Losing hope whilst working on thesis corrections...

F

I had my viva last December and was given major corrections which I was gutted about. Since then there has been a load of drama with my school - long story short: my viva report was lost by the chair (who failed to have a back-up copy) and the school didn't get my report to me until nearly 4 months after my viva. Due to this I have lost job opportunities and money as I turned down extra teaching hours in order to work on my corrections but seemingly couldn't because I had no report to work from.

Anyway, I'm writing up my corrections now (which broadly consist of adding an additional 2 chapters amongst some additions to old chapters) and am feeling completely lost. I had been feeling more positive over recent weeks as it was good to finally get to work on the corrections etc. But after a couple of days tearing my hair out trying to find academic work on particular areas that seem impossible to find, I'm feeling like this could all be for nothing.

I might have a second viva which is down to the discretion of my external examiner after she reads my revised thesis. That thought alone is terrifying me. If another viva does happen and she still can't find the will to award me the PhD, my only other option would be to go to another institution, pay another 2-3 years worth of fees and resubmit the thesis all over again to a different examining board. After what will be 5 years of full-time PhD study, that thought is unbearable.

Maybe I'll finish these corrections and the thesis will pass (hallelujah) but my heart says that it won't be that simple. I suppose I'm looking for anyone's similar experiences or uplifting stories to give me a bit of hope and positivity! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

S

First, I wish you the best of luck! Really it's all so daunting and as much as you invest time wise it never really feels like you've gotten much of anything done. Might I suggest asking your supervisor for routine bi-weekly meetings. I'm not sure how accessible your supervisor is, but perhaps regular meetings would give you the opportunity to make certain that the corrections you are making are inkeeping with the original design. The problem with corrections often is that they can be vague, a meeting to review all your latest corrections might be a fruitful investment of your time.

T

Hey there,

I'm not sure if I can contribute an uplifting story since I'm also having to contend with bullshit corrections (still waiting for me report), but just wanted to say, I'm sorry you're in that situation - it sounds like your university has acted in a blatantly unprofessional and incompetent way (they LOST your report??? In any other job people get fired for shit like that). I'm not sure about the legal situation here so please do talk to an expert, but in my opinion, if you can prove that this has cost you job opportunities and money, you might have a case for a lawsuit (you cannot challenge academic judgment in court, but this is another matter). I have seen it happen that departments suddenly become extremely cooperative the minute there is actual grounds for a legal challenge - but do not throw around any threats of legal action unless you are 100% sure you have a case.

Don't forget that thanks to the joys of the neoliberal university, you actually are a paying customer and you are entitled to the university doing its job. Don't feel like you're a supplicant, you deserve proper treatment. Your uni has no interest at all in you failing, so use all support you can get/make them give you.

Regarding your corrections - what I read in your post is that you are committed enough to your research to actually go and redo the PhD if all else fails - that may sound like a horrific prospect now, but hey, it means you love what you do enough to actually consider this, how many people can say that of themselves?

Can you discuss the changes with the external before submitting them to make sure you've done what they want? What does the internal/your supervisor say?

F

Hi anz07,

I just wanted to say you are not the only one who has been in this position. A few years ago I got revisions to do, that needed to be signed off by my external examiner. I was in such a state of anxiety trying to complete them I was having panic attacks, hyperventilating and crying over my books. Every time I went to write something, I second-guessed it from the point of view of my most critical examiner, who was also my external whose decision it was whether I passed or not. I ended up seeking medical intervention and also most crucially, working with a mentor who helped me get through the final steps (my relationship with my primary supervisor had broken down considerably at that stage). It really helped to have a second person to talk through the changes with. In the end, I handed over the thesis and received, within four days, the news I had passed and could graduate. If I had any advice, it would be a) find someone you trust that you can work with/talk to about the changes you are making, because getting feedback from someone on your side will help distract you from the examiner and focus on the revisions and b) look after yourself - and if you need help with the physical and emotional ramifications of going through it, seek help now. I always thought it could wait until after the PhD - but it really helped to have a reminder to look after myself, and that was my best strategy towards completion.

You can do it - just keep going! Good luck.

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