Signup date: 10 Apr 2008 at 11:38am
Last login: 16 Apr 2008 at 10:10pm
Post count: 68
I so know what you mean! There's such a thing as being too helpful and it seems to go on all around out there. It's great to be reminded of all this... I'm feeling quite nostalgic now. There are things that are annoying but there's also such a lot to miss. Do you play backgammon? I miss lazy hours in cafes chatting and playing that. And I miss Koshary (in spite of the pounds I put on scoffing it) and of course the sunshine... and... and... Oh dear, I must get back to work!
Didn't mean to offend you by saying that France is close and cheap to get to. It's just that I go to and fro all the time (my father still lives there) so to me it feels like less trouble than going to Scotland. However - I take on board that it must be different if you live out in the sticks.
Perhaps the most important thing is to suggest as many ways as possible of combatting homesickness? Or missing a partner? I guess it must happen to lots of people, though in the case of the latter I'm sure keeping in contact via the internet must help.
That's a fabulous story - made me laugh out loud!
I don't have anything that amusing, but one of the other things I remember as funny is being constantly treated as fragile. I should tell you here that I am nearly 6 foot and there's nothing delicate about me. However, I once asked my landlady if she'd mind if I moved a sofa from one room to another and she insisted that I wait for her 67 year old husband to get home and do it for me. I didn't but he turned up later that night (bless him) and said "But how did manage you do that? You mustn't lift anything by yourself again, your back might break." I had such a hard time trying to not to smile.
Thanks Beverley but that's not quite what I meant. I obviously haven't made myself very clear... my mind's probably clogged up with work! I don't disagree with Olivia at all. My point doesn't negate hers - all I was trying to say is that if one is feeling low for other reasons, (being unhappy in another country being but one example of many), it naturally makes homesickness a bit worse.
The important thing is that it will hopefully get better, Maree. I think you're doing right by staying and don't forget it won't be forever.
To be honest Nadia, I think it' s combination of missing things from home and not having a good time in the country you're in. You're unlikely to homesick if you're happy here. Also, forgive me, but France is so close and cheap to travel to! I've lived in France and I was never homesick there - yet when I lived in the Middle East I did have bouts of it. Basically even if you don't get back much you must know you have the option... so I don't think it's the same.
Hi Maree - you poor thing! I'm British but I've lived abroad in lots of different countries and I used to get pretty homesick from time time. However, I always found that this eased up eventually. It comes in phases and it just sounds as if you're in the middle of a rough patch right now. The thing that helped me the most is being able to spend a bit of time with people from my own country when I needed to. Do you know other Americans here? And if not, are there any ways you can think of to meet some? I really hope things pick up for you soon.
I'm fortunate in that I'm happy with my supervisor but if I wasn't I wouldn't think twice about changing him. Remember, supervisors are paid to do a job and if yours isn't doing it you need a new one. Try not to feel awkward or guilty and go ahead. Best of luck.
Surely marriage won't make a difference either way. Do it by all means... but be aware as you get busier your relationship will be tested whether you're married or not. My advice would be to prepare for this as a couple by being clear that when it comes to expectations, you're on the same page.
I'm sure your language skills aren't as bad as you think... anyway, even if you're fluent, there are always communication problems. One of my favourites in Egypt used to go like this:
Are you married?
Are you engaged?
Did your husband die?
No. I've never had one.
I can find you one.
No, that's fine.
But how will you get married?
I'm not that interested in marriage.
But you're getting old.
You'll get married.
I don't think so.
Yes. Wait and see.
The good thing about Syria was that it was much easier to focus on learning Arabic, whereas in Cairo I found everyone wanted to practice their English!
It's funny you should mention children, as I've had a couple of friends who've deliberately moved back out there because they believe it offers a better life for their little ones. I'm not sure if I agree myself, but then again all that stuff in the media lately about children in the UK being some of the unhappiest in Europe is a bit worrying.
Hi Nadia, I'm entirely self funded (I never even considered any other way of doing it) and it is possible to work quite a lot of hours and do a PhD at the same time, though you have to be organised.
Also, upon being accepted, I deferred my PhD start date and saved for 18 months, putting away every penny I could to give myself a little extra. If you have no savings, it might be worth spending a year or two making as much money as you can and living as cheaply as possible, so that when you do come to do your PhD it's not such hard work financially.
I agree with olivia. I try to see friends when I can, but none of them are doing a PhD, which can leave one feeling out on a limb.
As to sleep, there are lots of great suggestions here in this thread - if I was having trouble sleeping I think I'd work through the lot bit by bit and see which helped me the most. Good luck.
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