Dating advice


Hello all. I'm cringing at myself for posting such a ridiculous question on here, but would welcome your advice!

I'm recently single (out of a long term relationship, where I lived with my bf). So, effectively, I'm new to dating. And I'm not having much luck...

I've been on a few dates, and a couple of people I know have asked me out, SO, you'd think that it's going well. BUT, I never really get past the first date stage.... a close (male) friend of mine recently told me that I am too honest, too self deprecating, and I drink/go out too much. He said the combination makes me less attractive when the guy clocks on. I think he may have a point.

Guys: do these features make for a kind of unattractive potential girlfriend...?


Hi Maria, I am a girl so I hope you don't mind me posting!

I can kind of understand what your friend means, you are clearly a clever and attractive girl (physically and personality-wise) otherwise you wouldn't be going on all these dates and have all these men after you! Don't think I'm analysing you or anything like that, but I think that if you're too self-deprecating that could be due to a lack of confidence, that is totally understandable if you are new to dating again, as it going out a lot and basically enjoying your freedom.

I think you need to have more confidence in yourself, these men are asking you out because they fancy you and are interested, so just relax and enjoy it. Let them notice your flaws for themselves, and they probably won't notice. The going out thing, they probably don't like that because it makes them feel insecure and they think you're going to meet someone else, particularly if you're drunk, I wouldn't worry too much about that one.

Good luck, Nx


Natassia is right - just go out and enjoy it! Its good to be open but usually not too early. Think most of us want to know if we enjoy each others company and then if you are still seeing each other after a few times, then maybe open up a bit. Yeah, I think everyone wants to make sure to get rid any "problems" that they have if ya think there is a remote chance, but if ye like each other, that'll happen in time (things you might think are major hang-ups might not be important to the fella).

As for the drinking, well, hate to be rhetorical, but would you see a guy again who got drunk on a first few dates? I suppose it really depends on what you define drunk as ... a slight bit tipsy but someway in control or bo!!ocked and having to be karted home? Suppose if you were really worried, you could always have that first date at the cinema or whatever to break the ice.

Don't be too hard on yourself - you are after a serious relationship after all. But rest assured, we are all that nervous meeting someone for the first few times. And hey - you did say some of them asked you out, so the first big hurdle is passed i.e. they want to go out with you. Must be doing something right ;-)


I'm totally at a loss as to where to begin dating again having too been single recently from a LTR - good luck Maria1!


Honest, self-deprecating and likes a sound great to me Maria! :-)


Well I'm gay, but if you were a guy and like that I'd be well happy :-x

I'm quite the same in some respects - I'm honest, direct and blunt, social and lively. But I have the attitude of if people don't like it, they can f**k off and go and be boring elsewhere, I don't intend to change for anyone. Enjoy it, I love dating, it's fun meeting new people and getting out and about. And it really is their problem and not yours.