Dating!
Okay, another random DanB offtopic thread, this time - dating. I've made it my mission this year to go dating more as I'm fast approaching 30 and been single for far too long.
The trouble is... it's actually been quite a while since I've been on a date and have kind of lost my confidence a bit about it all. Not sure where to look either - I've tried online dating (some nice enough people, made some new friends, but not really found it good for dating), friends of friends (including one who seems remarkably scared of me now) and... well that's it really. I'm not really very forthcoming either about these things and just assume nobody would be interested.
Sooooo what to do? What are you dating tips/advice/success stories? I long to meet a dream hunk in aisle 10 at Sainsburys ("world foods"). But I think that's more of a myth scenario than a reality!
I don't really know why I'm replying to this as I met my hubby at 18 and have never been on a real data :$
I would imagine that joining some clubs where you could find people you could socialise with afterwards would be a start - and you'd automatically have an interest in common.
hi Dan
How bout joining some activity (gym/sport) this will mean plenty of opportunities to meet people!
Online dating can be a bit dangerous (for me, I feel it is).
How bout doing also, some positive affirmations everyday..."I am open to all possibilities..."
and then maybe something wonderful will happen!
I wonder if you remember some time ago I said I had a big crush on my supervisor. Well, of course I did not act on this crush, and did not do anything. This time I have a new crush (oh dear) on someone but we've not gone dating; its just someone I got to know on a course. We've gone for meals together, sat and laughed, walked together in the rain, argued with each other, made up etc. *sigh* Well Im not going to do anything about this too, he's married.
anyway, good luck and do tell us any developments!!!
love satchi
Hey Dan - maybe presevere with the internet dating for a while. I was mortified to find that my friend had joined me up to an internet dating site, but after a few duff dates, I found the guy I have now just got engaged to. Online, he didn't look like the typical kind of guy I would go for, but he appeared in a dream I had one night (fully clothed I might add- nothing intimate lol!) and I decided that I had to meet him after that, in case it was fate or something. Turned out, it was! But I know what you mean- although I wasn't going to go as far as signing up to an internet dating site, I was beginning to wonder where my future husband would come from, because I guess you just meet fewer people when you get a little older. I would keep up with it for a while, and maybe shoot for people that might normally not be your type. And stay positive :) KB
Hmm, seems like you've received some excellent advice below. Now for my two pence-worth, not that I can really add much constructive. First and foremost, remember that you're not just DabB, you're Dr DanB. You're a cerebral entity, an intellectual force to be reckoned with, you're financially solvent (that's how the Daily Telegraph describes people with money on their dating website) and you can recite pi to many decimal points. The only people that wouldn't be interested in you would be those that aren't really worth any interest anyway. So, be of the mindset you're worth it because that's a very logical conclusion.
I think that the key to successful dating is to be charming, erudite and conscientious. So, dinner with Miles at7 pm? You're there at 6-50 pm and you've got the drinks in and warmed the seats. I've never dated so far, but when I meet a new group of people I do a bit of reading around and concentrate on matters to do with popular culture. So, I go on Digital Spy and read up on the soaps (including spoilers) and read all the newspapers online (minus the Times, which hides behind a paywall). And it really pays off, it does. For instance, I was at a meet and greet function at my university a year ago and I overheard someone talking about a wood-burning stove... Well, thanks to a recent article from the Guardian I knew all about the efficiency and green credentials of such stoves and was able to start a very interesting conversation on how ethical they are, owing to their carbon neutral nature. I hate football, but if I was backed into a corner I think I'd be able to stand my ground thanks to the sports section of the Daily Mirror.
Perhaps get involved in some voluntary work in your spare time; it's a sure fire way to meet nice, genuine people. Similarly, join groups that share your interests and hobbies. It's not a matter of if you'll meet someone, it's when. You've got to be in it to win it.
As for success stories, I have a mate who met his now wife in a night club (stay away from then though; they're full of drugs and STDs), another who met his now fiancée on a course he was doing in his spare time and have another mate who got together with an old friend. Concerning myself, I live in the arse-end of nowhere (think Father Ted and Craggy Island), so dating is off until I finally get a job and some money.
I hadn't been dating since an eventful break-up about a year and a half ago. I was scared that I'd lose focus and start constantly looking at the phone and all that incredible irrational behaviour(!) Which unfortunately happened exactly, met someone quite randomly one night out at a pub who came to talk to me and seemed genuinely nice and interested. After the date I noticed how I enjoyed dating someone with completely different interests in life - nothing to do with academia! And I just would not shut up, got a bit too comfortable. Well, I had to submit a paper this week but he stopped calling and I completely lost focus for a week. Going back to the terrified of dating state!
Well - after that depressing rant, I shall say I enjoy random encounters when someone just comes and starts a conversation at a pub, street, supermarket, bus stop anywhere - can be a bit silly or random - but it just puts a smile on my face for a while if nothing else and you might even make friends if not dates. Maybe that sounds like a weird and unusual advice, but I find it much more simple and sympathetic than dating websites.
How'd the date go DanB?! Recently single, I have totally forgotten how to do the whole dating thing, almost dreading having to do it all again.....:$
Did you tried www.idating4you.com already?
