people here seem to think that a PhD is life consuming, if that is the case an efficiency review may be in order. OK, near write up time I appreciate that things get busy but that shouldn't be the case for 3 years. There's enough time to work and play.

it appears that the group as a whole should descend from the "I'm doing a PhD and my life is so hard and noone understands" high horse. Life can be and is hard for most people most of the time.

No offence intended by the way.


I didn't think anyone said that life wasn't.

I'm just wondering why most of us find our PhD's quite time consuming, and you obviously don't Adem?


I'm not sure. I manage to fit mine into Mon-Fri, 9-5. Granted I am in my first year but I don't see why if I work at this pace I shouldn't be well on course by the end. I don't feel I need to work any harder either.


I could never manage all my work if I just did 9-5. For me, 9-5 is spent just doing endless lab work (and arsing about on here, it is true), and my actual reading and planning has to be done in the evening. And working at least one day at weekends is inevitable if you want to keep on top of things, especially if you're sharing equipment.


Maybe you're the exeption that proves the rule then. Hope you are.


Mmm I am in first year and do mon-fri 9-5 but am beginning to think I need to do some evenings too as I can't keep up with all the reading. I wish I did feel able to fit it in but I can't...maybe its about how we use our time?
As for sex I am married so not strictly legit for this one but since starting PhD my sex life is great...after all day cooped in my office I'm raring to get out or errrr ahem stay in!!


i agree, i'm doing my phd on flirting in the bar industry (did a year participant observation lol)but i havent had a date in over a YEAR, ;( a YEAR!!! i was normal before i started this and i now have a cat and live on my own!! They should put a 'warning' label on PhD studentships. ah well i keep chanting 'just one more year and then i'll be happy' lol!